BF of 7 years has stopped wanting to give oral..

[wonderstruck]

Earlier in our relationship my boyfriend used to give me Oral sex. It wasn't super often, but it did occasionally happen. I knew he wasn't too big of a fan of it.
However, in the past year or so, he has just totally stopped. I've asked him about it a few times, and he just says he doesn't like it. He doesn't offer too much more info.
I've told him nicely how much I enjoy it, and it's certainly not something I can do myself-- so is it fair for me to just deprived of it simply because he doesn't 'like' it, even though he USED to do it??

There used to be things I didn't like doing, but because he liked it, or wanted to do it, I learned to tolerate it. And now there isn't really anything I won't do, AND I've came to the point of enjoying everything I do.
If I had an issue with performing oral sex on him, I would feel like crap. It's a big thing and I'd feel bad to take that pleasure away from him. I find so much joy in doing things he likes, I wouldn't ever be able to just NOT do something simply because I don't 'like' it.

Any insight would be appreciated! I'm just not sure what to do. It's been over a year since I've received Oral and honestly, I really really miss it. Do I just learn to accept that it's something I'll never get, and get over it? Do I tell him simply tell him I NEED him to do it and get over his selfishness? I feel like it's something most men enjoy.. I don't understand why he doesn't. Doesn't he want to please me in every way he can? Even if he's a bigger fan of some things more than others?

* It's definitely not an issue of anything 'changing' down there. I'm always super clean before he does that, there are not any extremely odd smells, and I have not had any type of medical issue down there. So it's nothing of that nature.

[vashti]

I think men who won't go down on a long-term partner really don't like vaginas.

I do not see how sex would be pleasurable with someone who was so limited, and I do not see how men who don't like vaginas would be worth five cents in bed.

You cannot talk him into liking vaginas, and if you force the issue, I doubt he'd be any good at it, and he would be resentful, and you would feel guilty.

Therefore, I think it is possible you are not sexually compatible, and might do better finding someone who is a better match.

[lalalita]

If you give him oral, I'd suggest stopping too.

[countrysailor]

I would have to agree with these two. If he is refusing to do something that gives you pleasure while you are still giving him pleasure, then he is being selfish.
As long as he will not perform oral on you I would say stop giving him oral.
As Vashti said you may not be sexually compatible so you may want to consider ending it and moving on.

Heck as a guy I love going down on a woman, I can spend a good half hour enjoying the pleasure of licking and finginer someone, even longer if I have them tied down

Do you shave or trim? I know some guys may not like or because of all the hair.

[lalalita]

I've come across a few guys in my time who boast and brag about loving to go down on women, saying it's their favorite thing to do blah blah blah, and then when they get down there it's down right painful what they're doing to me and they rarely do it in the first place.

Communication is so important. I'd much rather a man say "Ya know, I really haven't done much of that and need some practice." or just flat out being honest if they just don't like doing it. You can *tell* when a man loves eating pussy. And you can tell when he's sort of just doing it to do it.

[Stay 2gether]

Gotsta say that i would agree with all u guys on this matter there is no way i would continue to give oral to somebody for a whole year without recieving it back in return and i think that if he use to do it and has just stopped maybe he mite have another partner in the bed has the sex gotten worse also? thats something else to look at because if you are not getting pleased in the bed sooner or later its gonna come a point where you are gonna be around some other guy that mite not having a problem letting you know how much he likes to please his women then you will be tempted to cheat when you can just let it go cuz hunny i would have been left and found somebody else. You aint gone just stop pleasing me while im still enjoying pleasing you and obviously he has no plans on starting back lady or he would have been did it by now so i think there is no point in asking him again!

[Starnique]

I've come across a few guys in my time who boast and brag about loving to go down on women, saying it's their favorite thing to do blah blah blah, and then when they get down there it's down right painful what they're doing to me and they rarely do it in the first place.

Omg. Especially when they are sucking on your clit all hard. They think it feels good but I be trying to adjust my legs and shit because it be uncomfortable. Sometimes, I'll be like baby be gentle.

You can *tell* when a man loves eating pussy. And you can tell when he's sort of just doing it to do it.

You're right. My BF does and he be looking up at me and he loves doing it to me. It's funny because he is very direct. He uses the term "eat your pussy" all the time. He never says oral or go down, just "eat your pussy"lol. It's funny because I went to see him the other day and we kind of been having issues and when I left he was like, I wanted to eat your pussy but you was trippin'.

[lalalita]

Omg. Especially when they are sucking on your clit all hard. They think it feels good but I be trying to adjust my legs and shit because it be uncomfortable. Sometimes, I'll be like baby be gentle.




You're right. My BF does and he be looking up at me and he loves doing it to me. It's funny because he is very direct. He uses the term "eat your pussy" all the time. He never says oral or go down, just "eat your pussy"lol. It's funny because I went to see him the other day and we kind of been having issues and when I left he was like, I wanted to eat your pussy but you was trippin'.

Oh jeez girl, you are so right. Nothing is worse than a man suction cupping your clit. I much prefer licking to actual sucking. It's very sexy when a man seems hungry when he's down there.

[Rowen]

Guys, before you attack the guy, remember this chick's other thread: [url]https://www.loveforum.net/threads/89924-25-y-o-male-w-lack-of-interest-in-ANYTHING-sexual[/url]

[HeartIsAching]

If you give him oral, I'd suggest stopping too.

Yeah, great idea. Sex as a weapon always works out well. [/sarcasm]

[lalalita]

Yeah, great idea. Sex as a weapon always works out well. [/sarcasm]

How is that using sex as a weapon?

[Wakeup]

Why don't you buy a supply of dental dams, Op. Perhaps if he doesn't have to taste or feel directly, he'll finish ya up nice?

Your man is afraid of the vag. Find a way to get around that fear that will end up compromising and resolving rather then depriving one another.

Good luck. Tell him what they're for and what you want him to do with them and tell him that at least trying is very important to you. Hopefully he's not a big giant, selfish baby about it and refuses to at least do that.

- - - Updated - - -

Here's a link just in case neither of you know what a dental dam is.

http://www.sexualityandu.ca/stis-stds/how_do_i_protect_myself_from_stis_stds/dental_dam

- - - Updated - - -

Bloody hell: Looks like admin has dis-engaged the hot link once again so you'll have to cut and paste it into your browser.

[searock]

Bloody hell: Looks like admin has dis-engaged the hot link once again so you'll have to cut and paste it into your browser.

Oh God, why .

[Rowen]

How is that using sex as a weapon?

It's telling him that if he doesn't give her what she wants, he won't get what he wants...the very basis of using sex as a weapon.
It's manipulative and childish- no different than if she used it to get money from him. She needs to be able to communicate with her partner or get out of the relationship, as was specified in the other thread, as I recall.

(Sorry, HIA, just couldn't help but jump in.. :S)

[KingZ]

I think men who won't go down on a long-term partner really don't like vaginas.

I do not see how sex would be pleasurable with someone who was so limited, and I do not see how men who don't like vaginas would be worth five cents in bed.

You cannot talk him into liking vaginas, and if you force the issue, I doubt he'd be any good at it, and he would be resentful, and you would feel guilty.

Therefore, I think it is possible you are not sexually compatible, and might do better finding someone who is a better match.

Everyone that thanked your post is a woman, except HIA, who is also basically a woman.

Nobody bothered to read her other thread except for Rowen. This guy has been going down on this woman for years. Then he suddenly stopped. This has nothing to do with liking or not liking vaginas.

We all know you have a political agenda to enslave all men and make them subservient pussy-eating devices, but you don't need to paste it in every thread.