MY choices...Miserable and guilty or Guilty and miserable

[BikerAL]

Wow I never thought I'd be down this road.

Been married for 11 years together 15. Last few years we just grew apart. I went my way she went hers.

I met a woman while on vacation alone and just exchanged numbers. No physical relationship. She lived in another country. What started as just friendly texting soon grew into a deep love like I've never had before.
Eventually I go see her and the physical relationship is more intense then anything I've ever experienced. I'm 49 BTW.

I decide to leave my wife and go and tell her I am in love with someone else and I need to leave. Over the next 7 months I live for a while with new woman then the guilt and remorse of leaving my wife sets in and I go back to her.
I went back and forth at least 4-5 times now. When I'm with my new GF it's hard to be happy when I feel so guilty about leaving my wife. She is completely devastated.

Now I feel guilty for leaving my GF and I am miserable. My last reasoning for going back to my wife is that since GF is only 7 months relationship it will be easier to get over.

I wanted to make this short to get as many replies as possible but I am open to answer any questions.

Thanks for any replies.

[michelle23]

How can you say you have never loved like this and all that crap? Your infatuated and in lust with your affair partner. Nothing more.

But your wife doesn't deserve how much you have hurt her. What you have done is cruel and selfish. To stab her in the back once would be too much but to bounce back and fourth so many times is just plain nasty and you really dont have one shred of empathy or understanding for this woman who has given you 15 years of her life. What a waste

Let her go and stop torturing her. She can do so much better and she will soon realize that if you leave and stay away this time. Give her time to adapt and she will be fine

[BikerAL]

Thanks for your thoughts. I'm glad you were able to understand this whole mess so fully with only my short description of what has happened.

[michelle23]

Im not sure if your being sarcastic/defensive but your situation is no different. We have seen it 100 times and there is no excuse for what you have done no matter what the circumstances

did anyone ever tell you that you are supposed to end one relationship fully before starting another. As doctor phil says "common sense is just not common anymore"

[dontaskme]

They should both dump you you miserable piece of s**t. You have no cojones!

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Neither of these women deserve a guy who's got no fukcing balls to choose and make up his mind as to what he wants in life.

[BikerAL]

Thank you both for your replies. It is very helpful information. I am glad to see this site has it's share of PhD's in Cvntology.
I now realize my biggest mistake is giving a Fvck. I feel much better now. My cojones are back now. I was acting like a fvcking woman for a while.

So fvck you you fvcking cvnts. Hope someone leaves you again and cheats on you with your mom and sister.

[dontaskme]

^^^Lol this guy.

[Wakeup]

Thank you both for your replies. It is very helpful information. I am glad to see this site has it's share of PhD's in Cvntology.
I now realize my biggest mistake is giving a Fvck. I feel much better now. My cojones are back now. I was acting like a fvcking woman for a while.

So fvck you you fvcking cvnts. Hope someone leaves you again and cheats on you with your mom and sister.

Oh, al.... you smoothie you.

I was going to say why feel guilty? Both women are stupid enough to keep you around as you dip your scholong into both warm wet places to masturbate so carry on Mister.

[Yanky]

Who is it that you think you are?

If I was your wife, I would have blocked contact with you after walking out the first time.

You think you should be nurtured by two women at the same time not caring about whether you're tormenting your wife by putting her through such filth? Behind her back until you shove it in her face one day that you've been in LUST with some other woman secretly!?

How the do you think your wife feels? She must be an emotional wreck, and I'm shocked that she isn't in therapy every day for what you're causing after so many years of loving you.

You make a decision and stick with it like the rest of us humans, not torture your current relationship with your wife by involving some desperate slag who would probably find another set of balls to mount in a heartbeat! Considering she's OKAY WITH YOU HURTING YOUR WIFE? LMAO.

Just warning you now, you will always regret not being with your wife considering this other slag hopes that you leave your wife for her!

Dhtbydhtsdvh... I hope you go through the same **** as your wife is going through yourself one day, that way you'll never so much as consider hurting someone like this again. What was that? You wouldn't put up with it??

