Territorial and curious

[Love999]

UPDATE: I've taken in all the comments and thank those who did comment - I know it was wrong to go through his personal stuff and I do NOT condone it unless you feel you have reason to and so I hold my hands up to this...I trust him in our relationship, was just curious about his past and it only ended up annoying me so I can safely say, I won't be doing that again! Thanks all!

[KingZ]

Snoopers get what they deserve. Swallow it and let it eat you from the inside; maybe next time you'll be more mindful of the privacy of others.

[smackie9]

Karma is a bitch ain't it.

[searock]

Why did you snoop in the first place? If you don't trust him, you shouldn't be with him. Being so jealous and territorial as you say is usually a symptom of insecurity and fear of abandonment. Maybe you could use the help of a professional to explore these issues?

[lalalita]

He did nothing wrong, so you telling him that you snooped is going to put 100% of the blame on you. If you had snooped and found something incriminating, you'd have a leg to stand on.

[Starnique]

If you found nothing then you need not worry about shit that's in the past. I also 'lurk' from time to time just so I can know what's going on. If I see something from the past before my time, I ignore it. I don't care unless it personally effects me in some sort of way. If I lurk and see something shady going on during my time, I go the hell off and all that privacy bullshit which I don't care about in the first place goes out the window.

I don't understand why people say when you go look you find something so that's what you deserve. Soooo if I didn't look I never would've known right? I have a right to know right? Damn right I do. I understand that if you got to lurk on people you shouldn't be with them and I normally don't unless I feel the need to and if I find something, its a problem.

OP, You wasn't being curious. You just was being nosey. Babies are curious. Grown folks are nosey.

[Wakeup]

Hey everyone,
So I've been with my boyfriend almost a year now, beautiful relationship and we're both in love and 21.

We're both really territorial over each other and I'm extremely curious about his past..he's had one sexual partner before me. Anyways, (don't judge me), I went on his email since I know his password and went through his 'sent mail' where I found a WhatsApp conversation between him and his best friend. It was dated at the time he was with his ex and something crude was written concerning my boyfriend's and her sex life...Obviously I can't tell him I went through his email because I know it was wrong and an invasion of his privacy and I know it was dated and written way before we met but...it still bothers me!

How do I get over it? It's been on my mind all day!

It didn't have anything to do with you nor was it while he was with you. Get over yourself, dear.

- - - Updated - - -

Unless someone is acting real shady and giving you a GOOD excuse to snoop, you have no business in his personal stuff. That's my personal opinion on that, Op.

[woody]

Dear O.P
Jealousy can be a rough road to haul but like you said, their connection was before your time. If she was still sending stuff and he was lying about it, then you'd have a valid problem but that's not the case here.
We get protective over our significant others; natural. But try not to let it create unjust tensions with you now. If he has lied about stuff like that before, trusting would be most difficult but it sounds like the slate is clean right? So breath and try to let it go. You'll only feel bad about looking at his personal account, not worth it. Good luck

[michelle23]

Im confused. Are you upset coz you have an image of him and her in your head now that is making you feel jealous or are you upset that he discussed his sex life with a male friend?

[Starnique]

I don't see why you care OP

What exactly are you jealous of? Are you jealous that he don't have 'crude' sex with you or that you aren't getting something his ex was? Maybe he enjoyed it more with her so you think and you are questioning your sex life with him? Whats the problem really?

[michelle23]

You should just be thankful you found a self respecting guy who hasnt slept with the whole town. They are a rare bread these days apparently.. And what is with all the territorial jealousy crap? Hes with you. You either trust him or you dont? And you really shouldnt be snooping through his emails without good reason. If he hasnt given you any reason not to trust him then its unfair of you to be doing that

[somehelp4me]

He didn't cheat on you with the ex or anything regarding your time together- so who cares what he did in his sex life prior to you, you had a sex life prior to him too, didn't you, so don't judge or create issues where no issues are, it will bite you.

[smackie9]

You guys are bad, like really. I can't imagine "lurking" through my husband's stuff. I don't even touch his phone when it goes off. If he was "lurking" in my stuff my heart would be so trashed that he would think of me that way that he had to do it.

[KingZ]

You guys are bad, like really. I can't imagine "lurking" through my husband's stuff. I don't even touch his phone when it goes off. If he was "lurking" in my stuff my heart would be so trashed that he would think of me that way that he had to do it.

You have a heart?

For some reason, instead of a heart, I pictured you having a large pair of testicles.

[Starnique]

You guys are bad, like really. I can't imagine "lurking" through my husband's stuff. I don't even touch his phone when it goes off. If he was "lurking" in my stuff my heart would be so trashed that he would think of me that way that he had to do it.

Look, as I said before. I don't 'lurk' without reason. I don't snoop thru my BF things like the OP did. However, If I want to I will. I don't mind if they do mine because I have nothing to hide. If he don't like it, then find someone else. Its that simple. If we dating then we open with each other. I do think the OP is being silly because it was before her time. Most guys do get an attitude about it(from my experience guys that have shit to hide) and I don't care. My ex was so drunk one night that he was passed out on my bathroom floor. I tried getting him up but he was out but he left his phone unlocked in the bed and I went thru it, I seen shit I didn't like and hes my ex. Suppose I didn't look. Never would've known. I lurk sometimes, mostly if I have a reason but if its open, then hey? And I make no apologies about it.