Insight Please….

[ylafont]

A few months ago, I meet a married women, we had and instant connection. I had no intentions of perusing her because she was married. However, things have progressed. She has asked that we do not used her cell phone to communicate, rather we use her office line, often she calls me from a pay phone or some other number. We talk every few days or so and we meet for lunch on occasion. We have had sex numerous times. During one of our first times together she clarified a few items.

1) She has never done this before and feels it is wrong.
2) She and her husband do not have sex and they are virtually roommates.
3) She has asked him to leave, he refuses because he does not want to break up the family. I should point out she has a 5 year old.

During the middle of the week, we had plans to meet at my place, plans changed at the last minute and she asked we meet some place to have a drink. Which I was ok with. After a few drink, we came to my place and she did not leave until 1:30 am. The next day we spoke and she seemed a bit guilty that she got home so late and that her husband knows she was not with her friends ‘till that time of night and that she is up to no good.
I should also point out she has mentioned the Husband often comes home at 3 or 6 in the morning. Has somewhat of a drinking problem and spend money foolishly. At least that is what I have heard.

She is away until next week and I do not expect to hear from her until then and I figured I throw this out to the group for some feedback.

What is the scoop?

What is she thinking? What is a married woman with a 5 year old doing getting home at 2 in the morning? That is surely a sign to the Husband. If she wanted to be discrete she would have left a decent time.

Does she really not care of her marriage? Is she sub-consciously looking to make the Husband jealous or give him clear signs the marriage is over?

Is this affair about just sex? I have asked that questions and she says no.

She makes an effort for us to stay in touch and continue, whatever this is and gives me the impression she wants it on her term. Why the sudden guilt trip?

.. What else can she be thinking, please advise.

[woody]

Your being used. Why are you putting yourself in this situation. Getting involved with a married person is never the best idea. She has a child as well.

Yes it does sound like she is starved for affections and though some of her intention towards you may be genuine, she is using you as well; to make a point to her husband and not caring what happens to you.

Do you really want to be 'that guy' who gets in the middle of a struggling marriage? Come on man. And if you actually think you truly like this woman, what makes you think she wouldn't do the same thing to you as she's doing now to her husband?

Sorry man, but sounds like your getting somewhat played, not to mention the whole, breaking up a marriage thing.
Shyte situation. Look out.
goodluck

[ylafont]

Woody,

She may think she is playing me, but it think i know better. Which is why i posted, to gather feedback and know how to proceed. Although I do like this girl, I know my place. I have let her know that, and if it is one person i needed to protect, it is myself.

I don't think i am the one breaking up a marriage, I am not sure I would have let this get to where it is if I was the one pursuing her. She is an adult, has her own mind, knows what is wright and wrong and is capable of making her decisions without any influence. I don't think a marriage needs a third party to break it up, some times it is just the writing on the wall. Blaming someone else is just an excuse, you either work at it or you don't. Sure there is some grey area, but having an affair if you want to stay married doesn't sound right.

I need the luck! thanks.

Would like to gather more feedback from others as well!

[woody]

True that man. Ya, if a marriage is on the brig, it's them, not the third party. Just protect your heart. Okay? Protect your heart and follow your gut instincts because your right; it's one thing to separate from a husband or wife and start another relationship with someone else but to continue the marriage and start an affair, well, that's just not fair for any of the hearts involved.
take care. I hope some others can offer better advice.

[ylafont]

hope others chime in as well, I am interested in what women think on this matter. I have been cautious with this situation and i am protect mode. Thank you for your insight.

[woody]

Btw, I am female. Woody=Trees. All woman here.

but yes, more opinions please; this guy needs it.
good luck O.P

[ylafont]

Btw, I am female. Woody=Trees. All woman here.

but yes, more opinions please; this guy needs it.
good luck O.P

Thank you for the support Woody, I must admit the name through me off at first, however the Gender icon clarified it for me before.