I sometimes get upset with my bf, are these mood swings typical?

[Seally96]

I just turned 18 a couple days ago and we've been dating for nearly 2 yrs now. This is during some arguments, I get upset and well it makes me knock down some stuff, scream at him, called him stupid and stomp on his history books (once threw his cell on the floor). On the last argument, I just backed him on a wall and yelled.

But this doesn't happen often, just at times. I'm not sure it can even be hurting him. He doesn't say anything about it. I'm assuming he is like used to it and think it's just my way of expressing anger at the moment as in ''She'll calm down, no big deal'' thing. I do eventually calmed down and overally we get along, just those occasions once in a while I get upset.

Though, I've been lately having some guilt. Are these typical mood swings common in some girls or do I really have a problem?

[TablesandChairs]

Not entirely 'normal' as such - you're getting physical and while you your boyfriend may not consider it so, it is violence. As is mishandling his belongings.

You could have an anger management problem, stemmed by hormones maybe? (is it worse during certain times of the month?) or are you triggered simply when things don't go your way or he says something that annoys you etc.?

Imagine if it was him putting you up against the wall and screaming in your face? No doubt you'd say that was abusive. Well, same thing.

[Seally96]

Thanks for the reply. This happened when I feel that either he's not listening to me or I'm not getting my way in an argument and it just happens. When I was doing all this, it's like in my mind I felt that's the only way he'll listen. Though when I backed him against the wall, at the same time I was on my period too.

Good point though. I do want to find other ways to express myself without knocking down his stuff or back him against a wall.

[nico88]

I agree with tablesandchairs 100%. If the situation was reversed and it was him lashing out like that, no doubt in my mind people on here would be telling you to get out of the relationship pronto.

Though you haven't physically roughed him up..it could happen in the future. Anger is a very raw and really strong emotiom. You should look into anger management classes or at least read up on ways to better express yourself without getting physical or shouting and throwing shit..

[TheEvilJester]

I don't like you use words like "typical" or "normal" when talking about people if I can help it. Of course... that could be because I am FAR from typical and normal. LOL! Still, we are human beings. There is no typical or normal.

So, your angry reactions are certainly understandable and not unprecedented. However, they are definitely not desirable reactions. I'm sure you, yourself, very much wish you could get angry without acting like that. So, I would suggest you find whatever ways you can to deal with your anger without having to do stuff like that. That may mean you just find ways to deal with it better, or it may mean you get help with anger management. Whatever works for you.

Trust me, I feel your pain. I'm a pretty angry person after the life I've lived thus far, but it has also helped me to learn to better control my anger. It has also helped me to know myself better. I know that, like many people, my anger is its most explosive when it is fresh and at its peak. So, I know to give myself time to calm down a bit before reacting to anything causing me anger. Then, I am fine to deal with it in a much more rational, yet still assertive kind of way. So, you just need to find your balance. Good luck. I hope it works out for you.

[fearoflove]

It is not normal. Your boyfriend is in an abusive relationship.

[Wakeup]

Well, I agree with fearoflove. You're only 18 what will you be doing to him or some other poor duufus who happens to fall for you if you two break up?

You should take a communication course and learn how to express yourself in a NORMAL manner without blowing the hair back on your enabling boyfriend's head as you scream in his face. Not nice.

He's a bit of a codependent if he'd keep you around when you behave like that.

Tell your parents you'd like to see a councelor or at the very least look online to take some communication courses (better for you to actually go to the class) so that you learn how to relate calmly and effectively.