Sticky situation....help!

[Jeblina]

No, I think dinner is a good idea; like I said yesterday. Approach it like you want to have dinner to resolve things in a positive way, NOT a confrontational dinner (ie-"We need to talk...")

But I said this yesterday, and got flamed for giving poor advice from some of the ladies here.

go for the dinner!

But don't rush into judging events that may play out either way; this may require some patience on your part. Hopefully not too much though.

I was thinking of approaching in this manner...."I'd really like to have dinner with you tonight...." (I was going to say"...so that we can sit down and talk" but that sounds confrontational too?)

I have had and continue to have an open mind....I'm a patient person (I think the fact that he's blown me off a number of times and I've listened to his "excuses" and I'm still with him is a testament as to just HOW patient I am)......but I tend to be very emotional....and if I get frustrated, it can come out as anger....or sadness.....I've also gotten used to hearing what I want to hear, so when it doesn't happen that way....I can be pretty crushed....I'm going to do my absolute best to be a diplomat tonight

[Lloyd95]

Alright. I say go with the dinner and hopefully you'll get your chance to talk. But, if he does blow you off, maybe you have to rethink what some people have been saying here; that he's not going to chance, and as time goes by, he will continue to do so, which will not make you happy.

You deserve to be happy. But I doubt he'll blow you off, seems to me that he has way more to lose than you do.

[shh!]

Jaysus! Where is Cybog when you need him? Okay, Jeblina? I'm going to be very direct with you, sweetie, so brace yourself. This guy is NOT WORTH YOUR TIME. Worse yet, he is taking time away that would be better spent on your sweet little girl. He is your high school friend's left-overs, at high risk of being a drug addict (if he isn't one already), and frankly, he just doesn't seem all that interested. Men who are interested CALL YOU BACK and don't have their mommas give you the run-around. Did I say man? Because I meant BOY. He is very likely not emotionally mature enough to handle a real relationship. Now I know you think he is "special" because your sexual inhibitions are diminishing, but that happens ANYWAY as you age beyond your teenage years. You've already jumped through too many hoops for him and even participated to some extent in Lloyds soft-core porn fantasy of a cowgirl in a barn. You should stop it now. You will be dating more when the guys in your age range are older. They are too young for the kind of responsibilities you have right now.

Sorry if you find my opinion offensive. I really do mean well.

[Jeblina]

Jaysus! Where is Cybog when you need him? Okay, Jeblina? I'm going to be very direct with you, sweetie, so brace yourself. This guy is NOT WORTH YOUR TIME. Worse yet, he is taking time away that would be better spent on your sweet little girl. He is your high school friend's left-overs, at high risk of being a drug addict (if he isn't one already), and frankly, he just doesn't seem all that interested. Men who are interested CALL YOU BACK and don't have their mommas give you the run-around. Did I say man? Because I meant BOY. He is very likely not emotionally mature enough to handle a real relationship. Now I know you think he is "special" because your sexual inhibitions are diminishing, but that happens ANYWAY as you age beyond your teenage years. You've already jumped through too many hoops for him and even participated to some extent in Lloyds soft-core porn fantasy of a cowgirl in a barn. You should stop it now. You will be dating more when the guys in your age range are older. They are too young for the kind of responsibilities you have right now.

Sorry if you find my opinion offensive. I really do mean well.

I wouldn't post on here if I was prepared to hear every different point of view......so while your opinion is very blunt and to-the-point.....most of it is probably true.....I may be in denial......but I think I'm prepared to give him one more chance tonight to come to dinner with me and talk....if not....well...then, I'll have to reevaluate. Thanks for being so honest

[Jeblina]

Does anyone have any last words of advice before I head out and see what happens tonight?

I'm going with,"Come have dinner with me tonight...my treat." And then when we're talking.....hell....I don't really know what exactly I'm going to say.....probably just ask what's going on....and I'm concerned about him and his actions of late because I care about him, blah blah blah.

Any suggestions?

