do yourself a favor

[CAM]

Okay, clarification...BUT, your last post...I don't buy that stuff either. This whole nobility brought on by adversity stuff is just a new twist on victim status. It sounds like some kind of Morgan Freeman: "victim" and yet "sage" role. That's total BS. Its as tied to phenomenology as the victim argument. The whole, "You don't know what its like to walk the hard walk until you've done it..." It denies the notion that there is a set of guiding principles which, if followed, tend to produce a better life. Whether we've found those principles early or late, living them is the issue...not the road we took to get there.

[CAM]

Must sleep now, goodnight, Mis You're a good person in my book, even if I find disagreement with you at times.

[misombra]

Okay, clarification...BUT, your last post...I don't buy that stuff either. This whole nobility brought on by adversity stuff is just a new twist on victim status. It sounds like some kind of Morgan Freeman: "victim" and yet "sage" role. That's total BS. Its as tied to phenomenology as the victim argument. The whole, "You don't know what its like to walk the hard walk until you've done it..." It denies the notion that there is a set of guiding principles which, if followed, tend to produce a better life. Whether we've found those principles early or late, living them is the issue...not the road we took to get there.

well if it's bs, it's just as much bs as "well we all got there the same way."

either way, it's not the same. sorry. we all have our own experiences. the victim thing is arbitrary. you're a victim if you want to be.

[Aeradalia]

I was in the same shoes always being the one who had to make sane decisions for both mom and stepdad.

My mom 'accidentally' got pregnant, and so my dad did the 'right thing' and married her. I was raised up with the assumption that I was suppose to know certain things ahead of time (which I didn't)... so I've always rushed to try to stay ahead of the game... When I became older I had to be arbitrator and 24/7 peacekeeper between them. Even when they were going through a divorce, I was the one that helped them both through it all... Even now, they still expect me to carry on the duties of 'peacekeeper' and my mom will try to guilt me into helping her... My life has always been responsibility, accountability, and sense of duty... very little fun at all..

I had to be an adult before my parents were... Sometimes I think it would've been better had I been given up for adoption... 'Keeping the child' isn't always the best remedy..

[CAM]

well if it's bs, it's just as much bs as "well we all got there the same way."

either way, it's not the same. sorry. we all have our own experiences. the victim thing is arbitrary. you're a victim if you want to be.

First paragraph is meaningless because who's going to deny the position...but, its built on a faulty premise and it is set up as a Hobson's choice. Its a non-choice. Duh...the opposite extreme doesn't apply either? What a shock.

The second paragraph...of course, one is a victim if one wants to be. Agreed. But, your earlier statement about sagacity emerging from adversity...it doesn't follow that sagacity is necessarily a product of circumstances that have impacted a person. Remember, much of Socrates' wise teachings emerge prior to his trial and subsequent suicide by hemlock. And certainly Confucius offers us many truths from a position of relative comfort.

[IndiReloaded]

Oh, LOL.

Socrates wasn't murdered. I heard it from a woman who was the cousin of M.Socrates' washer woman at the common well: he was married and decided to drink from the cup anyway.

[misombra]

well what can i say. elvis made a lot of money ripping off the music of black people. but elvis still made a lot of money. so that makes it all okay. right?

[doppelgaenger]

Who gives a damn if Socrates was murdered?

[doppelgaenger]

Well the funny thing is that no matter what you debate, page after page, anyone who reads this shit is going to judge it to their own standard and do what they think is right. So why bother and argue what's right in the first place? If you want anyone to get something out of this thread, you should be demonstrating respect for each others' views and shit.

[abetterus]

Marriage is not for everyone and we are taught...almost pushed into finding a spouse...If your not married, everyone ask you, "Hey when are you gunna get married?"....So, somtimes we make the wrong choice in haste...
I personally enjoy marriage, but I have an excellent partner.

[CAM]

If you want anyone to get something out of this thread, you should be demonstrating respect for each others' views and shit.

What does this mean? I hear this all the time....the line that if you want anyone to listen to you, then don't disagree with their opinion. Huh? What, it is some kind of world where we just express ourselves in the vacuum of space and the words don't bounce off of anything? The word "respect" had come to mean "don't say that someone else is wrong, in your view" That's not respect--that's ridiculous. Respect means that even though I think you're wrong, I'm not going to call you an idiot. I'm just going to say, "I think you're wrong."

Get it?

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

Ugh. This whole thread is bullshit to me.

I'm getting the shitty end of the stick because I dont view marriage like some people do. Some see it as nothing, whereas I see it as something special, another (optional) step in life, and a responsibility. So what if that is my views? I'm not here forcing it down anyone's throats about NOT getting married. Like stated in a previous post, I'm not a marriage recruiter. So why are you acting like a non-marriage recruiter? Why am I an idiot because YOU dont like it? Is it supposed to make you an idiot in my eyes because you dont view things the same way I do?

Jeez let's get over it. It's funny how this turned into a 10+ page over a one liner that we dont know the true meaning behind, but we assume was a failed marriage. It is best to agree to disagree cuz you aren't gonna force someone to change their perspective on something, or at least you are not gonna force me.

[CAM]

Why am I an idiot because YOU dont like it? Is it supposed to make you an idiot in my eyes because you dont view things the same way I do?

Jeez let's get over it. It's funny how this turned into a 10+ page over a one liner that we dont know the true meaning behind, but we assume was a failed marriage. It is best to agree to disagree cuz you aren't gonna force someone to change their perspective on something, or at least you are not gonna force me.

I don't know who calling you an idiot, I certainly wasn't. If you are/were an idiot, then I have no idea why that path was chosen; I'm not a psychologist

Of course nobody is going to force you to choose marriage. Although, in some places of the world today, the end of a gun turns out to be the deciding factor to do many things.

[misombra]

First paragraph is meaningless because who's going to deny the position...but, its built on a faulty premise and it is set up as a Hobson's choice. Its a non-choice. Duh...the opposite extreme doesn't apply either? What a shock.

The second paragraph...of course, one is a victim if one wants to be. Agreed. But, your earlier statement about sagacity emerging from adversity...it doesn't follow that sagacity is necessarily a product of circumstances that have impacted a person. Remember, much of Socrates' wise teachings emerge prior to his trial and subsequent suicide by hemlock. And certainly Confucius offers us many truths from a position of relative comfort.

alright, i'm a little more sober and able to deal with all this lol.

cam, i'm not saying that good only comes from bad situations. i'm saying that a lot of good has come from bad situations.

usually the people who argue with me on this are those who have lived pretty comfortable lives.

[ecojeanne]

i'm easily forced if one makes a good argument