Hello,
So I've had a girlfriend for 9 months now. Our relationship started out very slowly, only seeing each other once every 3 weeks or so for the first 2 months until agreeing to be exclusive. Pretty normal after that. I'm kind of torn on how I feel about her and I know that if I break it off with her I will be devastating based on how much I believe she loves me.
I'll start with the pros of the relationship:
She is very beautiful, totally trustworthy, and loyal. I never worry about her when she's out with her friends. We were both raised similarly by our parents. She accepts me for who I am. My parents LOVE her. She makes the effort to make the relationship work, always meeting me halfway. Whenever we've had a disagreement and I've asked her to meet one of my needs, she has come through. We are able to chill and watch a movie and SPORTS. She likes to hike explore new cities/sights.
Cons:
The sex is kind of boring. Our sexual chemistry is somewhat bland. I have never had that "lose yourself" feeling when we've kissed or made love, not yet at least. I tend to daydream while we kiss. And sometimes I have difficulty reaching orgasm because of the mediocre connection I feel. Our conversations are not the most stimulating. We don't get very deep into topics, and I find myself to be a relatively deep person. Politics, current events, religion, history, etc., she doesn't engage in these topics as she has little interest whereas I do. Discussions about our childhood don't last very long because she says she barely remembers much from childhood. Her typical day is to work a 12+ hour shift, come home and either work out, hang out with me, or go to bed. We only get a couple of hours to spend together on work nights because of her 12 hour shift(nurse). Also, I am an artist and have tried to share my artwork with her. At first she just didn't seem very interested at all. I was hurt by this, and later did tell her. She has since made an effort to take more of an interest but I still feel she doesn't care as she just isn't that into art in general. I do appreciate her effort though.
In summary, I lack the enthusiasm I would wish for in a relationship. There was a period where I was much more in love with her. Maybe that honeymoon phase is just over. I'm not really sure what to do here. I am a religious man so I pray about it every day. And I do feel like I have received signs that I should stay with her. If you're not religious you won't understand this but I do believe in the voice of God very strongly. And that voice has probably kept me in the relationship longer than I think I would have been. We are both 36. She and I are both looking for someone to marry at this point in our lives so I don't want to make a big decision without really thinking this through.
Am I expecting too much from her or a relationship in general? Do I need to appreciate what I have here and quit complaining, or are my concerns legit? Thanks in advance for the help!