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Thread: What do men in relationships really think when watching porn?

  1. #136
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    So based on the fact he isn't talking to you about it and it's because he 'cant be bothered touching you' you may as well just continue with the relationship and stop complaining that he doesn't touch you anymore.

    The issue is he isn't talking to you about this. You have a massive communication breakdown. Truth is until that changes you will continue with this issue.
    Some people are drains and some are radiators... Keep clear of the drains and hug the radiators!

  2. #137
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    We have talked but we never seem to get anywhere. He gets really angry and then i give up. Now im just too scared to say anything.

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    I reacted really badly to my bf watching porn two years ago. At the time, I thought he was cheating on me with someone (long story - turned out good though), and I was incredibly vulnerable. I literally began to hate my body. I saw flaws in everything. This may sound a little graphic, but I was upset I didn't have the perfectly small labia of women in porn, the perky "perfect" breasts (mine are slightly different sizes), etc. He was hiding it from me too.

    Now I'm coming to accept my body and not be as paranoid, but my boyfriend had a double standard. Soon after I found out he viewed porn (not sure how frequently), I went and watched The Hangover with my dad. Now, I didn't know there was going to be nudity in it. I was surprised when I saw a flat out penis on screen. Lo and behold, my boyfriend finds out the content of the movie and gets beyond angry. Honestly, what is up with that?

    While I cannot be completely sure, I think my boyfriend has come to realize how much porn hurt me and would hurt him if I viewed it. I reacted a lot worse than I should have, honestly, but I was so down already. Luckily, I feel more mature than to let "sluts" get me feeling inadequate.

    With the double standard mentioned, do some of you men care if your gf/wife/etc views naked men?

  4. #139
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    Quote Originally Posted by xkittin View Post
    I went and watched The Hangover with my dad. Now, I didn't know there was going to be nudity in it. I was surprised when I saw a flat out penis on screen. Lo and behold, my boyfriend finds out the content of the movie and gets beyond angry. Honestly, what is up with that?

    With the double standard mentioned, do some of you men care if your gf/wife/etc views naked men?
    He is a total hypocrite. Personally, I don't care if a girl I'm dating sees other naked guys, in person or on screen. I have zero jealousy. But don't most women get much more excited by the written word - i.e. romance novels - reading about the dapper Reginald and his illicit tryst with a low-ranking but very comely scullery maid?

    I'm glad you're mature enough to stop comparing yourself physically with the "sluts" in porn. For a man, watching porn is like you going shoe shopping. To sum it up in one word: variety. Ohh, those Jimmy Choos are cute, but wait I've never seen those Manolos before! I wanna buy them all! You get the idea?

  5. #140
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yarbles View Post
    He is a total hypocrite. Personally, I don't care if a girl I'm dating sees other naked guys, in person or on screen. I have zero jealousy. But don't most women get much more excited by the written word - i.e. romance novels - reading about the dapper Reginald and his illicit tryst with a low-ranking but very comely scullery maid?

    I'm glad you're mature enough to stop comparing yourself physically with the "sluts" in porn. For a man, watching porn is like you going shoe shopping. To sum it up in one word: variety. Ohh, those Jimmy Choos are cute, but wait I've never seen those Manolos before! I wanna buy them all! You get the idea?

    First of all I don't like romance novels they are boring. I wouldn't read them if I wasn't in a relationship. My man is enough for me not to look at porn, read romance novels, I don't even look at other men. They don't interest me.

    Also you can't compare porn to shopping for shoes. I don't get turned on by them.

    I understand my bf will still look at women and appreciate their beauty and stuff, but what I don't understand is him looking at porn. I am very sexual and obviously that will never be enough for him. I do alot of the tuff they do in porns and enjoy it.
    You just have to put up and shut up.

    He tells me I'm beautiful but I don't believe him. He looks at all these women doing these sexual acts and it makes me feel second rate and uncomfortable. I feel like if someone that looked like those women asked him for sex he'd say yes and forget about me. If you need variety then why wouldn't you go off with anyone? You say porn stops you but is that really true?

    It isn't about maturity. It is about insecurity. Feeing so insecure about the way you look and feel. Like, 'Why am I not enough, when he is enough for me?' Also why do something that hurts someone you love, just for a cheap thrill?

    Obviously one women isn't enough for a man.

  6. #141
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    Quote Originally Posted by tremolo View Post
    I just find it disappointing that men seem to need it from women other than their partner - whether in images or in person.
    How many guys are willing to turn down a live woman for porn on a consistent basis?

  7. #142
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    Again like I said...it's not the women they are looking at in porn....it's the act of sex....they get turned on watching the sex. I personally like it too......it stimulates sexual energy.

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    It is what it is....if you don't like it date women.

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    Quote Originally Posted by smackie9 View Post
    Again like I said...it's not the women they are looking at in porn....it's the act of sex....they get turned on watching the sex. I personally like it too......it stimulates sexual energy.
    If that is true then why do some of the guys say they need to see variety?

  10. #145
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    Quote Originally Posted by Katmeow85 View Post
    If that is true then why do some of the guys say they need to see variety?
    How many times have you watched your favorite movie?
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

  11. #146
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    probably over 100 times

  12. #147
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    Quote Originally Posted by Katmeow85 View Post
    probably over 100 times
    Do you ever watch any other movies?
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

  13. #148
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    yeah but this has nothing to do with watching naked women and getting turned on by it.

  14. #149
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    Quote Originally Posted by Katmeow85 View Post
    If that is true then why do some of the guys say they need to see variety?

    If it wasn't about the act of sex then they wouldn't bother to watch porn.

    I like to see variety too.....you can't tell me you can only eat bologna sandwiches day in, day out for the rest of your life and not get tired of it......that's bull crap. Girls tend to go through this "He is all I need" at the beginning of most relationships, but when you have been in it for a long time it will wear off.

    Like I always say to a BF, you can look at the menu all you want as long as you don't place an order.

    My old man tells me about the cute watresses he saw at a restaraunt where he was installing security cameras or mentions how cute a coworkers GF is......that just tells me he's still a sexually healthy man.....and I like that.
    Last edited by smackie9; 08-07-11 at 04:25 AM.

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    watching porn is morally wrong
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