She's pregnant, I'm not with her, should I be?

[sailorjerry1986]

So, I wasn't looking for anything serious, neither was she apparently. It started to get serious in August of last year. At this point we had been seeing each other for 5 months. I broke things off, but, informed her a couple weeks later it would be nice if we could be friends with benefits. I'm 1) an idiot, because my roommates ( also close friends) could tell she was crazy about me. And 2) shouldn't have been doing that, however, she came over a couple times, and then in october around the 15th, she let me know she was pregnant. We hadn't had sex in 35-45 days. We were both pretty irresponsible and never used condoms, but she was on the pill. This is where things lose me:

I told her we should remain friends, and figure things out later. She agreed. Our priority should be the child, and I would support her. I'm surprised she hasn't stabbed me, because I've dated around a fair amount since she's been pregnant, and have been pretty much, the same man I've always been; a player. I have commitment issues, and I know this.

Loren is beautiful, ( a model), has a stable job, is by FAR the most level headed, even- keel, sensible woman I have EVER met, will be a wonderful mother, is smart, confident, and INCREDIBLY patient. I can't think of a reason I wouldn't want to be with her, except I'm a fitness fanatic, and she isn't at all. Literally thats it. Incredibly vain, I know.

Long story short, I wasn't ready for a commitment, but she's due June 18, and I'm already crazy about my son. I want to be a good father, but just never felt deep down Loren was the girl for me. I don't even know if she would still have me, but she's a wonderful person. Should I try and make things work, and give it an honest chance? I just can't seem to stop dating…. It's like, the only thing I've ever done. I'm an intelligent man, but I have played the field my entire life, and LOVE women, and love being single, but, this changes a lot. Some people have advised me to stay single, to put off dating for awhile, and to even make her my woman again. I don't know what to do, because I don't want to hurt her again. She deserves better than that, but we are stuck together.

One final kicker: she's from Florida, and I fear she will move home soon. As it stands, my mom asked her to move in with her, so my "baby mama" and my "mama" are going to be roommates. This is a little concerning. Seriously, I never post here, but anything will help. Thanks.

[edwardsla]

two words hell yes

[basilandthyme]

Have you noticed that in your post, you didn't make one mention of what she may want?

[sailorjerry1986]

I can tell from her instagram and Facebook posts that she wants to be with me. I think she always has. The people that have seen us together all tell me, " dude, that girl loves you". I've broken her trust, yes, but, she at least 6 months ago wanted the security of being with the father of the child she's bearing. Regardless, I'm asking for advice.

[lalalita]

No. Do not be with her. You will be an awful partner because you feel obliged. She's not "the one".

[basilandthyme]

No, you shouldn't be with her. She deserves a guy who doesn't have to ask this question.

[sailorjerry1986]

Something a little more helpful please.

[nico88]

Don't get back with her just because she's having your kid. It wouldn't be fair to her. She sounds like the total package to me and if you can't see that then you definitely don't deserve her. Sounds like your one of those people who need to be single forever. Be there for your son and be there for Loren when she needs a break and make sure you're there for her financially. Babies ain't cheap..

[Stay 2gether]

Hello just wanted to say that honesty with yourself is the 1st step and it seems that you have passed that 1. Also maybe you should just try to focus on being a parent rite now and then take your time to figure out wtakhat it is that you think you are missing? obviously you think you are missing something which is why you like to play but also want her to be your girl; one thing to remember that if you do think that she is really the one for you remember that nobody waits on anybody forever and now days are getting shorter so with that being said i would try to see if maybe she would be willinbg to go through counceling with you maybe she has things to work out as well. Well glad to know that we have some people out there that can still be real with themselves take care and enjoy! get back to me and let me know how things go im wishing yall the best!

[sailorjerry1986]

thanks "stay 2gether", and nico88. Very helpful… I just need to pull my head out of my ass.

[nico88]

Happens to all of us at some point. And I seriously get why you'd feel pressured to be with this girl because of the circumstances but, if you were and it was for the wrong reasons, you'd both end up completely miserable and thats no environment to raise a kid in. The only thing to do right now is to just be a man and be that father your son is gunna need in his life.

[basilandthyme]

Something a little more helpful please.

Sorry, perhaps I should have spelled it out for you. The fact that you need to ask the question means that you don't have the gut feeling that being together will be good and right and will be wonderful. If in doubt, don't.

[Starnique]

Something a little more helpful please.

You got some helpful advise. Utilize it.

No, you shouldn't be with her. She deserves a guy who doesn't have to ask this question.

This is right.

[michelle23]

Some men make really bad partners but that doesnt mean you cant be a good dad. Keep contact with her to a minimum whilst being there for your kid. Its the best way but just realize shes going to meet someone at some point and you cannot allow your jealousy/insecurity to get in the way of that when it does happen.

Deep down you probably know shes the best you can have but are you the best she can have?? No.. so let her be happy with someone who actually wants monogamy

[chinagirl]

Just be a good father to your kid and be supportive to the mother of your child. As for being together, I don't think you two should. You said it yourself, you like being single.

Don't do it for the sake of the child or you'll end up breaking up again or getting divorced if you decide to get married.

Figure out what you really want first, then make a decision.