Can I get a male perspective here?

[Charlyn]

Hey guys,

This year has been the relationship roller coaster. I broke up with my finance of 2,5 years. He left me for my room mate from college. I didn't date for a while. Because of the long time, I am a little out of practice.

About 4 months after the break up, my friend introduced me to Tinder. I met someone via Tinder. ( No judgement, please!) There was immediate chemistry. We can talk for hours and laugh at the same things. Because I really to wanted to get laid and I really didn't care what would come of it, we slept together and he left. ( I am honest. I felt empowered and satisfied. The sex is amazing.) The following night he showed back up on my door step after work. He is a doctor, so it was kind of late. The next week, the same thing. We spent the evening in my apartment, drinking and talking. He even spent the night. However, he got up early in the morning, like someone was chasing him. He knew that my step dad would come over later in the day to fix something. He told me to keep me updated. We texted the whole day. I stopped it, because he told me that he "can't see me as his girlfriend. Because his heart and gut is telling him." Because I was aware not to ignore phrases like that, I stopped it before I would fall.

He then has gone cold for two weeks. Because I thought he died, got hit by a bus or something, I wrote a text message. He was delighted to hear from me. We sexted for 3 days. I was so excited to see him, that I set up a count down online. ( I am not gonna lie here) He tried to see me earlier in the week end. But I couldn't, since I had promised my friend to babysit. In an attempt to not make it seem cheap, I cooked for him. He stood behind me in the kitchen the whole time. I was nervous. After dinner, we kissed for 15 Minutes. He didn't want to sleep with me right away, which considering the messages, was surprising. After sex we talked. I realized that I cared about him. Well, guess what? He told me, he likes me and cares about me. He even went so far that he told me that " I am everything he wants in a woman, but he doesn't have the crazy excitement and can't- live- without- you- feeling".

The following day my friend got in my head. She told me that he need to write to him what I feel and that it needed to stop. So, I wrote to him that I want more. He told me that he is sorry. But he doesn't feel the same way. But he wants to see me again as friends.

On Friday last week a got really bad news. I just wanted to feel something. So I wrote to him, if he wants to come "see" me. He couldn't because he had to work. Later I would find out that he wasn't lying. (Thanks to my friend's child.) I told him that I would leave town for a while and that I wanted to see him one last time. So we met up last Wednesday, I met him in a bar. It was like a meeting my best friend. But the bar tender thought he were a couple. I have never touched him in public. When I touched him, our thoughts immediately went there...

He walked me home. He asked me if it was awkward. I told him that I don't know how I feel. That the last time I have seen him, I was nervous like a teenager in love and this time I was happy. I told him that I was just happy. I told him that there are days I can really see us together. But there are days where I don't know where I am just not sure. Awkwardly, when I said "I can really see us together" there was a positive atmosphere change. I kissed him in a dark alley. Taken by the attraction and the excitement, I whispered in his ear: "I wish I could keep my hands off of you...I have never been so attracted to anyone...it is crazy." His response was: "I have been thinking about nothing else for the last hour..."

Again, we wound up in bed. Again, it was amazing and fun. It really is fun and satisfying for the both of us.

I texted him the following day something sexual. Because honestly, that was all what I could think about all day. Yesterday, I had a situation where I had to think about him. We had a discussion about politics. He is more on the liberal site. However, I encountered a situation where I realized that maybe he is right. Again, I wrote that to him. Immediate response. A bit confused. But immediate response. He told me that he was going to see his mom. I wished them both a nice Saturday. He thanked me and noted that he barely sees her. I jokingly wrote back to him: " Well. If you ever have something to tell me, you know where to find me." For that I didn't get a response.

I am confused. I want to walk. My head is telling me that I should walk. But my heart is already in it. What is this? Can this go somewhere? Should I walk? I really want a full blown relationship. But I can't walk just yet.

[Archie]

So you're both sexually attracted to one another and you have feelings for him but he, on the other hand, does not. It's great for him, because you're not tieing him down, well, you can't obviously, but it sucks for you as except for sex, you're not getting anything else out of it. Or maybe that is all you're after at this moment?


To me, it seems like you're ****buddies, meet up for the casual sex now and then and come morning - you split up. If I were you I'd try to figure out my priorities, what is it that You want right now, are you ready for a relationship or do you want adventure? What do you gain from this relationship and is he the kind of man you'd want to be together with?