How direct?

[Chlorine]

I have noticed that men and women often run into communication problems. Heck, those of the same gender also run into problems too. Misconstrued words, misleading e-mails, misinterpreted actions etc etc

The "sender - message - receiver" model just doesn't seem to work, ESPECIALLY in relationships.

So how direct should one be? Do you tell your partner what you think? Or do you tell your partner what you want them to hear? How do we avoid all the fog????

[artyemi]

this reminds me of a comic strip i saw yesterday.

a man is asking the woman "are you mad at me?"
there's another bubble over his head "i know she's made at me."

the woman says "i'm not mad at you"

the man asks again "are you sure you're not mad at me?"

the woman says "no, i'm not mad at you"
there's another bubble over her head "why is he asking me? he already knows i'm mad at him"

Chlorine- I like to be very direct. Sometimes, I can be very direct that it seems that I say can be mean. I expect that same kind of directness even if it will hurt me. And I like to truth in small things and big things. A lot of time, I read on here people wondering if their SO feel a certain way. I just feel that it could be so easily solved by just asking the person in the first place.

[bluesummer]

You are asking a question that people have been trying to answer for eons, and I don't think there will ever be a direct answer to this. Because, fact is, men and women both communicate in different ways. Not only that, but each individual also communicates in their own unique way. So the likelihood of there just being a base cut-and-dried way of communicating with everyone on a whole is very small.

Let the confusion live on.....

[artyemi]

Yeah, but it doesn't have to, if we make an effort to communicate in a way that the other person would understand how much better things would be.

[Tone]

I'm with Arty, I like to be direct, I don't like beatin around the bush.

[Only-virgins]

I would just be direct and honest.

[shh!]

I am pretty direct and honest, which is sometimes called "blunt" or "brutally honest". I do not see much value in skirting around an issue.

In my experience, people who are emotional thinkers tend to beat around the bush more in an effort to avoid hurting someone's feelings because they wrongly assume everyone is like them. People who think in a more logical way tend to be more direct, because they communicate in the way they prefer to receive information.

[artyemi]

In my experience, people who are emotional thinkers tend to beat around the bush more in an effort to avoid hurting someone's feelings because they wrongly assume everyone is like them. People who think in a more logical way tend to be more direct, because they communicate in the way they prefer to receive information.

I find it hard to deal with emotional thinkers sometimes because of this whole skirting around this issue thing. It annoys me. Sure, I know some comments will piss the heck out of people, but it's better that the information is given so as not to cause confusion later on. Clarify now. Clarity later.

[shh!]

I find it hard to deal with emotional thinkers sometimes because of this whole skirting around this issue thing. It annoys me. Sure, I know some comments will piss the heck out of people, but it's better that the information is given so as not to cause confusion later on. Clarify now. Clarity later.

I think this is a symptom of a society that says we should all feel good ALL the time (regardless of how stupid you are or how you have created your own problems). If you don't feel good all the time, then someone has been "mean" to you or you should be medicated. Utter stupidity! Give me my whiskey straight up, thank you!

[artyemi]

I think this is a symptom of a society that says we should all feel good ALL the time (regardless of how stupid you are or how you have created your own problems). If you don't feel good all the time, then someone has been "mean" to you or you should be medicated. Utter stupidity! Give me my whiskey straight up, thank you!

utter stupidity! ha! partially because we like to blame other people for our problems so we can sit around and feel even more pity for ourselves.

when i really think about stuff i see that nothing is really mean. we are all motivated to serve our ego first. it's all fair.

but be honest and direct, that's all.

[Tone]

Girls are so cute.

And I agree with both of you.