Two girls at my work interested in me, can i have both?

[nice fella]

Hi!

First post on this forum and as a non native english speaker i apologize in advance if my grammars/spelling are not in order.

So.. At the place i work there are two girls who i'm pretty sure are interested in me. I've been friendly with Girl 1 since i started working there about a year ago, but i never had the balls to ask her out or flirt with her (i have a history of depressions and bad confidence, and i have always been awkward around girls). I suspect that she has been into me this whole time but she is somewhat shy and i'm horrible at picking up flirtation unless it's super obvious. For the last few months i've had a boost in self confidence as i really started to take care of myself and my appearence (working out, tanning, use hair products etc.). I guess i'm also kind of a late bloomer, i was kind off awkward looking (not ugly though) while going through puberty but today i would rate myself as a 7 or 8. For my line of work i had to really bring out my charming side, which i did'nt know i had, but apparently i am an extremely charming guy. (I kinda cringed typing that, but i want to get as much information out to get the best possible answer.) I'm allso regarded as a funny guy, and i love goofing around and making people laugh. (In my depression years i seriously considered becoming a stand up comic).

Because of this, Girl 2 has taken an interest in me. She is a typical sorority girl and is'nt shy at all and flirts very openly with me. I have flirted back but i have never taken it any further than that (Reasons being: 1.) My sexlife has been almost nonexistent for a while and i'm afraid i'll embaress myself sleeping with her as she is really good looking and someone i'd thought of as being out of my league only a year ago. 2.) While i'm really into Girl 2 physically, i think Girl 1 is more my type personalitywise, and she is extremely good looking aswell.)

For the last couple of weeks i've been trying to work up the confidence to ask Girl 1 out, but i have kept flirting with Girl 2. Today i finally did it (we are going for coffee or something when she gets back from vacation in about 1,5 weeks). What all of this has led up to is this question:

As im not officially dating Girl 1, would it be ok for me to hook up with Girl 2 as long as i'm open about not wanting to be in a serious relationship with her? I'm not 100% if she wants me as her boyfriend or just sex, but she will probably be moving to another city to go to school in about a months time. I would really like it if you girls could put yourselves in both these girls position and tell me how you would feel if i did sleep with Girl 2 while Girl 1 is on vacation and then maybe start dating Girl 1 when she gets back. Is this wrong of me?

As mentioned above i was never a ladies man and sleeping with Girl 2 would be a nice feather in my hat plus it would give me some much needed practice incase it gets serious with Girl 1. One of the reasons i took forever to ask Girl 1 out is because im affraid of embaressing myself sexually.

PS! We are all in our early 20's.

[michelle23]

Typical insecurity. Guys who never get attention-always want more and more and more.. unless you work on boosting your confidence-you will always think the grass is greener

If I was girl 1-i would lose all interest if you slept with girl 2 just coz shes hot and popular. I need a man who is confident and doesnt feel he needs to be a "ladies man"

I personally hate men who view women as "notches on their belt"

[lalalita]

Pretty much what Michelle said.

You're not ready to be in a relationship.

[nice fella]

Typical insecurity. Guys who never get attention-always want more and more and more.. unless you work on boosting your confidence-you will always think the grass is greener

If I was girl 1-i would lose all interest if you slept with girl 2 just coz shes hot and popular. I need a man who is confident and doesnt feel he needs to be a "ladies man"

I personally hate men who view women as "notches on their belt"

Thank you for your answer. As you probably have figured out i'm pretty illiterate when it comes to knowing how you girls think. Yet i feel like you to some degree misunderstand me, which might be my fault for not explaining well enough. I did say i have had issues with self confidence and insecurity, these are however mostly gone except for when it comes to sex where i feel like both girls will be way more experienced than me. I guess if either girl really likes me and wants to be my girlfriend this would'nt be an issue unless i did'nt show any improvement which i'm certain i will quickly. I apologize for the "feather in my hat"-comment, that did'nt come off as i wanted at all. I really like both these girls and would'nt want to treat either of them in that kind of manner. Allthough Girl 1 is the one i feel i "click" better with personalitywise, Girl 2 is really awesome aswell.

Would you say the best thing to do would be to stop flirting with Girl 2 and tell her i have somewhat of a crush on Girl 1 and that i feel i'm not Girl 2's type? And was it weird of me to ask Girl 1 out the day before she goes on a vacation?

Just for the sake of humoring me; what would you say the chances are for me being with both girls in the way i described in the original post. (Telling Girl 2 i like her alot but that i'm going out with Girl 1 when she gets back -> Girl 2 does'nt get hurt and still wants to sleep with me like in a one night stand, but is fine with me not being able to do it as soon as G1 is back. -> Is this disrespectful to G1? If she were to sleep with someone on her vacation i would'nt mind as we arent dating yet. So why is it bad of me to sleep with G2? Because we all know eachother?

