repeat suggestion?

[inbox]

hi again

many month ago, i did project for a girl. we are not in a same university. i saw him just 1 time. after 2 day, i told could we speak? i need to talk with one person. then we had chat and said : i like a she but i don't know how can say it? and she said: say. its better for u and you will know what does she think about u.. after that i said : i like u!
but she said i don't want to be with any boy. i really love my family. some day we had chat again. and i sent a message on valetine day. she doesnt answer !
so how can i do? i find her fb id and last update is 2012. but every day check whatsapp and etc.
please advice me.
P.S: in iran, be with a bf or gf is not good for family ( father and mother ) and they doesnt like it . for that she told i love my family. she scear they will be angry when we are with each other. this is a close relation

[chinagirl]

You need to talk to her face to face and tell her that your intentions are well and good and that you are looking for a serious relationship. If it makes her feel better, you can even tell her that you want to meet her parents so they can get to know you.

[michelle23]

I dont know anything about your culture so I am not sure how I can help. What is the norm in your country? Arranged marriages? Or can you introduce yourself to her family and talk to them about your feelings for their daughter?

[inbox]

I dont know anything about your culture so I am not sure how I can help. What is the norm in your country? Arranged marriages? Or can you introduce yourself to her family and talk to them about your feelings for their daughter?

no i can't introduce myself to her family! just for marriage by my parents! many boys and girls are bf and gf but their parents don't know it!

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You need to talk to her face to face and tell her that your intentions are well and good and that you are looking for a serious relationship. If it makes her feel better, you can even tell her that you want to meet her parents so they can get to know you.

but how can i should to talk ? if she said i can't see you any place ??
dear chinagirl , i can't tell to her parents ! it's too bad! just my parents can say it to her parent! and this is just for marriage.

i dont have terms of marriage with anybody

[searock]

no i can't introduce myself to her family! just for marriage by my parents! many boys and girls are bf and gf but their parents don't know it!

What would happen if her parents found out that she was seeing a guy behind their backs? If her personal safety is at risk, I think it's best if you do not pursue her in secret.

Is there any way you can tell your parents about her and ask them to speak to her parents? Say something like "I really like this girl, and I would get to know her better so that eventually we can decide if we want to get married. Could you speak to her parents so that we can go on a few dates and decide if we want to get married?"

[chinagirl]

Okay, when you are in school, try to write her a note saying how you feel. Maybe send her flowers. Do something nice and sweet so she knows you like her.

[inbox]

What would happen if her parents found out that she was seeing a guy behind their backs? If her personal safety is at risk, I think it's best if you do not pursue her in secret.

Is there any way you can tell your parents about her and ask them to speak to her parents? Say something like "I really like this girl, and I would get to know her better so that eventually we can decide if we want to get married. Could you speak to her parents so that we can go on a few dates and decide if we want to get married?"

tnx for help. it's not safety! she will be limited on house and out. such as : she cannot answer to her mobile, go to any where lonely and etc...! and if my parents want to say it, her family think i want we marriage to each other! i like it but i don't have terms for marriage Now !

Okay, when you are in school, try to write her a note saying how you feel. Maybe send her flowers. Do something nice and sweet so she knows you like her.

we are not in same university! i'm 21 years old and she is 22 years old.

[searock]

tnx for help. it's not safety! she will be limited on house and out. such as : she cannot answer to her mobile, go to any where lonely and etc...! and if my parents want to say it, her family think i want we marriage to each other! i like it but i don't have terms for marriage Now !

What do you mean by "terms for marriage"?

If you parents do talk to her parents and you two start dating, would it be so bad if you later on decided that you did not want to get married?

[inbox]

What do you mean by "terms for marriage"?

If you parents do talk to her parents and you two start dating, would it be so bad if you later on decided that you did not want to get married?

sorry for bad writing :-(

my mean is : for marriage i need a house , job , and etc... so i'm 21 years old and don't have these now ! ( you know in iran it's too hard! find a job, buy a house ! very hard )
when my parents talk , it mean's marriage ! else i talk to she it mean's just for bf and gf

[michelle23]

I dont think its wise to go behind her parents back. If you fall In love and you get caught-you will be forced apart which will hurt you both. Why not discuss arranged marriage with parents for when you do get a job?

[smackie9]

Dude she gave you a pretty good reason why. I think she has some good values, because she respects/loves her family very much and you can't change that. You have no right to make her go aganst her family's wishes, so don't pursue her any further.

[chinagirl]

Write her a letter saying how you feel. I think with this girl who seem to be too conservative, you need to court her the old fashioned way. Send her love letters. Send her flowers. Text her to just say hello and ask her how is her day going.

If she has the same feelings for you, ask her how she would feel about meeting her parents. Just make sure to let her know that you are not ready to get married due to financial reasons. Tell her you love her and once you are both financially prepared, you want to marry her someday and you can say the same thing to the parents that you have good intentions with their daughter but just not ready to get married yet.

I agree with what everybody is saying, once you find out about how this girl feels about you, you need to meet her parents becuase this seems to be very important to her and your culture. Don't do anything behind their back or they will cast you out of their daughter's life.

[searock]

chinagirl, have you read the part in which he says they're Iranian living in Iran? He can't just send her flowers, her parents are going to ground her for months. Him meeting her parents is out of the question in his culture: his parents have to meet with her parents and if they do, it's ONLY for arranging a marriage.

[chinagirl]

He said he wants to talk and get to know the girl first because he's not ready for marriage. He can at least try something before giving up on this girl.

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He does not need to send her flowers if not possible but he can write her a letter. If there's a will, there is always a way.

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I'm trying to help him find a way to have a conversation with the girl. I think this is what he is asking help for.

[Wakeup]

hi again

many month ago, i did project for a girl. we are not in a same university. i saw him just 1 time. after 2 day, i told could we speak? i need to talk with one person. then we had chat and said : i like a she but i don't know how can say it? and she said: say. its better for u and you will know what does she think about u.. after that i said : i like u!
but she said i don't want to be with any boy. i really love my family. some day we had chat again. and i sent a message on valetine day. she doesnt answer !
so how can i do? i find her fb id and last update is 2012. but every day check whatsapp and etc.
please advice me.
P.S: in iran, be with a bf or gf is not good for family ( father and mother ) and they doesnt like it . for that she told i love my family. she scear they will be angry when we are with each other. this is a close relation

If you love her, you'll leave her alone and stop trying to impose yourself on her until you get her punished in some way.