Stalker/Molester... How to Respond?

[Phozen]

Hello all,
Firstly, I apologize if this topic is in the wrong section. I'm at a lost where to put something like this, but I really would like to get some basic help and feedback.

A few days ago, my girlfriend was offered a ride by a man that had been frequenting her workplace and casual flirting with her. That night, he took her to some street, touched her leg, and kissed her against her own will. Because she was able to fake a cellphone call, she got home safely. The man is continuing to frequent her workplace as if nothing had ever happened. I don't know if he is continuing physical advances, but I want to do something about it. As of right now, I am attempting to get pictures of his car, and maybe even him at the workplace (he doesn't know me/has never seen me). She doesn't want to involve the police yet since neither of us have any clue how the police would respond without sufficient proof. We are both 18, if that is important. What should/could I do to stop this individual?

[Exeter19]

she should contact the police, sexual assault of any kind and stalking are both illegal criminal activities, if he is going into her work someone will know his name, right, find out that way from her workplace and then go to the police. what is she waiting for to be abducted, raped or murdered? this is what the police are there for, call them, they can find out who he is for you if you can't.

[Phozen]

Although the stalker frequents the workplace, he doesn't work there; as a result, his name is unfortunately unknown...

I'm a little skeptical (mainly due to the lack of interacting with the police in general but) that the police will be able to act efficiently on only a name. Even if I do manage to get the license plate of the car (which I think I can obtain), would that and a simple testimony be sufficient? I don't mean to argue with you; I just want to be sure and not make things worse by not having enough evidence.

[dontaskme]

File a police report and give a description of the guy. That's all you can do for now. At least the precinct will have it on record that your friend is being stalked. The officers cannot do anything at this point specially that your friend did not report the unwelcome advances made by the guy but if he does it again or threaten to do it again, then she can ask for the court for a restraining order.

Stop acting like a detective and let the authority handle this before you and your friend gets hurt in the process!

[vashti]

He probably thought that her getting into a car with him was evidence that she was interested. Your girlfriend needs to be smarter. She needs to tell him that she is not interested in him, and wants him to stop hanging around her workplace.

[michelle23]

She should contact the police. They can give him a warning

[Wakeup]

Although the stalker frequents the workplace, he doesn't work there; as a result, his name is unfortunately unknown...

Your girlfriend got a ride from a guy whose name she doesn't even know?

I think your girlfriend is lying to you about the details. What do you mean the name is unknown? How could that be?

I'm a little skeptical (mainly due to the lack of interacting with the police in general but) that the police will be able to act efficiently on only a name. Even if I do manage to get the license plate of the car (which I think I can obtain), would that and a simple testimony be sufficient? I don't mean to argue with you; I just want to be sure and not make things worse by not having enough evidence.

.. and I'm a little skeptical about your girlfriend's explanation about all of this. Why would she flirt with a guy she doesn't even know and then get in the car with him when she doesn't even know his name?

Is your gf wanting you to do all this sleuthing or is she asking you to just forget it?

SHE doesn't want to involve the police because neither of you know how they'll respond? Well, then phone them and tell them the details and ask what your options are with regards to this guy.... run that by your gf (she that does not know his name but got in his car) and see if she's willing to at least call and get your options.

[lovebroken]

Your first reply to you on this was correct, the police are to be involved, she claimed he sexually assaulted her, you said "against her will " that is more than enough to call the police, then add he is stalking her place of business. Some important facts seem to be excluded here for some reason.

[Phozen]

Hello all,

I apologize for some obscure information. Firstly, my girlfriend is not responding positively to these intrusive flirts by the stalker. I'm told he continually does it despite her apathetic responses. Secondly, I believe she knows his first name, and I haven't asked because I feel that I'm able to get it later when I submit evidence. He offered her a ride because she assumed he was a regular customer since he showed up often; however, I, as well as she, do believe that getting into his car was extremely foolish (she got in because she usually walks home after work and she was offered a ride).

Most of the responses seem to be geared towards just notifying the police immediately. I only feel that doing so wouldn't result in a satisfactory result (getting the guy to stop permanently with the help of the law) since I don't have much proof besides testimony from my girlfriend. Nevertheless, I'm am slowly starting to feel that I should get my options with the police (I'm only afraid that it would just add oil to the fire... somehow). Thank you all for the responses. I will run it by my girlfriend.

[hoxtonchris]

sorry mate i think shes 2 timing you ,i think she invented the story incase it reached your ears that she was seeing someone at ,after,or during work hours.hope im wrong tho.but if i am she is then realy being pestered isnt she .oh dear what a dillema

[Wakeup]

Hello all,

I apologize for some obscure information. Firstly, my girlfriend is not responding positively to these intrusive flirts by the stalker. I'm told he continually does it despite her apathetic responses. Secondly, I believe she knows his first name, and I haven't asked because I feel that I'm able to get it later when I submit evidence. He offered her a ride because she assumed he was a regular customer since he showed up often; however, I, as well as she, do believe that getting into his car was extremely foolish (she got in because she usually walks home after work and she was offered a ride).

Most of the responses seem to be geared towards just notifying the police immediately. I only feel that doing so wouldn't result in a satisfactory result (getting the guy to stop permanently with the help of the law) since I don't have much proof besides testimony from my girlfriend. Nevertheless, I'm am slowly starting to feel that I should get my options with the police (I'm only afraid that it would just add oil to the fire... somehow). Thank you all for the responses. I will run it by my girlfriend.

So... in otherwords, your girlfriend has no idea what you're doing and she has told you not to contact the police likely because she is encouraging his attention and doesn't want you to do anything to interrupt the flow.

Something definitely is not adding up here and you'd do well to tell your girlfriend what you're up to. If she is that concerned about him then she should go to her employer and tell him/her what happened and to make sure that this guy isn't just hanging around to bother her. There is absolutely NO evidence that he is stalking her or that he kissed her against her will. The cops won't likely do anything but you should call them yourself and get that confirmed so that you stop your little detective game and tell your girlfriend to take the proper actions with the help of her employer.