The "Nice Boy" Syndrome

[shheadz]

You're not getting it. My point in mentioning the assumptions men make when it comes to attractive women is that you assume the worse because of her PHYSICAL appearance. But the other girl, you assume she is nice because she's shy. (Personality for Character). That's not fair at all.

Oh, I get it. I'm saying that making assumptions is perfectly natural and normal. I like affectionate women, and if I go out to a bar and see a shy girl, and a blond bombshell, I'm going to talk to the shy girl. It's not wrong or unnatural for me to assume the blond is going to be a high maintenance b!tch. Stereotypes generally exist for a reason.

P.S. Man this thread has really gone off course.

[lahnnabell]

Oh, I get it. I'm saying that making assumptions is perfectly natural and normal. I like affectionate women, and if I go out to a bar and see a shy girl, and a blond bombshell, I'm going to talk to the shy girl. It's not wrong or unnatural for me to assume the blond is going to be a high maintenance b!tch. Stereotypes generally exist for a reason.

P.S. Man this thread has really gone off course.

shheadz, as a very social and outgoing woman, I find that I get more attention when I go out then girls who sit there nursing their drinks. I was at a bar one night for a friend's birthday party and I didn't know most of the people there. Regardless, I introduced myself right away and one of the gentlemanly guys offered to buy me a beer.

Throughout the rest of the night I hung out and played pool and ping pong and had some great laughs. I met a guy there that I ended up dating for a while because we had such a great initial conversation. I remember noticing this pretty woman throughout the night sitting near the corner. She kept looking over at me with these sad puppy eyes. I couldn't tell which guy was her boyfriend because all of the dudes she was with looked far more preoccupied with drinking and pool. She made no attempt to be social or step outside of herself and just looked kinda miserable. She had a great body and nice top on, but her whole aura just reeked of "Poor me".

[CocoChanel]

And what I'm saying is the reason why you won't talk to the "bombshell," as you call her, is the same reason why no one else talks to her.

You have the attractive women who exploit themselves, dress inappropriately and act a skankish way... these women are usually approached by men with one thing on their mind, "Fcuk em and leave em." Then you have attractive women who dress sensibly, mature and approachable... these women are usually approached the same way by men. Men don't seem to separate the two. They just bunch attractive women all into the same category.

[lahnnabell]

There is some truth to what Coco is saying about how men generalize visually attractive and outgoing women. However, it is also up to the mature and sensible woman to size up these men and make an educated decision about whether or not they get a shot at pursuing her.

I don't let guys get very far if they approach me drunk and stupid, try some stupid opening line (seriously, just say, "Hi"), or try some other tactical BS they read about in GQ. Make friendly conversation. Ask me why I'm going out tonight (maybe it's a friend's birthday, maybe I needed to blow off steam from work), offer to buy me a drink, pay me an original compliment.

[Sanctuary]

There is some truth to what Coco is saying about how men generalize visually attractive and outgoing women. However, it is also up to the mature and sensible woman to size up these men and make an educated decision about whether or not they get a shot at pursuing her.

I don't let guys get very far if they approach me drunk and stupid, try some stupid opening line (seriously, just say, "Hi"), or try some other tactical BS they read about in GQ. Make friendly conversation. Ask me why I'm going out tonight (maybe it's a friend's birthday, maybe I needed to blow off steam from work), offer to buy me a drink, pay me an original compliment.

I agree with this but the problem with this advice for most guys here is that if the guy is socially inept, a sloppy dresser, or not very confident.. compliments and buying drinks probably won't work.

This is why I think guys should work on improving their attractiveness instead of memorizing lines. But most guys will still opt for the fast and easy way of pickup artistry using canned lines anyway.

[lahnnabell]

Sanctuary, I agree with this too. I also am checking out how a guy looks and how he approaches me. I can't stand those dudes that pull on an Afflication t-shirt and think I'm gonna be drawn to their awesome sense of style. Also, I love my nerds, but ditch your favorite ratty Star Wars shirt and opt for something collared that complements your eyes. I know appearance isn't everything, but putting some effort forth shows that you want to put your best foot forward.

