Is this stalking or just coincidence?

[violet11]

Cheers Violet.

I found it interesting that you battled with him to reagin your self esteem. What exactly do you mean by this. Would you advise to confront her or suck it up & move on?

I have never spoken to her again since we split & would like to give her a piece of my mind. Thing is I don't want it to come across as me being bitter. I know there is a few things I could say to her to give her a reality check.

She has next to no money, lives in a crappy apartment with semi dodgy neighbours doesn't own anything apart from a crappy car & I always wondered why she had to live week by week & rely on her ex for support financially & she has always worked full time? Though when I was with her I never judged or questioned her about this.

I'm sure if she met someone her age in her position she wouldn't be impressed & would probably let them know about it lol

Well… most people would tell you that with narcs you should just ignore them…

But in my case, I gave him hell. I said loads of things to him, but the overriding message was that I thought he was a bad person. I knew that was the worst thing I could say to him, so I was being manipulative.

Then we made friends for a while, but he kept trying to bring me down (devalue me) again, so in the end I had to play the "you're a bad person" card again, and then I completely cut him off. I ignored his messages, or if I did reply, it was just to repeat that I didn't want to know him. Weirdly, I completely ended up shifting the situation because now he still wants my friendship, and I want nothing to do with him. In a way, I've become the narc

Sooo… I would say, if you want to give her a piece of your mind, you should. Maybe you need to do it to help you get over her.

Unfortunately normal confrontation doesn't work with these people. If you just vent at her she will just discard you again and you'll feel even worse. You will have to be a bit manipulative. You'll need to provoke her. You need to say something that will make her want to change your opinion of her.

Or you could let it go. BUt from everything I read, the people who did this, never really recovered. To get over the experience, you need to get out of victim mode. Most people never leave it.

[smiling100]

Cheers Violet

I would prefer to move on & not speak to her again however if I ever see her in public & she says hi ill probably let her have it. I know things I could say to her that's the truth & would cut. Thing is I'm not that type of person. I want to say it to her nicely not in an angry tone.

I'm sure we will cross paths eventually. Only time will tell

[smiling100]

I've seen to make loads of progress this month.

So glad I never said anything to her.



Yipeeeeee!!!