Nightmare
I went to sleep around 2am yesterday and I had trouble falling asleep (rarely happens) and I knew I had only 5 hours to sleep, so I really tried. But betraying thoughts kept popping into my head.
I woke up in the middly of the night because I had a nightmare - I woke up in tears and immediately I started crying, it's just that horrible feeling I got for a minute there. As if I were back a year ago. I just remembered all the humiliation, pain, desperation, and betrayal I had to go through. I am SO over this, and I am not even sorry for myself (well, considering the fact that at one point I stopped eating for a week there, I am), but it's the overall, hideous feeling.
I have it all. Including kino.