I like guys that have an easy smile that reaches their eyes. I love to laugh. When my boyfriend smiles and laughs really hard his eyes squint and he looks so happy. I love it when it makes that face.

[CocoChanel]

I agree with this but the problem with this advice for most guys here is that if the guy is socially inept, a sloppy dresser, or not very confident, compliments and buying drinks probably won't work.

This is why I think guys should work on improving their attractiveness instead of memorizing lines. But most guys will still opt for the fast and easy way of pickup artistry using canned lines anyway.

Hygiene and Confidence shows that you accept what you have and you take care of it. Ugly or Attractive... who would want to be with someone dirty and sloppy? I totally agree with you.

[IndiReloaded]

There are plenty of nice, confident men who are looking for nice, confident women. Its not like the terms are mutually exclusive.

Shy can be okay, but be careful it doesn't hide repressed or damaged. It often does. Same for people who are overly outgoing, just the opposite response to the same problem.

If you want to have a stable relationship, look for someone confident and balanced, without too much baggage. IMO.

[BoredGeorge]

There is some truth to what Coco is saying about how men generalize visually attractive and outgoing women. However, it is also up to the mature and sensible woman to size up these men and make an educated decision about whether or not they get a shot at pursuing her.

I don't let guys get very far if they approach me drunk and stupid, try some stupid opening line (seriously, just say, "Hi"), or try some other tactical BS they read about in GQ. Make friendly conversation. Ask me why I'm going out tonight (maybe it's a friend's birthday, maybe I needed to blow off steam from work), offer to buy me a drink, pay me an original compliment.

Ridiculous. Unless you are handsome, most girls will reject you if you just say 'Hi'.

[lahnnabell]

Ridiculous. Unless you are handsome, most girls will reject you if you just say 'Hi'.

Quit assuming you know what goes on inside every woman's head, George. I understand you've had quite a bit of bad luck on this front, but it grows tiresome to listen to you whine about it all the f'ing time.

[Junket]

Quit assuming you know what goes on inside every woman's head, George. I understand you've had quite a bit of bad luck on this front, but it grows tiresome to listen to you whine about it all the f'ing time.

He's like the new Boobaa.

[chump4u]

There are plenty of nice, confident men who are looking for nice, confident women. Sure are, aren't there? But they never find them.
If you want to have a stable relationship, look for someone confident and balanced, without too much baggage. And while you're at it, see if you can catch a rainbow.

Ridiculous. Unless you are handsome, most girls will reject you if you just say 'Hi'. Absolute truth, well-stated

Quit assuming you know what goes on inside every woman's head, George. Judging from some of your posts on other threads,he seems to know what goes on in your head.

He's like the new Boobaa.

And Frasbee is...well, Frasbee is...just like the same old Frasbee. What a pity.

[lahnnabell]

chump, I've never had a problem with you before. Why are you picking a fight? Yeah, so the majority of my thoughts on this forum are centered on my boyfriend and sex. I do think about those two things a lot.

George, on the other hand, has quite the bad habit of picking on everyone if they don't agree with him in the slightest. He's got a very bad attitude. I'm sorry if he's been hurt, but he can't keep generalizing that all women suck. Just like women can't say, "All men are cheaters." or "All men are liars."

I guarantee you guys that you'll get further with "Hi" than you do with some force-fed BS line out of a magazine. I've talked to plenty of awkward, unattractive dudes in bars before. Why does there always have to be this pretext that because a woman is talking to you she automatically wants to suck your d*ck? I like to talk and socialize for the sake of socializing too you know. Maybe if some guys had the more obvious intention of getting to know a woman instead of trying to figure out if she spits of swallows, he'd get somewhere.

[CocoChanel]

I make them good boys go bad. LOL!

[shheadz]

I guarantee you guys that you'll get further with "Hi" than you do with some force-fed BS line out of a magazine.

This is why I always recommend that guys walking up to women should act like they've known the girl forever. Like they're already friends. Walking up to a woman and saying, "Hey, what are you up to tonight?" sets a much better, more relaxed tone than some cheesy pick up line. It works especially well on very attractive women who are either ignored all night, or hear one pick up line after another. Plus it helps remove some of the tension in approaching a woman you don't know.