He's abandoned me without a reason and I have no where to go

[michelle23]

Stop being a doormat and stop hoping you can win him back with sex. Hes treated you horribly and you should have more self respect. Either get a job there or go home and do it asap. Stop depending on men. You need to learn to stand on your own two feet. You are allowing yourself to be v vulnerable by letting someone else support you financially. Many men will take advantage of that and treat you like a slave who doesnt deserve their respect. Hes treating you this way now because he can. If you had a job, money and somewhere else to go-he would never get away with being so cruel and you wouldnt tolerate it.

Feminists didnt go to all that trouble for no reason. I will never understand women like you who still allow a man to control you and abuse their power over you by being the "bread winner". Get a f**king job and grow a backbone.

Find the money to go home. Do you really want a man who picks you up and drops you whebever it suits him, dangles you on a string like a puppet, abuses you, controls you and uses your lack of independance as a tool to torture you? He sounds narcissistic and you would be a fool to stay there another minute

[chinagirl]

You don't have to say what you did for a living, but let me point out that the sacrifice you made of quitting your job may be worthy of gratitude relatively to what your job was...

I mean, if you quit being a doctor or an engineer to be with Josh to support him, and then turns out Josh treats you this way, then yeah he is an ass for not appreciating what you did for him. But if you quit being a waitress to come live with him, then the situation is very different.

That's total BS. You may be able to quantify money but you cannot put a value on the time, effort and sacrifice that this girl made by moving to another country with this man.

Are you trying to say that if she made $100,000 a year, it's not right to abuse her, but if she only made 10,000 a year, that gives the guy the right to treat her like a rug because she really did not give up that much?

Bottom line is, no one has the right to abuse anyone. I agree that she needs a job to support herself so she can stand up against a**holes like him.

[Satina]

Are you trying to say that if she made $100,000 a year, it's not right to abuse her, but if she only made 10,000 a year, that gives the guy the right to treat her like a rug because she really did not give up that much?

No, abuse is never okay, no matter the situation.

[Wakeup]

he really wanted you gone, he would've paid for your ticket back home.

... False logic ... Logical fallacy ...

If he asks you to leave knowing damn well you can't afford it, then surely he has to allow you some time to find a job and save up the money. I don't see how he can refuse that,

Look harder. He "says" he's going to just leave the apartment and her to fend for herself. I suspect that will give her about three months of a roof over her head before the landlord starts proceedings to have her evicted (if its the same there as it is here). She could get some sort of cash job and save for a ticket home to G-Ma instead of relying on HIM once again to support her.

[woody]

A few days in, maybe she's figured it out by now but I was under the impression that both of them invested equal parts into that house of theirs. True, she NEEDS to get an income going so she's got legs to move but if they did invest together, is it not fair that at least he buys her part out?
It's a sh__ty situation no matter how you chop it up. I hope it all works out.

[Oddball]

Well, if you must leave and it sure sounds like it don't worry so much about belongings. You can get more stuff. I've lost all of my stuff multiple times in life. I raised 4 kids, had houses full of furniture, cars, kitchen stuff and all the junk that goes with it. I now live alone in a small room about the size of the average bathroom and could carry most everything I own on my back. If your reason for not leaving is your stuff, forget about it. You can accumulate more junk in less than a year.

[bekho]

Swedes have quite cold personalities. They aren't very expressive and they are often quite conservative. ...but anyway. I think its sad what's happened between you too and I hope it works out in the end...often, moving in together can be a tough period of adjustment. Perhaps he's learned more about himself after being with you, and he's realised that he can't take care of you the way you deserve?

Nothing in relationships is as black and white as what some posters would like to believe. Figure out how much you'd like to change and what you're willing to change to be happy. We can't fix all problems, we can only ever try our best.

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk

[smackie9]

Cut your losses call up grammy to forward you some money for a ticket home. There done.

[KingZ]

Guys, we could be a little more constructive, here.

OK, so there are a few things that we don't know. We don't know why he's behaving like an insane person, we don't know if there's another woman involved, and so on. Fortunately, none of these variables are really a factor at all.

The very first thing you need to do is accept that the relationship is over. The damage done by him is lethal to the relationship; it's already been tarnished and thrown away. Even if you could reverse the damage, would you really want to? There's no sense in putting yourself through emotional roller coasters like this.

I think what follows is the exact same procedure as with any breakup; the country/location doesn't affect this. You need to realize that the closer are you to him, geographically, the more you're poisoning yourself. Being anywhere near him is absolutely toxic, so you need to get out of there, and fast. Think of him like a hot stove; if you continue pressing your hand against it, it's going to burn, and perhaps result in permanent trauma if you keep playing with it.

If you don't have any money, hit up every resource you have at your disposal. Friends, family, grandma... Anything will help at this point. The last resort here is to be around him in the house. If you're forced to stay in the house, just keep away from him. Don't speak to him, don't provoke him, and do not ask him any questions. Just get your things together and get ready to leave. Whether that's somewhere in Sweden, or back in the US, it doesn't matter.

You're going to need to start putting your life back together, as quickly as you can. This is a very traumatic experience for you, no doubt, and it's going to feel like there's a huge hole. Get yourself a social circle, start exercising daily, and get financial support somehow. Ideally, that would be a job.

Don't abuse any drugs, and just try to stay focused. You're in the middle of a crisis and as difficult as it may be, you need to rationally come up with solutions, here.

[IndiReloaded]

As KZ said:

1. Gather your resources & support
2. Get away from him
3. Become self-supporting so that you are never in this situation again

Do this as quickly as you can. Be grateful you don't have children. Good luck.

[rest77]

Stop being a doormat and stop hoping you can win him back with sex. Hes treated you horribly and you should have more self respect. Either get a job there or go home and do it asap. Stop depending on men. You need to learn to stand on your own two feet. You are allowing yourself to be v vulnerable by letting someone else support you financially. Many men will take advantage of that and treat you like a slave who doesnt deserve their respect. Hes treating you this way now because he can. If you had a job, money and somewhere else to go-he would never get away with being so cruel and you wouldnt tolerate it.

Feminists didnt go to all that trouble for no reason. I will never understand women like you who still allow a man to control you and abuse their power over you by being the "bread winner". Get a f**king job and grow a backbone.

Find the money to go home. Do you really want a man who picks you up and drops you whebever it suits him, dangles you on a string like a puppet, abuses you, controls you and uses your lack of independance as a tool to torture you? He sounds narcissistic and you would be a fool to stay there another minute

@Michelle23 Amen!

[solsupreme]

Something is wrong with him mentally, he seems very bipolar. Not a very stable person to be with if he is gonna leave you high and dry

[basilandthyme]

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