needs closure, should i contact him?

[dollface143]

I was talking to a guy for 8 1/2 months, we finally met in August of last year and after we met that day we exchanged a few texts and all of a sudden we stopped talking to one another. After we met that day, he went to Miami the following weekend and texted me saying MIA was amazing and all texted back saying "I'm glad you had a great time". I also wished his niece a happy birthday within that same text. After those exchange of texts, I don't know what happened till this day I feel like I want closure since we never ended things or discussed our meeting which was so weird. I am pretty prideful so that is why I never texted him back and I am sure he is too. I don't know if I should e-mail him and maybe get the closer I want but is it too late? It does bother me because I would like to know what happened, I would be at ease. We had a great connection during those 8 months and we were into each other. When we met, we roamed around the city and talked, it was a good time. I don't want to look like an idiot by contacting him after so long, I'm stuck.

What do you think? Should I contact him and see how he's doing & take it from there? Thoughts?

[dave4472]

No don't bother contacting him anymore. I've had some email/text friendships and sometimes when we have finally met the attraction I thought was there was not. So I basically lost interest although I would never come out directly and say so as I didn't want to hurt any feelings. I'd just let things fade away quietly and then disappear. As cold as it sounds, I think this is what happened here. Don't let it upset you or bug you, no point in chasing someone who's not interested.

[snckrs]

Thats some of the problems with Email/txting relationships. I agree with Dave4472. I was also in a relationship of this type. We were great till we met, then she drifted away from me. Okay so she drifted away quickly, but you get my point. I was left in the situation you are in and would txt her and she just wouldnt answer. I would have rather not contacted her at all. So my suggestion is for you to just move on. It may be hard, but its for the best.

[Wakeup]

I was talking to a guy for 8 1/2 months, we finally met in August of last year and after we met that day we exchanged a few texts and all of a sudden we stopped talking to one another. After we met that day, he went to Miami the following weekend and texted me saying MIA was amazing and all texted back saying "I'm glad you had a great time". I also wished his niece a happy birthday within that same text. After those exchange of texts, I don't know what happened till this day I feel like I want closure since we never ended things or discussed our meeting which was so weird. I am pretty prideful so that is why I never texted him back and I am sure he is too. I don't know if I should e-mail him and maybe get the closer I want but is it too late? It does bother me because I would like to know what happened, I would be at ease. We had a great connection during those 8 months and we were into each other. When we met, we roamed around the city and talked, it was a good time. I don't want to look like an idiot by contacting him after so long, I'm stuck.

What do you think? Should I contact him and see how he's doing & take it from there? Thoughts?

Its been almost a year since you last talked to him and I find it a tad disconcerting that you're still thinking of a guy that you had one date with and then he disappeared on you.

Don't contact him. It is disrespectful to yourself to do that. He gave you closure. His silence is speaking to you loud and clear and it's telling you that your online chemistry did not pan out in real life and that he was too much of a coward to tell you that.

Next time don't spend so much time chatting back and forth because it gives you a false sense of knowing him and liking him better then you actually do.

You cannot count the 8 months that you talked to him as a "great connection" all it was was the two of you being able to hold a conversation based on words without action. Words without action are simply words without substance to back them up.

Stop wasting time thinking about him and get yourself out there to find someone and if you're doing it online then meet quickly and get to know them in person where you'll see in actions whether or not the value you.

- - - Updated - - -

No don't bother contacting him anymore. I've had some email/text friendships and sometimes when we have finally met the attraction I thought was there was not. So I basically lost interest although I would never come out directly and say so as I didn't want to hurt any feelings. I'd just let things fade away quietly and then disappear.

Well you can see by this thread that fading away (when there has been romantic pursuit, not simple friendship) is just as (or even more) hurtful then just telling someone that you don't see a compatibility and you wish them luck in their search.

[smackie9]

You hanging onto hope this long, only after meeting once tells me you have very little experience with relationships or guys in general. Stop being desperate and move on. This guy has bumped you out of his life, forget about him and get busy with life.

[hatesthis]

For me I wouldn't bother since so much time has passed between the last conversations and also since you only knew each other for a short amount of time less than a year and only met once. But if it gives you peace and stops the nagging question of "why..? what happened?" then text him if his number is the same as previously when you talked but if he does not reply do not send anything else his way. I had a much longer relationship that reached engagement and I still never got the full truth off him probably never will, some people men and woman want the easy way out, no questions ask they just go.