If you tell me there's at least a 50/50 chance i'll "get away with it", so to speak, i would have to consider it. I cant say that i feel like such a huge asshole for wanting to sleep with a gorgeous girl who has been flirting with me in a very sexual manner. It's just unfortunate all 3 of us work at the same place...

Sorry for typing so much, i cant sleep as im thinking about this stuff constantly... Allso sorry if i came/come off as a douchebag, i can assure you i'm not. But i'm pretty sure every guy in the world would want the same as long as none of the girls get hurt by these actions.

So, what should i do? I assure you i will do as you advice me.

[michelle23]

Thats why my bf is originally from a town 20minutes away. I dont want to be with someone who has even kissed one of my friends before. Too much drama, gossip and BS. And there is enough of that where I am from already.

and your wrong about "no man would turn down this opportunity" plenty only sleep with women that they want a romantic relationship with.

Its your choice what you do.

My guess though: girl 1 is prob genuine whilst girl 2 is prob just an attention whore who is prick teasing you. Dont assume that just coz shes flirty means she will have sex with you

And you have no idea how much "experience" these girls could have. They both may have v little or 1 could have more than the other..

And you wont learn anything new with a one night stand. How you learn a girls body and what she likes is through communication and practice over a period of time (and we are all different)

My friend has had 100 ONS and only ever enjoyed one of them

[anya_may21]

How'd you type so much in your first post there is a 900 plus character limit and I ran yours through a character counter and yours came up 3083.

Shouldn't be possible. How'd you post so much for your 1st post?

[nice fella]

How'd you type so much in your first post there is a 900 plus character limit and I ran yours through a character counter and yours came up 3083.

Shouldn't be possible. How'd you post so much for your 1st post?

I paid $5 to circumvent the character limit.

I have thought some more about my little "problem" and realized it was quite silly to think i could do such a thing without causing massive drama for all parts involved. Thanks for slapping some sense into me. I'm still abit unsure of how i should proceed though... That i should stop flirting with Girl 2 is kinda obvious, but i'm not sure of the best way to do that. Last time i talked to her she told me how she had bought some new seethrough underwear. She allso pulled down her pants a bit to show me, and then she asked when we were going "running". Pretty sure that's not what she really meant. As you can see things have gotten a bit to far... Not sure how to "break it off" without her thinking i'm a massive asshole.

As to Girl 1, i texted her yesterday telling her to drive safely which she found funny. (We have an inside joke about her driving recklessly). Would it come off weird if i suddenly start texting her more frequently? It's maybe better if i wait a few days and then text her about how her vacation is going?

Holy smokes... This relationship thing is so hard!

[godsculpt]

If both girls agree, like polygamy, then yeah. Why not? It is every man's dream whether you are good looking or not and whether you are smooth with women or not. If not, as in both girls think they are the only girl you date, then no.

[fearoflove]

You can talk to both girls and see how things go but make sure they are aware you are seeing other people.

[godsculpt]

"Better to be single than to settle for less"

Precisely. Either the perfect happiness, or saving for the future perfect happiness. Or sufficient perfect happiness if your perfect happiness is going stale by minutes but not in a hurry.

As for Polygamy or its sorts, if all your girls are aware of this, know this, and agree to this, I don't see why not. If not, then you are taking an advantage.

[smackie9]

You have no idea what any of these girls want or are willing to accept. If you go for both, it can blow up in your face and you end up with none.

Place your goal and stick with it. If you want a serious relationship with girl one, then stick with it. Make your assessment after your date or dates with girl one. If it looks promising, cool it with girl 2, backing off will make her figure you have another interest. Stop being a fuddy duddy you do not owe girl 2 a verbal explanation why you stopped flirting with her. If things fall flat with girl 1, chase girl 2 into the sack.

No don't start texting girl one. You haven't been on a date yet, you need to wait and see if there is good attraction between you. It is better to save the texting for when you are in a relationship. If you over do the attention in the beginning, it will only scare them off. You need to let them earn your attention, before you give it.

[michelle23]

Girl 2 is either an attention whore-teasing you or using her body to try and get you (meaning she wants more than just a ONS)

Girls are complicated. Sometimes they just want to be the center of attention, sometimes they think they need to act overly sexual to get a guys interest.. either way I doubt she wants a one time thing with you.

I think if you really like girl 1-you need to ask her out and focus your attention on her. Girl 2 is leaving soon anyway so just avoid her until then.

Text girl 1 to confirm your date and make sure you make it clear, it IS a date.

[TylerX]

I would never date guy that tried to hit both on me and my other colleagues. So I'd recommend that you make up your mind and go only for one of them.

[woody]

Quality Women do not like Players.