Why hasn't he said "I love you" yet?

[colemansara176]

Hello, so I'm just going to get straight to the point. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months now. Everything is going VERY well. I've never been so happy with anyone else. He makes me feel special and he is so sweet. He compliments me all the time and he respects me and is such a gentleman. We can talk about anything and we have the same sense of humor which is fantastic. I've had a lot going on with my home life recently and he has always been there for me. All of our friends are constantly telling us how cute we are and they are jealous of how happy we are together. Now, I know that he's a shy guy and has a hard time vocalizing his feelings but he usually does a good job with compliments and being sweet. My question is, why hasn't he said he loves me yet? I know he has to feel it, even though he hasn't said it he definitely SHOWS that he cares greatly about me. My friend said something to him about when he was going to drop the "L" word and his response was "that's big". Could he love me? If he does why hasn't he said it yet? And if he doesn't will he ever? Does he not believe in love? Or is he scared of the commitment that might come with the word? I just need a guys opinion on the matter. Thanks.

[Wakeup]

My question is. If you love him, why haven't you told him yet?

P.S. That was totally inappropriate and NONE of your friends business to be asking your boyfriend when he was going drop the "L" word. How old are you guys?

[bessieb]

I have been with my boyfriend for two years and it took him over a year to tell me that he loves me, he is also a shy guy and has trouble vocalising his feelings or any emotions to be honest, he is getting better but it still makes him squirm. I feel loved when with him and now he has said, I love you, I know it too.

Hang in there, some guys just aren't very comfortable with stuff, my advice, don't push him into a corner and don't pressurise him into saying something he's not quite ready to say

[nickg1970]

5 months is nothing, he may be waiting for you to say it. If it feels good, stick with it and see what happens, its still early days so just enjoy it.....and best of luck!

[smackie9]

Is it really that important to you? He treats you right, I think that is more than what most people are getting that come here.

[michelle23]

Its not a big deal really. Everything is good and hes happy with you. He shows through his actions that he is crazy about you so stop over thinking it and enjoy it. You are still in the honeymoon phase. Things normally change after 6+ months so give it another few months to ensure you are truly compatible

[colemansara176]

Thanks guys. I guess I was just so caught up in the words themselves, you know what they say... "actions speak louder than words". And Wakeup, we are only 20 so we're both young and I guess I always thought that the guy has to say "I love you" first. Maybe that was true a long time ago but times have changed. I mean, he doesn't like to admit it but TECHNICALLY I made the first move! I guess I can say this first too.

[searock]

He is telling you that he loves you through actions and behaviors, rather than words. Does he know how important it is to you to hear those three words? I think you should let him know that to you, words are just as important as actions when it comes to expressing emotions. You can take the 5 languages of love test, and have him take it as well - it's likely that you express your love in different ways, you just have to learn how to understand each other.

Anyway, I wouldn't worry, if everything is going great. On one hand he's very shy when it comes to verbalizing his feelings, and on the other hand he probably places a LOT of importance on the word "love", so he wants to be super extra sure of "being in love" before saying it. Which is tricky, because seeing as he's so inexperienced he probably confuses "being in love" with "being infatuated", and it's highly unlikely that he will ever be more infatuated with you than he was at the beginning of the relationship. So basically you'll just have to wait until he grows up a bit and realizes what "being in love" actually means. You should also let him know that to you, words are very important as a means of expressing your reciprocal feelings. You can do this both by telling him and by showing him, by telling him that you love him. It doesn't matter who says it first - or even if he doesn't say it back, as long as he shows you with actions that he feels the same way.