My boyfriend says he loves me but doesn't make any effort?

[jasmin94]

So me and my boyfriend have been going out for about 2 years. We were really close friends first and he liked me for a long time. It turned into a kind of friends with benefits and we loved that we could have this relationship and no one was getting involved. It finally got out and we properly got together and ever since it has been very up and down. We are mad about each other and think so highly of each other but im not someone who just dates for the sake of it or like to waste time so i dont see the point in falling deeper and deeper into this relationship if it isnt going to be anything serious. The problem is that he never really puts effort in to show me how he feels about me. We never go out anywhere and rarely see each other without anyone else being with us. i spend a lot of time with his family and stay at his house a lot but he doesnt put in any effort with my family. He never takes me anywhere even when i ask (which is rare) and he never sets aside any time to give me his attention. He does work a lot and i know he just wants to relax when he gets time off but i know when i get free time i still want to go and do something with him. I know he is reluctant to get into something strictly serious where he spends most of his time with me and less time with his friends and family because he did that with his ex and lost all of the people closest to him. But after this time i thought he would start to put effort in for me. He says he wants to change for me and him and everyone he knows and i know (because we have joint friends and im close to his family) tell me that im the best thing to happen to him. ive found it really hard constantly holding out hope that he will do something for me and constantly feeling disappointed so ive spoke to him about it and after a lot of discussions of him not understanding and me not understand we finally had a civil conversation and in the end he says all i want is to be with you but only you can make this decision. ive been struggling with ages for it but in the end i said i think we just need a little time. a little break from each other to calm down and if he really wants to be with me then he will really have to try. he said that he thought that was a good idea. The next day he then text me though and has text me the rest of this week. all being light hearted but sweet. I just want to know what he could possibly thinking and if there is anything i can do to make this work because we both want it but we dont want one of us to be unhappy. Any advice pleasee????
Thank you!
(and sorry for the essay)

[purple_roses]

Idk.. It just doesn't seem like he's going to change much. You've already tried talking to him and it doesn't work. Make sure to really tell him exactly what u want and need from him. Exactly. Men don't analyze and think as deeply as we do, so keep it simple so he understands. If still no change, I'd quit wasting time. It doesn't sound like u are very happy and there's lots of guys with more free time then this guy.