First date idea - Let me know if this seems good

[vashti]

The last two girls I went out with insisted they pay. I thought it was a bit odd but went with it lol.

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I insist on paying when I am sure I never want to go out with a guy again. It makes me feel less obligated to accept another date.

To the original poster - keep your first meetup cheap, short, and simple... I am not even sure you can call it a date, since you haven't even met this person before, and so don't even know you will like each other. Chemistry can't be determined through a few lines in a message box.

[Starnique]

I misread. I was under the impression that you knew her already and was going on a first date with her. I need to stop scanning this threads. In that case, yes keep it simple. Coffee or something would be good just to get a feel of each other. If you are feeling her after that then step the date up the next time.

[KingZ]

The last two girls I went out with insisted they pay. I thought it was a bit odd but went with it lol.

Hahaha. In the 21st century, this guy still finds it surprising when a woman wants to pay her share.

Amazing.

What was funny about this? Do you think its okay to laugh at other peoples misfortune?

I'm not laughing at your misfortune, I'm laughing at your hypocrisy.

You preach all of this bullshit about playing mind games and confusing potential partners in one thread, but your actions in the other thread are the polar opposite. Have you considered that there may be a healthy middle ground between these two extreme behaviors?

It's sad that young men these days have their masculinity attached to how often they "get laid", so they come up with all of this stupid shit made to do nothing but manipulate girls who are too naive to see it for what it is.

[lalalita]

Sure, I agree. But give them time and space to communicate what they want. Seriously!

Let me try to explain this as you both have no idea and must just like to argue.

Is it not showing a bit of neediness and/or insecurity asking a girl on a second date on the first date?

Its like saying "Hey I'm really insecure and nobody usually likes me or dates me twice so can we lock in the next date now, please?"

Wake up to yourselves.

Take her out, have a good time. At the end of the date tell her you had a good time and ask her to call you some time. Let her initiate contact after the date, even if it takes two weeks. This creates interest on her end and she is confused. "Maybe he didn't like me?, I wonder if he even cares?".

Then when she contacts you invite her on another date. "Hey, its great to hear from you. I'd love to hang out again, when are you free?".

Oh jeez.

I want a man to be a man, not a little boy. If he is interested, he should show me he is interested and take initiative.

My boyfriend is the most respectful man I have ever met, and his communication has been consistent and straight forward since our first conversation. After our first meeting, we continued to talk just the same. No one purposely ignored the other to create "mystery". THAT would have been a giant turn off. He made it clear he had a great time and would like to do it again. We spoke every single day until our next date, of which he initiated.

You're having multiple women tell you the same thing.

[MrLoyal]

You have just got me wrong, thats all. Even your analysis of me is incorrect, I don't play mind games with any girls. I just give them space to develop feelings for me. I am actually looking to settle down, nothing to do with sex. As I said you don't know me or my motives you have got me wrong.

[smackie9]

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I insist on paying when I am sure I never want to go out with a guy again. It makes me feel less obligated to accept another date.

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This^^^^ my thoughts exactly. When they insist to pay, it is not a good sign.

[lalalita]

You have just got me wrong, thats all. Even your analysis of me is incorrect, I don't play mind games with any girls. I just give them space to develop feelings for me. I am actually looking to settle down, nothing to do with sex. As I said you don't know me or my motives you have got me wrong.

Space does not develop feelings. At least not for me. Space develops confusion and resentment.

[MrLoyal]

You're having multiple women tell you the same thing.

Exactly, proving my point. Never take dating advice from women.
Second point, never argue with women. Even when they are wrong they are right. Women don't think logically they think emotionally. Which is why all you girls (including KINGZ) are flying off the handle acting inappropriately in this thread.

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I insist on paying when I am sure I never want to go out with a guy again. It makes me feel less obligated to accept another date.

To the original poster - keep your first meetup cheap, short, and simple... I am not even sure you can call it a date, since you haven't even met this person before, and so don't even know you will like each other. Chemistry can't be determined through a few lines in a message box.

Well one of them paid for the second also, the other made me pay for the second as she said she paid for the first. Independence, nothing wrong with it.