Grow a pair of balls you insensitive jerk.

[N_divine]

Wow I never thought I'd be down this road.

Been married for 11 years together 15. Last few years we just grew apart. I went my way she went hers.

I met a woman while on vacation alone and just exchanged numbers. No physical relationship. She lived in another country. What started as just friendly texting soon grew into a deep love like I've never had before.
Eventually I go see her and the physical relationship is more intense then anything I've ever experienced. I'm 49 BTW.

I decide to leave my wife and go and tell her I am in love with someone else and I need to leave. Over the next 7 months I live for a while with new woman then the guilt and remorse of leaving my wife sets in and I go back to her.
I went back and forth at least 4-5 times now. When I'm with my new GF it's hard to be happy when I feel so guilty about leaving my wife. She is completely devastated.

Now I feel guilty for leaving my GF and I am miserable. My last reasoning for going back to my wife is that since GF is only 7 months relationship it will be easier to get over.

I wanted to make this short to get as many replies as possible but I am open to answer any questions.

Thanks for any replies.

Holy ___!

How do you wake up every day?

What this woman is putting your wife through is absolute madness and you are allowing it to happen.

Tell the other woman to leave you alone, she obviously enjoys you believing she's god's greatest gift. She's manipulating you and your wife's vulnerability, and you are allowing your wife cop the brunt of it. You couldn't possibly be that blind?

Make up your damn mind. Your wife, like every one else here, does not deserve any of this bull. Stop, stop, stop, right here and now.

[Jasmine_87]

The only one dealing with your mess is the woman who had given you 15 years of her life. You are a selfish brat to do such a thing as this.

I sincerely hope that your wife finds a charming man and dumps your sorry behind.

[woody]

Alrighty BikerAl,

You came here, you laid it out albeit briefly and you were honest. I'm sure your not the first person that something like this has happened to.
Of course people will get up in arms upon reflection as no one would want to be in your wife's position; yet she keeps taking you back. must be love there right? Right.
But I would warn against the whole this way or that way, coming and going of issues of the heart.

I don't mean to lessen the way you feel about the new GF, but often that honeymoon stage is more (as someone said) about lust than it is about true and real love, although there are always variables and exceptions.

Can't be easy on any of you, the two ladies or yourself or any children involved; but if I could offer a little insight it would be this:
Going back to someone because you feel guilty, well, never a good idea. Your ripping yourself off and your ripping off your wife. If the love has changed, you must let her go for good so she can find someone else to move on with.

One can't be expected to wait around for someone who has given their heart to another. That's chop liver status and no one needs that right? You say you love your wife yet you've left her 3-4 times for this other lady and rather than dealing with rejection once, she has dealt with it over and over again. You need to make a choice and stick to it. If you truly love your wife but can't bare to be without this other lady?, well, let your wife go... or let the Gf go. Maybe you'll end up alone for awhile and learn a life lesson. Good women are golden and any marriage goes through stages and must be fought for. But if you can't make up your mind, for goodness sake, let your wife go because this roller coaster can' be good for her.
Yeah, you got ripped apart here. Yes, you surely did.

People are just being protective of what your wife must be going through; I hope you understand that and take it with a grain of salt.
At least you didn't sugar coat it, you were honest...

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Thank you both for your replies. It is very helpful information. I am glad to see this site has it's share of PhD's in Cvntology.
I now realize my biggest mistake is giving a Fvck. I feel much better now. My cojones are back now. I was acting like a fvcking woman for a while.

So fvck you you fvcking cvnts. Hope someone leaves you again and cheats on you with your mom and sister.

Just read this. A little harsh don't you think? Acting like a F___ing woman? Nah.
We all act like ourselves there bikerAl.

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It is not who we are when moments are good; it is who we become when moments are bad that describes our truer natures.

If your switch is so easy to flip from sincere and seemingly thoughtful to harsh, brutal and cruel, well, got some work to do there man.

classy last line there bikeral. good grief man.