Is this normal?

[Vertigo]

Hello.
I recently broke up with my 1st boyfriend and I don't understand his actions since. Can you help me?

What happened...
We went out for a 7 months. *I* broke up with *him* 2 wks ago because he screwed up+diff values/lifestyle. I still love him - I wonder every day what he's doing & if he's ok.

After the break-up...
- I regretted & asked we could try again. He said no.
- I have asked if we could be friends. He said yes.
- We met up a few days ago and were polite & friendly. There was intense chemistry on both sides and we kissed/hugged.
-After that, he has sent me 1-2 brief msgs which I replied to.
- He sent me a Snapchat, and I replied (non-sexual). He replayed it + screenshotted it.
- I sent him a msg wishing him well + to say I missed him, which he ignored. Only after asking if he got my msg, he replies BRIEFLY and COLDLY.

Why does he act like this?

[TheSoulReaver03]

Best thing would be to ask him yourself. Maybe he's hurt or doesn't have a lot of confidence to express his feelings anymore. Maybe he's playing with your feelings (you know him logn enough, so it's you who should know).
Just ask him calmly and honestly why he's doing this.

[Vertigo]

Best thing would be to ask him yourself. Maybe he's hurt or doesn't have a lot of confidence to express his feelings anymore. Maybe he's playing with your feelings (you know him logn enough, so it's you who should know).
Just ask him calmly and honestly why he's doing this.

But I am afraid of contacting him again.

I contacted him to say I missed him & wished him well for the upcoming holidays and he ignored it. Then only briefly replied with a cold thank you after I asked if he got my message. I assume that means he doesn't want to talk to me.

And I don't know why.. what are your guesses?

[TheSoulReaver03]

But I am afraid of contacting him again.

I contacted him to say I missed him & wished him well for the upcoming holidays and he ignored it. Then only briefly replied with a cold thank you after I asked if he got my message. I assume that means he doesn't want to talk to me.

And I don't know why.. what are your guesses?

Could be that he's unsure of your intentions, like he's afraid that you get together and you might change your mind again. Unfortunately, I almost put my GF in the same shoes. By the way, right now I'm close to the state of your boyfriend. Either he has given up on you or unsure about the two of you ever being again. You need to ask him to talk to you face to face. That's the only way to know. You can't read people's minds (I tried that, and it drives you nuts, trust me). By the way how did he "screw up" exactly?

[Vertigo]

Yes, I guess the "kissing" when we met up was confusing.

I wish I could see him in person to ask but that won't be happening for a while as he is going away. And also not going to happen if he continues to ignore me...

It's just so painful that I am treating him like a close friend, I just want to continue talking to him and see how hes doing (its so hard to suddenly stop talking to someone who was everything in your life so recently) - but he doesn't even care to communicate with me...

[TheSoulReaver03]

Yes, I guess the "kissing" when we met up was confusing.

I wish I could see him in person to ask but that won't be happening for a while as he is going away. And also not going to happen if he continues to ignore me...

It's just so painful that I am treating him like a close friend, I just want to continue talking to him and see how hes doing (its so hard to suddenly stop talking to someone who was everything in your life so recently) - but he doesn't even care to communicate with me...

But how did he "screw up"? You shouldn't be surprised by the way. This just means that he still loves you, and not as a friend. If you don't want anything from him but being his friend, then you need some time apart, otherwise it will not work out.

[Vertigo]

But how did he "screw up"? You shouldn't be surprised by the way. This just means that he still loves you, and not as a friend. If you don't want anything from him but being his friend, then you need some time apart, otherwise it will not work out.

He stood me up multiple times (I'm talking 9 + times within a month) and left me waiting. That was what pushed me over the edge but I had long had a niggling feeling he and I were too different. But I still love him so, so much.

Yeah I guess we do need time apart if we are to try friendship. Dang, it's so hard! He seems to be doing so well keeping away from contacting me!

(Thank you TheSoulReaver by the way - I really appreciate your advice!)

[TheSoulReaver03]

He stood me up multiple times (I'm talking 9 + times within a month) and left me waiting. That was what pushed me over the edge but I had long had a niggling feeling he and I were too different. But I still love him so, so much.

Yeah I guess we do need time apart if we are to try friendship. Dang, it's so hard! He seems to be doing so well keeping away from contacting me!

(Thank you TheSoulReaver by the way - I really appreciate your advice!)

Now that's a bit screwed up...you mean he left the date or never showed up at all? Both are bad actually. And 9 times in a month...I don't think your love is appreciated by him, sorry to say.

[ClaireH]

I cannot agree with TheSoulReaver03, I don't think he loves you, I think he has been using you and you are letting him walk all over you. When he said he didn't want to get back together, he meant it. He says you can still be friends as he has no expectations from 'just friends'. Life is way too short to be wasting it on guys who don't appreciate you or return your love! I know it sounds like cold comfort, but there really are a lot of guys out there who would appreciate you and return your feelings. Don't wait around for him, he is not worth it. If he was, he wouldn't have stood you up 9 times in 1 month!

[Vertigo]

You're probably right. I think I realized he didn't love me as much as I loved him - but it's so hard to see him in a bad light.

Don't worry, I would never try to get back with him / want to get back with him.

Which makes this board pointless right..? I guess, I just want to be his friend as I still care about him a lot (I can't help it!) =P

[milk&honey]

It doesn't seem like he cares about you and wants to get back with you or even stay as friends. It's best you try to move on. There'll be someone better for you.

[toknow]

Communication + Love

If he can't respond to your love, then he is not the person for you.

Love is like art that not everyone can see. Like a language that not everyone speaks and understands