He only sees me as a friend, right?

[RyderAnn]

Basically, I know deep down that he does only see me as a friend, but my heart won't let me believe it. So, I really just need confirmation of this. I'll try to keep it as short and sweet as possible, but I'm going to give examples first of why I think there might be more, but then give examples of why I think he just sees me as a friend. Also, heads up, I've never dated anyone. Never even been close. So even at my age, all of this is completely foreign to me.

He's 21 and I'm 18. We're both music majors at college. I commute and he lives in his frat's house. There are two frats on campus. The stereotypical one, and then the once that I spend all my time at, that is much more mellow and full of genuinely good guys. I'm proud to call several of them my friends. They respect me, and I respect them. I don't drink really at all, and not once has alcohol ever been forced on me. I always feel safe there, even if I'm the only female there (cue mega-friendzone).

The guy in question was one of the first people to talk to me at the beginning of the year, asking how things were going. We eventually ended up friends, though it was more of just a "hello" in passing type thing. He is the sole reason I have a million and one nicknames though (my last name is Sprinkle).
We're in choir together, and over choir tour he was one of the main causes of drama. He has some...relationship problems. He started dating his best friend, and they took a break for a month. Over that time he slept with another girl, and when he and his best friend started dating again, he didn't tell her. She found out, they had a huge fight, and broke up again. Right before choir tour. And chose to remain best friends. I'm pretty sure I saw them together more after they broke up than I did when they were dating.
Over choir tour, he was one of the "tour news" people that would collect funny stories to read, and so I ended up with his number that way.
His good friend of 10 years also found out on tour, through a roundabout and hilarious way, that I'm super attracted to him, and we ended up becoming close friends in a hilarious "flirtationship".

Because I ended up close friends with that guy, he started inviting me over to the frat house, and I started going. One night, about three or so weeks before the semester was over, I stayed at the house until about 4:30am. The next night, the guy I currently like texted me and asked if I would come over, and we really haven't stopped texting since. I'm pretty sure we texted every day for a solid two weeks after that. And, even though we had "known" each other for almost an entire school year, it was really the two of us actually getting to know each other on a deeper level, because we'd never really "talked" before.

So, first, a few reasons why I'm conflicted.

I think what really got me hooked on him (because I knew it was a bad idea to begin with) was the night I told him I was going to bed, and he said "sweet dreams darlin'". And he has called me darlin several times after that as well. I'm such a sucker for pet names.

He genuinely seems to care about me. Always asks about me, makes sure I'm okay, etc. There was one day we were hanging out with friends, texting each other from two feet away, and I asked him if he was okay, because he said he hadn't gone to sleep the night before. He said he was fine, so I quit responding. Apparently I was being quieter than normal, because a little later, he texted me to ask if I was okay. I told him not exactly, but that I didn't want to send him a novel of a response, and he got kinda worried. So throughout the day, I slowly texted him piece by piece what was wrong. And, keep in mind, this was only two or three days after we started texting.
A couple weeks ago, I was at the house and was being quiet even for me, and he asked me SEVERAL times what was wrong with me and why I was being so quiet.

Was VERY open with me VERY quickly. Two or so weeks after we started getting closer, we were finally alone for the first time. We sat outside for two hours talking about life. His past is...rough. And I love meeting people that are so open with me. Makes me feel trusted.

He listens to my various rantings, and always gives me the best advice. He also knows when I just need someone to listen and be there for me. And the other night I felt bad for bugging him, so I apologized, to which he said "You're completely fine. It's what I'm here for" and I told him I often felt like I annoyed him, to which he promised me that I don't.

I saw him tonight, and at one point in time I was texting someone, he turned around and said "Who ya talkin to ya nasty?", and the only reason "ya nasty" was included was because I honestly think he was curious as to if I was texting his friend that I'm attracted to or not.

And then, just little things too. He walked in the house one night, had several open seats, and chose to sit beside me. Included me in a group text the other day with a bunch of his close friends about an inside joke. Made sure to text me and tell me he made it back safely after he'd driven all night. I wanted to come over one night to visit, and he wasn't there but said he'd be back soon, and texted me as soon as he got back so I could come over. "Slapped" me one night and then decided to "smush" my face for thirty seconds. Stole my phone one night, and then pinned me on his bed while he scrolled through it. Is always a little less....."guyish" towards me.


