Buying this and that.

[blahblah209]

I think I have a problem on my hands. I am dating somone who is 2 years younger than me. She is 16 and I am 18. I have a job and she doesn't. She does get and allowance and so much money for whatever every so often. Whenever were out I do buy her small things ike drinks and food and whatnot. She is not a small eater either. Shes not fat or anything but I don't think she realizes how much I soend on her all the time. Buying pizza and chinese and mexican and buffets and stuff gets to be expensive you know. Well she says I'm cheap cause I said I'd rather go play putt putt than to go to another citys festival when our cities festival will be soon. I spend prolly as much if not more money on her as I spen on myself. I tried explaining to her that its hard sometimes and it would be nice if we could take turns or something. I even considered paying for myself and she can pay for herself sometimes. She just gets mad and doesn't want to hear it. I cant explain it but I ned it to be fixed. I have a friend and its a femal and she tells me how she pays for stuff for her b/f all the time and she mentioned that when he bought her dinner the other day she got excited. she got excited because shes not use to it, my girlfriend on the other hand expects it because her last b/f got money from him mom all the time and he didnt care what he spent on her. What am I supposed to do How can I explain it to her without her getting mad or something? Thanks to anyone who reads this and trys to help.

PS: I also pay for movies, putt putt, dinner, pretty much everything that we do.

[mhussain]

stop paying for everything ... repeat being level headed aabout ur hard earned money ... HARD EARNED money is in no way being cheap ... and tell her that ... tell her that u like being with her , not being broke with her ... and tell her that there are some things that u cant afford ...

best of luck and be straight with her

Hussain

[sekhmet]

I was in somewhat of the same situation. What I would do if I were you is sit her down and show her how much you spend on her. To me if she is more concerned about why you're going to some crazy putt putt instead of something more enjoyable, then I suggest that she is a little spoiled and you need to explain to her what's going on. If you dont want to do that, then I would suggest showing her your bank statement. Show her how many things and add it up for her. If she takes it as something like, "Well you're just showing me this because you're a cheap skate and I need someone who can support me." Then I would have to say that you don't need someone like that.
Oh... and props... my fiance and I had the age difference and we still worked it out.
If all else fails, help her get a job and help you out. ^_^

[misombra]

stop taking her out. the more u spend on her, the more she expects it.

[Illusional]

she's just spoiled and she's taking advantage of you. why do you let her?? that is what i would really wanna know?

look at things from this angle, it's like you're dating paris hilton who has never had to work a day in her life. sad sad sad.

raverboy

[Junket]

Yeah dude don't waste your money one some chick who you most likely won't spend the rest of your life with.

Money can be better spent.

Or better saved for that matter.

[blahblah209]

shes not just some chick though. I really like her alot and we have been together for a while...Almost my longest relationship. About the putt putt (it seemes like you dint know what this is Miniture golf..Ithing. we both chose to go there cause we thought it would be fun which it was and I didnt minhd paying because I had money out of my ass. But sometimes the river runs dry you know. I meen I rtried to talk to her aboput it yesterday and it didn't go well except she said something about she likes me even if I am cheap. I didnt like that to much but it better than just saying I should pay cause I'm the guy. But I blieve if she invites me somewhere she should either pay for us or herself. And the same for if I would invite her. I really appreciate al the other help and I really dont know if this made sense as I am tired as hell from just waking up.

[shh!]

Hey, blah - this girl is really very young, and she is undoubtedly used to her parents providing for her. She really may not have any idea how much it actually costs to do these things, so try giving her the benefit of the doubt. Why don't you ask her to pay for one typical date all by herself using only her allowance money so she can see how quickly the money goes.

As for the activities you are doing with her, why don't you try changing the types of dates you have? For example, if you live near the ocean or a river, you can go there and bring along a packed lunch and a boom box. Or you could go hiking if you live near mountains, and again - bring along a sack lunch. You can even ask her to bring it (or if you pack a really crappy lunch for her, she may offer to do it on her own the next time). Take a long bike ride. Try to avoid city-type dates. They are less healthy, less romantic, and more expensive. If you must eat out, breakfast/coffee dates are less expensive than lunch/dinner dates.

And by the way, I agree that if she invites you somewhere, she should pay, and vice versa.

[Only-virgins]

What a beautifull world it is were you need money to have love.

[mhussain]

first time i agree with your sarcasm nihilist

Hussain

[ALovelyLady86]

Its is hard to be able to do anything these days without money...so I can see where shes coming from BUT you are spending money on her! So wheres her argument here? See what I mean? Shes complaining that you dont buy her anything, and you do.

You need to tell her to go out and get her own job. She sounds like she may have been the type where daddy bought her everything. Well, in the real world things are earned. Tell her youre doing the best you can and then just change the subject. If she still wants to argue about it thats when I would just tell her off. If she cant understand that you are doing the best you can then she needs to learn the value of a dollar a little better.

It isnt easy to be able to buy things for other people and still be able to afford gas money and food money (not to mention anything else) for yourself.

[Prodigal]

It seems to me that she only wants to go out with you when you pay. For example, you said she gets mad when you suggest that you each pay for yourselves. I mean, when we go out with our friends, we can't get mad because we have to pay our own way... we just do it.

I feel as if she's using you, and almost wants to go to more expensive places BECAUSE she knows she doesn't have to pay. As many others suggested, I would really have a talk with her about this. You guys should be going out because you enjoy being with each other... you know, rather than how much something costs or how much fun it is. Isn't a good chunk of the fun come from who you go with?

Honestly... it doesn't sound like a long-term relationship in which it's for the love. I feel she is money-grubbing a bit. Not only does money not buy love, it SHOULDN'T buy it. I would suggest trying to get her to realize that somehow.

Good luck to ya,
Prodigal

[JMark]

We don't have all the details, but she sure sounds spoiled to me! In your situation I'd be tempted to do a test: don't pay anything for her for a while, but still show that you are loving. See how she reacts. If she gets mad, I say her character is really (as frasbee would put it) "fugly".

I believe the man should provide but not be abused.

[Junket]

shes not just some chick though.

Dude.

They're all "just some chicks".

[blahblah209]

She is the only girl I have ever loved. I have been with so many they all just sucked. I didn't stay with any of them very long except one but thatdidn't end up working out either. To me she is not some chick no matter what and I will let her pay for herself for a while and see what happens. I will also talk to her and when she says something I'm going to tell her to try and pay for a normal date and see if she thinks she could do it as much as I do. Thanks for the tips alot. I would also like some female responses to this if there is none yet.