[TAVS]

No other suggestions Jeblina. Just keep your head high and know you deserve some respect. Good luck

[shh!]

Don't do it.....

(sorry. I am a killjoy.)

But I hope you get what you need out of this experience.

[Jeblina]

Don't do it.....

(sorry. I am a killjoy.)

But I hope you get what you need out of this experience.

If all I get is some sense of closure, I'll be happy. I think I need this more for myself, and less for "saving" the relationship....yeah, I think he's a really nice guy, and yes, I like him a lot....but......I need some common courtesy from him.....and if I can't get that...I guess I'll know my answer, right?

[Lloyd95]

in Lloyds soft-core porn fantasy of a cowgirl in a barn.

God I hope this mental picture in my head doesn't go away...

[Rob26]

If you have some sort of relationship in mind with this guy, I think you are probably in for a disappointment. It sounds to me as if he just racked you up as a sexual "conquest" and now wants to move on.

I could be totally wrong about him though. Is he popular with the ladies or a shy type?

[Jeblina]

If you have some sort of relationship in mind with this guy, I think you are probably in for a disappointment. It sounds to me as if he just racked you up as a sexual "conquest" and now wants to move on.

I could be totally wrong about him though. Is he popular with the ladies or a shy type?

Absolutely the shy type....he's not a "hot" guy....really, when we were in school, I was NEVER attracted to him, and never saw him as anything more than a friend (maybe because I knew that I could get good-looking guys back then because I had more confidence? not to sound stuck up....but I was a cocky 17 year old ). Now though, I am attracted to him personality, which has made him attractive to me....

As for sex....it hasn't been based on sex at ALL....in fact, in the two months that we've been dating, we've only had sex 4 times (well....3 WHILE we were dating...one before). So I don't think it's about that....I could be wrong though...I'm not a guy, and don't know how they think.

[Lloyd95]

Yo, so how'd it go??

[TAVS]

Two months??? Two Months??? Did you mention this before (probably)? Dude, forget about him....well unless he totally surprised you tonight with a romantic gesture.

[Jeblina]

Yo, so how'd it go??

HMPH....I'm still trying to decide exactly HOW it went....considering that it didn't really go ANYWHERE! Umm....short version...

Went to the feed store (again, looking killer of course)...talked to him for FOREVER....he borrowed a few CDs of mine and we chatted for about 20 mins. I asked him what he had planned after work, he said he had something to do...but it should only take about 30 mins (I've started to realize, in "Bobby-speak" when he says a time, I add 30 mins to it...hehe....I'm closer more often than he is). So, I told him that I wanted to go out with him tonight....my treat. He asked where we were going to go....I said...let's at least go out to dinner, or get some takeout and have a nice, sit down meal, okay?" He said..."sounds great...I've been wanting to try this new place...blah blah blah" So he kissed me (yay...good sign) and I left.

I got to the barn and started on my chores, determined to NOT get dirty....but thanks to Tropical Storm Ophilia off our coast, EVERYTHING is muddy and wet....including my stalls....UGH. But I brought my change of clothes (yes....a hot outfit....an actual DRESS that fits me LOL). So, I finally finished my work, and called him....and he said that his daughter and her mother had unexpectedly shown up....blah blah blah....and he asked very nicely if we could take a raincheck on our date. He said he'd call me later when they left to see if I was still close to his house.

I've tried calling a few times...no answer (are we even surprised about this anymore?)

So...I don't know.....as you can probably tell...I'm feeling a little fed up with the whole thing....but, I don't know what to do...he didn't blow me off...he asked for a raincheck......but it just seems like it's always SOMETHING.......and then I'm WAAAAAAY at the bottom of the important things to do/see list. I'm frustrated.

[TAVS]

Hmmmm. Very disappointing. He sure seems to spend a lot of time with his ex's family. Has it been like this for the past two months or is he spending more time in that scenario? I've seen your picture, so I imagine if you dressed in a "hot outfit" any man would die to go to dinner with you. What a jip. Did you ask him what happened the night before when he totally blew you off??