Now, the reasons why I think he only sees me as a good friend/little sister.

He talks about "pretty girls" A LOT. Tonight, for instance, after we had hugged and asked about each other, he said "You know, the thing I miss most about being in theatre (we were at a musical performance) is that there are pretty girls EVERYWHERE." And that's when I realized that there was a girl standing behind us wearing short-shorts. Though, unlike our other friend that was there, the guy I like was actually able to keep his attention on me for two minutes to actually talk to me.
One night, I jokingly told him "It's impossible to be upset with you" and he said "Yeah, well, would you please tell that to the girls I talk to?"
That day we were talking about life, we laughed about how long it had taken him to accept my friend request on Facebook at the beginning of the year, and he said "I only accept people that I know, or that I'm enamored with." and I guess I was quiet for too long, because he said "I love you, I'm just not enamored with you. I do bad things with those people."
He and his best friend are attempting to fix things, but he told me that every time they try to "start talking" again, they just end up fighting.

Wanted me to add him on snapchat when I finally got it, and has only responded once.
He usually always ends our texting conversations.
I almost always text him first, though he's responded literally all but one time, and that was when I was checking on him because someone said he'd gone home with a migraine.

I just really don't know what to think. My best friend, who happens to be this guy's little in the frat, told me that I'd be the best thing to ever happen to him if he wasn't so stupid. But I just feel like he's too interested in other girls to be interested in me. Besides, why would he talk about them all the time to me, unless he just thinks of me as a good friend?
He invited me to come over tomorrow, so I'm probably gonna go. But I'm afraid the more I spend time with him, the more it's gonna hurt. We've also got "Mudslide Monday" planned, because he told me he was gonna make me a drink that I actually enjoyed when he turned 21, and I basically told him "good luck" because I HATE alcohol. Two months later, he wants to have Mudslide Monday, and all our mondays have been busy thus far.

So I just don't know.
Someone please tell me that he just sees me as a friend so I can get the hell over him.

[searock]

I think you should talk to him about it. He is still in the phase where he wants to date around and not be tied down IMO. Tell him you have feelings for him and ask him if he would like to try dating to see how it goes. There's no other way to know for sure.

That is - if you aren't bold enough to just kiss him when you two are alone the next time. That's another way to know whether he's attracted to you, although it still wouldn't tell you whether he actually sees you as a potential partner. He might agree to making out and having sex, but not to a relationship. So... yeah, talking to him about him is still the best option IMO.

If you find out (because he tells you) that he isn't interested, don't try to stay friends with him. It will only cause you more heartbreak.

Unfortunately some people, especially young people like him, don't realize that they are sending out the wrong signals. If he isn't interested in you, he shouldn't be spending so much time with you having close intimate conversations, texting often, sharing playful physical contact, and all that. He doesn't realize that it's confusing and that it's just going to hurt you eventually (when/if you find out that he doesn't like you that way). Many would explain his behavior with phrases like "he's selfish and he just likes the attention", and while I partially agree with that, I also think that he genuinely doesn't realize the extent to which he is hurting you by giving you such confusing, contrasting signals.

So, talk to him, let him know that you have feelings for him (don't use strong words such as "love", just say that you have a crush on him) and that you would really like to try dating to see where it leads to, if anywhere. Also tell him that if he doesn't feel the same way he should tell you clearly, so that you can move on. Tell him that in order to move on, you are going to have to keep your distance, so all the texts and intimate conversations have to stop.

[smackie9]

imo he's a waste of time. He isn't looking for a GF, he is just hoping for someone to hop into his pants once in awhile. At best he would do FWB. But he knows better, He knows you want a serious romantic relationship. If he had any real interest he would have asked you out by now. As for mudslides, they are absolutely delicious, don't knock it til you try it.

Oh btw way, those guys are not friend zoning you, there are some that wish you would date them, some secretly would like to bang you.

[so..umhey]

He sounds like a guy who likes the attention. He prob knos u have feelings for him or at least knos ur attracted to him and that's why he still playfully flirts etc. I wouldn't take my chances on him. Since u hang around a frat house I'm sure u could find some other guy who would be interested in more than just ur attention. Gl!!