Is he flirty or just friendly? (he's German)

[awfulme]

I'm female, 50 years old, live in the US and have a serious crush on someone I came across online, he's 34 and lives in another country.

We have never met in person but we connected online over a common interest over a year ago. First I started emailing him about our common interest and he eagerly replied, very friendly, etc. I would comment on and praise his work. I would ask him for his advice on projects I'm working on and he would give me some good feedback. He always replies, even if he doesn't get to it right away.

A couple months ago he started following me on a FB page I manage (so he could get updates on my project more easily). Then he friended me on FB, which of course I accepted. I think maybe he did that to find out more about me out of curiosity.

We share a lot of the same interests, and it is freaky at times. He often makes it a point to tell me (with a winky face ;-) ) that he shares the same interest or thought, etc. He also does consistently punctuate his messages with lots of :-) and ;-). A few weeks ago I recorded a little voice message for him and emailed it, because I'm just not ready to actually talk to him on the phone (and he hasn't talked about calling). I included a little inside joke with it. He replied that 'it was nice to listen to'.

We got talking (messaging) one day and he said he was planning on visiting the U.S. in the future (not sure near or far future) and he said he would stop by and say hi. I told him that would be very cool and was looking forward to it.

I'm having the worst time figuring out if he's shyly flirting with me or not. He is German (I've read that German men are lousy at flirting.). It's hard for me to get a reading on what his intentions are, obviously because it's all online. I could drop an innuendo or two and see how he responds. What do you think?
I'm sort of afraid of it backfiring on me and he ends up thinking I'm just a weird older lady and possibly alienating him. I value his friendship, but can't stop thinking about him obsessively.

I would appreciate any ideas or advice, thank you.

[aprilshowers]

I live in Hamburg and believe me the German man are lousy at flirting. The german guys though are very good at being friends and have absolutely no problem in being in platonic relationships. Does he email you a lot etc? If he does that is a good sign because the germans (in my opinion and I love them) do not waste time or emotions on people they are not really interested in.

[awfulme]

I live in Hamburg and believe me the German man are lousy at flirting. The german guys though are very good at being friends and have absolutely no problem in being in platonic relationships. Does he email you a lot etc? If he does that is a good sign because the germans (in my opinion and I love them) do not waste time or emotions on people they are not really interested in.

Thanks for your reply.
Well, he does not email me a lot, our contact is mostly through another website we both met on and also facebook, and I usually am the one who says 'hi' first. Though when he does reply it's like we are old friends starting up where we left off, it is kind of cool in that respect.

Lately he has cooled off a bit on the contact, so who knows what's going on. I'm going to give it a rest and then in a few weeks say "Hi, I'm just checking to see how you're coming along with your project" which he loves to talk about. He does occasionally slip in some personal details (as so do I), so I'm taking that as a sign that he trusts me perhaps.

I don't know what to make of this, I think the slow approach may be best. I mainly want to have a friendship, but do admit the possibility of flirting is always fun.

I have checked up on him online and from all I can tell he is who he says he is. I may propose a skype session in a few weeks and see what he says.

:-)

[dontaskme]

What are you trying to get out of this beside the flirting?

[awfulme]

What are you trying to get out of this beside the flirting?

I'm not sure I want anything beyond that, not sure I could handle it if it went beyond that.
Flirting is safe, fun...not into the drama.

[aprilshowers]

PM if you would like and I can see if I can verify him from here LOL

[awfulme]

That would be interesting, I may take you up on that. :-)

[pseudosooz]

awfulme getting her cougar on, you go girl!

[awfulme]

awfulme getting her cougar on, you go girl!

LOL! You made my day, thanks for that!

[pseudosooz]

..........