What can i can to help the both of us?

[FatezDestiny]

We have know each other for a few months now. We had always been real close friends and we acted almost as if we're together. He told me recently that he has feelings for me for quite a while now but he said that he wasn't ready to get into a relationship,to hold up the responsibilities and commitments. He had a really clingy and controlling girlfriend previously and he was sort of traumatized. He told me that he'll ask me when he's ready. I thought that it was okay to wait for him. After the confession, we were still really close, he cares more about me and i got myself falling deeper for him. Call it the girl'siinstinct, he tends to hold my hand for a while and drop them (point at something/use his mobile phone etc). I really don't know how long do i have to wait for him to be ready. I am really afraid that he'll bail out on this as time goes by and i fall deeper and deeper for him. Finally he realised that i was acting differently and kept on asking me what was on my mind. I was emotional at the moment and decided to tell him what's on my mind. He told me to stop waiting for him as he won't know when is he going to ever be readied. He didn't want to hurt me and said that i should not wait for him anymore. I was so hurt that had asked me to let go. It hurts me so much that he asked me to stop when he too have feelings for me. I know that this is hurting him as much as it's hurting me. I don't know how to talk to him anymore. I don't want us to stop talking. Why do we have to stop? We were so close and we have such feelings for each other. What can I do now? What can I do to mend to situation? I shouldn't have told him. I risked everything by telling him what i thought and I'm losing everything with him. Please, tell me what can i do... What is he thinking? Is thwre anyway that i can change his mind?

[woody]

Okay. So you confessed you want things to get a little more serious with him?; and he needs more space and time to get his head back on straight before bringing you into his World fully due to past 'stuff'. Sounds like he wants to be in the right frame of mind/ heal from his past before embarking on a future.

I'm confused though. You say things were good right? You two get along grandly, have/had good times.
When you told him what was on your mind, may I ask what did you tell him?
Without knowing more, I'm guessing in the dark here. but may I say, if things were happening naturally, the times were good, why change it? Why the need for a label so to speak? Was it not enough to simply spend time enjoying one another? Sometimes dear lady, we must sit back and let things happen naturally.
I understand your concern of being worried he'll sit on the fence for too long and never take the plunge so to speak, but again, I ask, if things were going well, what's the rush?
Can you tell me more?

[FatezDestiny]

I told him that I was wondering why was he so afraid of that stopped him from moving forward. He said that I would only understand if I went through it myself. He said that he have no idea how long he needs to get over it and said that i should stop waiting. He said that he's not worth my time waiting. I knew that there's no need for rush and I am pretty fine with waiting for him to be ready. I know that I shouldn't have told him something like that. I just want to do something to make it right now. I am afraid that he has already decided to push me away now... I just want to be back to those days before this incident.

[woody]

I disagree with your doubts regarding your question about why he is afraid of moving forward. This is a justifiable question i.m.o and one need not feel regret in asking such.

But aside from that, your now wondering how to get back to what you two were sharing, which sounds like a good friendship that your heart is telling you could lead to more; yet after to you shared your concerns and as you sense he's been pushing you away a little, you need to find a way back??? Am I close? I have my tea and time so here goes..

Well, i'd say give him what he needs; a little bit of space/time to put things into perspective; he will miss you as you he.
With some time, (could be a week, could be longer) write him and tell him you miss hanging out. Because you do . Just be honest. CAn't go wrong with the truth.
If he's enduring his own form of a self pity party (which we all do sometimes before we crack our own self whip and smarten up), once he starts to come out of it, he'll need all the genuine support possible.
You really like this man right? YOu can see a future but right now he's too wounded to be fair on any relationship. So be his silent support partner; no need to come on strong because even with a simple glance, a look in the eyes, he'll know your there.
Your not waiting, your not expecting anything; you just miss his companionship. Keep it simple because it sounds like he couldn't handle anything but and well hey, these things should be simple, run naturally, no pressure right.
I don't think you 've lost him. It just sounds like the man needs some reflective space. If you truly care (and sounds like you do), exercise your compassion and be his silent pillar of strength.

But take heed. REmember this: you must come first. It is very romantic and gallant to take that decision to stand idle so to speak; but, don't sell yourself short. Hold on, i'm not saying this right. How can I say this? Stand up for yourself first and foremost. Sounds like you've got allot to give; just make sure your appreciated. Does that make any sense? idk.

If you feel the unjust outweighs the just, well, time to re evaluate is all i'm saying.
good luck