Originally Posted by
Evejones
I guess I'm just hoping for a change, he's currently waiting on a operation and does suffer with pain, I take all that into account and am hoping that once he's had surgery that things will improve in that department, I just don't know what is down to lack of interest, pain or just plain low sex drive. I'm just at a point where I don't know what to do.
No, you "don't take all that into consideration" if you're still wanting to get all your self-esteem through his sexual attention to you. If he's in pain, (finally THAT came out) then perhaps that is why he's not sussed to fvck? Perhaps he's got low testosterone levels maybe he's vitamin D deficient from staying in doors all the time and never getting any sun. (Is it white and pasty in skin tone?) Besides, what man is motivated to do anything BUT game if/when that's all he's been doing?
All that aside. I suggest you encourage him to get his hormone levels tested and then tell him that you'll not be giving him head anymore since he's not into doing you that favour. That his lack of libido is not cutting it and that you're packing up and leaving unless he gets himself to the doctor and then to a therapist if need be to help him with his lack of response to a willing woman.
If you stay with him, YOU WILL cheat on him. I can tell because you get your self-worth from what sexual attention you receive and if you're not getting any from him, you will soon enough get it from someone else. Please don't take offense or defence. The chances are much higher that you will stray then that you will not. You may say you wouldn't but you'll likely fall into something and have the "I never meant for it to go this far" thingy going on.
Good luck, speak to him about going to the doctor first and also talk to him about what ACTUALLY does turn him on. Perhaps dress up just doesn't do anything for him.
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I'll add that if he's on pain meds or any kind of anti-depressant then his sex drive very well may be affected by those.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion