open relationships/Polyamory...

[Ice-girl92]

So I've been with my bf for over a year now, and I have always been polyamorous(Love multiple partners) but I'm not sure if he is so we have been in a monogamus relationship... I'm feeling that this just is'nt enough for me.

So aside from the fact that we are both BDSM'ers and Switches, I need more but I am a little bit afraid of asking him if polygamy is possible for him because I don't want to hurt him. Really do love him and I really do want him to be my primary partner... any advice?

[Wakeup]

My question to you is:

Have you gotten yourself a job and have you asked him to marry you? (per your other thread which you've yet to address)

Your sexual preferences are just another problem in your life with this man.

[lovebroken]

If he isn't agreeable to polyamorous relationships, and feels forced to go along for you it will kill your relationship, it might be better to find a partner into the same things as you right off, so no need for either partner to feel compromised.

[Ice-girl92]

Wakeup, Yes I have gotten a job, and a pretty well paying of that... and I decided, after looking into my own heart and head that I am not ready to marry, even tho I am pretty sure he is the one.

And he was the first to mention that I was poly before, so I guess what I'm really wondering is, did he mention it because he is worried or because he acctually wants a poly relationship himself?

and even if I feel this is not enough for me that feeling may also be because I was really bored of beind alone and staying home while he was at work..

[Difference]

Personally I don't see what her having a job has to do with this.

Ice-Girl92, you should perhaps try asking him why he said it? and/or asking him weather he is interested in going poly with you.

[Wakeup]

^^^ Well if you read her posting history you'll be in the loop there, "Difference."

Ice-Girl. Why don't you sit down with him and ask him the question you ask in post No. 4 where you say this:

And he was the first to mention that I was poly before, so I guess what I'm really wondering is, did he mention it because he is worried or because he acctually wants a poly relationship himself?

? Its him you need that answer from, not a forum board full of strangers.

[Difference]

good advice you are getting from Wakeup here... you really should be talking to him...

[nico88]

I yet again agree with wakeup. You need to talk to him about it. If you're feeling unsatisfied in your relationship than that's gunna cause a lot of other problems to surface.

Just sit him down and ask if. If you two want different things than maybe it's time to end it.

[Ice-girl92]

Update: I spoke with him and he told me that he was feeling that in terms of our BDSM roles(both switches) he was feeling that we were, neither of us getting the needs so we decided to be more active during play parties with others(not have sex, but get the needs out, and thus go back to being happy together