(This is long post so bare with me)
I am..or I think I am with this girl with over 3.5 years now. We had our issues left and right and but Aug 9th of this year we broke up. Things were said and we had no contact for 3 weeks. I deleted her from everything but over the course of those weeks she found means to contact me saying things like, "do you want your stuff back" We got back together Sept6th after talking it out. I thought we were good and I thought we pull through. Every other week in September and even October she was not talking to me. Then October 15th I got a random message from her stating “I cant do this not more…pretending I am fine when I am not” So I showed up at her job, not to pick a fight but to demand an explanation. We spent 3 hrs talking and she mentioned that the breakup is still haunting her because of how family member are drilling at her about if I broke up once I do it again.

She want me to wait for her. My thing is this… Should I continue to try? Should I meet up with her talk to her etc? Should I ask how long we wants me to “wait”…what is the maximum time one can wait? I do still love her that’s why I to back together with her. Not mentioning the fact that there was reason to the break up to which she still feels like its irrelevant. It is what I said in it. Anyway within the 3hrs she said that she still loved me and didn’t want to break up. She wanted time to sort things out and to have me wait for her. She wants to get a place to move into and she “feels” she would have her head clear to know what she wants. Though the going from grandma, to coworkers house to meeting with this dude..she not seeing me..so I don’t know where she need to sort everything out.I wouldn’t mind that but I told her she had to show me something that she cares.

It’s not her doing whatever then coming back when she feels like to talk to me. That’s the issue I’m having. I don’t know what I am right now…are we still together but taking a break. Am I an ex, friend with benefit or being played?I want to believe her but cant believe words, even if she was still talking to the guy while we were together in Sept which she claims nothing was happening.

Update**

SO on October 18th she messaged me..but its not the love type of message its like I am a stranger in these messages. Where as before out break up and when we got back together it was, "Hey honey, how is work, I miss you" to now..

her: Hi
me: Hello
me: hows your day
her: good on my way to my mom house
me: things well over there?
(At this point I get no message)

Then 3 consecutive days she messages me this is how the last one played out

Her: Hey
me: hello how are you?
her: sickly vomiting
me: thinking to much huh
her; maybe
me: thinking about me makes you sick? <---(at this point I was annoyed with her responses)
her: how so?
me: idk you didn't say yes your no to the question
her. No <--(I think she was BSing)
me: its pretty cold today, you dress warm?
her: No
me: Why not, what about to your winter coat from last year
her; doesn't fit
her: U <---(she meant this to the "are you warm question"
me: ok you need to find your sweaters
me: I am dressed warm as you said last week, I am warm and fuzzy lol <---(i was trying my hand at a joke to see if she would comment back..at this point she didn't text back)

So people of the forums I need help...Should I text her, or should I leave it be. I want to wait but I need someone to wait on not someone who just wants to do whatever. I been asking anyone who is willing to lend an ear. Friend tells me to pull off the bandaid and let the bleeding scar heal. Others tell me she is confused. Some tell me she is bored and needs space. I want her back but if it means that she wont be happy then whats the point. Why tell me to wait and promise she will come back and yet her actions aren't of someone who says that.