Q. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
A. It’s ok, he woke up.
Q. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
A. It’s ok, he woke up.
There are millions of people in the world, but it all comes down to one...
www.strangetogether.com
Where do animals go when their tails fall off?
The retail store.
It's not what you have, it's what you do with what you have that matters.
What was Forrest Gumps password? 1forrest1
Q: Why do bicycles fall over?
A: Because they are two-tired!
Q: Why was the belt arrested?
A: Because it held up some pants!
Q: Why did Billy go out with a prune?
A: Because he couldn't find a date!
Q: Why did the picture go to jail?
A: Because it was framed.
Why did the doughnut shop close?
The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
It's not what you have, it's what you do with what you have that matters.
My sex life! Err, here's a real one:
Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!"
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: "Im sure there are some stupid students over here!!"
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny you think you're stupid?"
Little Johnny: "No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone..."
"1,2,3,4.....The highway's jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power-drive!"
"Glory days/Well, they'll pass you by/Glory days"
A Bear walks into a bar and says to the barman.
"A pint of................................................ ....lager please"
And the barman replied.
"What's with the big pause".
Q. What did the hat say to the hat rack?
A. You stay here. I'll go on a head.
Q. What does a nosey pepper do?
A. Get jalapeño business.
Whats brown and sticky?
A stick
Q. Why are ghosts bad liars?
A. Because you can see right through them
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians?
One hundred people who don't do dick.
Why did the moron going to the airport turn around and go home?
Because he saw the sign that said "Airport Left".
Okay so Sherlock Holmes and Watson were lying out in the woods and Holmes turns to Watson and asks him what he sees. Watson replies, " I see stars, the great abyss of the unknown, the cosmos that surround us and i'm struck by the all the wonder, the beauty and realize how small I am comparatively," he goes on and on and on about the planets, the majestic infinite space, on and on when finally, in the dark of the night Sherlock turns to Watson and says, "Watson you Fool, someone has stolen our TENT!!"
long winded joke but if told right (which I probably didn't do) it works well.
What do you call Swedish immigrants?
Artificial Swedeners.