No Sex but show's affection?

[Jbanks]

Hi, I hate to be one of these one time poster's but I'm lost with what to do. My mates advice if just typical bloke advice such as 'bin her off mate' so i cant really talk to them about it.

I'm currently in a 6 month relationship with my girlfriend. I am 26 and she is 23. As always things were merry at first but lately something just isn't right. I have that dreaded pit in the bottom of my stomach and it wont go away.

We use to have amazing sex. all the time but its now been two months since anything. when were out she will always go to hold my hand and when were sitting down watching telly she will show affection from the small things like resting her legs on mine or clinging on to my arm and cuddling. In bed when we sleep she always cuddles up to me or holds my hand and falls asleep.

Where it has been so long I have lost all my confidants in making a move and I feel she has too but that is not the only problem. if, when i do pluck up the courage and move my hands close to her sexual parts she flinches for a second and defers the situation, then next thing i know im getting kicked back on the sly.

Here's the reasons that I've been given so far which in all fairness sound valid.
1. She's on medication (happy pills) because she had slight bi-polar. Nothing crazy, more of split personalty on rare occasions.
2. She is in her final year of Uni and has exams coming up very soon so the stress is building up.
3. One of her close family friends is in hospital with cancer so she has been down recently.
4. She said because i don't make a move she feels its my fault too (even though i bend over backwards for her) but i can understand that too due to my lack of confidence.

My reasons for doubt are;
1. She went out one night and stayed at her friends and i never heard from her till lunchtime the next day. (sex had stopped since then)
2. I had seen messages on her Facebook where another bloke was flirting with her. (she didn't really flirt back but she has a dry/sarcastic SOH)
3. she has changed her appearance such as getting her eyebrows done, her hair, nails, and even wearing more sexy underwear.
4. correlating to the above, when i see her she jumps out of everything and gets in a onsey. which after a long day i can understand but still.
5. Today i confronted her as to why she had deleted messages to a work bloke.

She had done it before to the same person but when ever he's texts there is no flirting or kisses just talking about work etc and house moving. I asked her why she has deleted the conversation and she just said it was irreverent, so i asked her to scroll down to her older messages and said why have you not deleted them. She just started rolling her eyes, manipulated the situation and made me sound crazy and just said I dunno will you drop your crazy (she's very intelligent)

I am actually going crazy from this and I can see how mad i must look if there really isn't a problem, but it just doesn't add up. the no sex is driving me insane, the show of affection is confusing the life out of me and my trust is becoming weaker and weaker.

I do love her and she tells me all the time too but i cant get this feeling out of my stomach.

My gut tells me something has happened which she regrets. When i was much younger i cheated on a girl and acted the same way she is. i loved her and knew i messed up so tried to fix it but the guilt overpowered my efforts and we parted.

Am I being a complete paranoid freak here or should I have reason to think something is not right?

Also one last thing, we went gym together this morning, got back and had some banter/joke's, she got in the bath then when she got out she sat on my lap in her towel and kissed me. As I was leaving she said, I really love you with a big hug and said let me know what you doing later, if your'e free. come over and stay but not in that way, because its that time of the month ha. I'm so confused

[Boisdevie]

Why not just be honest with her. Tell her the lack of a sex life is making you extremely unhappy and if things don't change then you'll end the relationship. It really can be that simple. Communication. Communication. Communication.

[HeartIsAching]

The "one night out with a 'friend' " after which physical intimacy stopped... is a HUGE red flag.

The fact that she is deleting messages from ANYBODY is also a huge red flag.

BUT - Why are you invading her privacy? Distrust on that level is not conducive to sustaining a relationship. She could be deleting innocuous messages because her jealous boyfriend might take them wrong - the red flags could be because of you.

Man... seriously. I know the unlock code for my wife's phone, I know her email password. Hell, I know her passwords and the variations she's likely to use, and I DON'T EVER go into her stuff and check her activities out. I just don't, because I trust her.

[Jbanks]

I have sat down on numerous occasions to talk about the no sex situation to which she has apologized for and said the reasons i listed above. I've told her how unhappy and unhealthy it is and have said in the past such as last week that I'm going to take a step back because this is becoming to much for me. She changed her tune and said why? why do you need too, i don't want you too, I have so much going on at the moment.

The one night out with a friend was her girl mate, they had a work night out and she just crashed at hers. when she rang the following day i could hear her friend in the back and knew she was there because she has cats and i could hear them meowing, but I still believe that maybe someone had gone back as well and she rang when they left. Paranoid again? I could well be, but its still fishy.

As for invading her privacy, I have never been down her iPhone, nor do I plan to or want too. The only reason I knew she deleted the messages because he had texted her and she opened it in front of me as she was laying on me. I could see there was no old messages. I knew she had texted him before because i sat there last week and showed me his messages. He had just broken up with his girlfriend and she was showing me what he was saying and wondered what I thought.

The only reason i can think she has deleted them is because she might of spoke about our 'issue' to him and didn't want me to see what she had said. Its just peculiar that they are deleted when i see her for the last 3 occasions but yet doesn't hide or be sneaky on her phone when I'm round hers. I asked her strait away about it and she dismissed it and was like 'oh god its nothing, don't worry about it'

I trust her that she is not flirting with him and don't think anything is going but i do believe something happened in the past(not with him) which is why the sex has stopped.

As far as I see it, when the sex stops, something is not right. but with the show of affection still mixes things up and confuses me even more.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Your blokes are right. Bin her off. I could see if there was something worth saving here, but its time to stop being such a bitch.

[Boisdevie]

I have sat down on numerous occasions to talk about the no sex situation to which she has apologized for and said the reasons i listed above. I've told her how unhappy and unhealthy it is and have said in the past such as last week that I'm going to take a step back because this is becoming to much for me.

You've explained how you feel and nothing has changed has it? She is taking the piss and isnt taking you seriously. Stop being a pussy and dump her as this situation is not going to get better.