[XyOh]

You have a pretty dismal outlook on internet dating ... haha. That's okay though, I would maybe try to be a little more positive. Don't try to stake your entire online experience on this one date. I met my current boyfriend on match.com and I had to go through a few rocky messages, an drawn out phone call, and two fizzled dating sprees, before I got to him. I honestly consider myself lucky that it didn't take a longer duration. Are you on a free dating site? That might factor into why people aren't taking it too seriously. Also, I don't think women join those sites to make friends. The honest truth is that maybe they decided you weren't right for them or they are already talking to a few people they are interested in. In online dating, it's too easy to write a person off just because of one little thing on their profile or their message may have rubbed them the wrong way. Online dating isn't a solution, it's a tool! Just figure out the proper and most effective way to use it. Meet as many people as you can. If they don't work out, they don't work out. Find a person who does.

This isn't just a first date, it's a blind date. (At least, I'm assuming you haven't met her)

Don't stress! Worry about what she'll like, but also worry about what you'll like. What if you don't like her and now you're stuck with her for two hours? Keep your date short and sweet; high on quality and low on time. I can't stress enough how easy a simple dinner is. It takes about an hour and if things seem iffy, it can be easily concluded. Dinner is face to face, you'll get to know each other pretty fast, and both of you will focus on how you connect. If you want to continue the date, choose a location that has a scenic walk and take a stroll. This means A)things are working out and B) you can do something physical together which raises dopamine. You'll both associate this increase in happiness with each other which I think help seals the deal. But only do this if things are going well and feel natural!

If dinner is too stressful for you, change it to drinks or coffee. This gives you an out after about 30 minutes, buuuuuut it also gives her an out. This means if she's not feeling you right away (and this happens), you're not going to have enough time to get comfortable and redeem yourself.

I hope this was helpful and good luck, champ!

[chinagirl]

You have just got me wrong, thats all. Even your analysis of me is incorrect, I don't play mind games with any girls. I just give them space to develop feelings for me. I am actually looking to settle down, nothing to do with sex. As I said you don't know me or my motives you have got me wrong.

You're just afraid of getting rejected and that is why you want them to call you instead of asking them out again. There is nothing wrong with rejection, if anything, this should make you a stronger and a better person because you can reflect and learn from your past dating mistakes.

[lalalita]

Exactly, proving my point. Never take dating advice from women.
Second point, never argue with women. Even when they are wrong they are right. Women don't think logically they think emotionally. Which is why all you girls (including KINGZ) are flying off the handle acting inappropriately in this thread.

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Well one of them paid for the second also, the other made me pay for the second as she said she paid for the first. Independence, nothing wrong with it.

why would you not take advice from the demographic you're targeting? unless I'm confused here and you date men.

[MrLoyal]

You're just afraid of getting rejected and that is why you want them to call you instead of asking them out again. There is nothing wrong with rejection, if anything, this should make you a stronger and a better person because you can reflect and learn from your past dating mistakes.

Are you ****ing kidding me? So how many accounts do you have? Its funny how you all come out of the woodworks at one time.

I have never been rejected, they always call me back.

[KingZ]

Which is why all you girls (including KINGZ) are flying off the handle acting inappropriately in this thread.

I am actually male.

It's really telling when a person is standing alone in an argument and says, "nothing will change my mind". You are so convinced that you're right, despite your utter failure in every department.

You need to grow up before you think about settling down.

[MrLoyal]

why would you not take advice from the demographic you're targeting? unless I'm confused here and you date men.

Women have no idea what they truly want. Therefore why would a man listen to them? You would have better luck asking a man who is successful with women.

Anyway fans and haters. I'm not replying to this thread anymore. Goodnight all sorry to love you and leave you xoxo try not to be too butt hurt yeah?

[hatesthis]

@ TheEvilJester..
For me I personally do not like to go out for dinner on first dates it makes me feel too awkward especially if they are paying for the dinner. I would much prefer movie and drinks after, not eating at all unless some small popcorn and pepsi at the movie, lol. I enjoyed going to mini golf and concerts previously on first dates, or to the beach in summer and get an ice cream after.