Work & Romance... Is This NORMAL? GUYS help!

[universelife]

Hi, The BF and I have been dating for over a year, have a wonderful relationship with up and downs like every relationship mostly because his communications problems coming from a rough childhood but I accepted him the way he is... We have so much fun together, we laugh and laugh all the time, we have such an incredible chemistry is ridiculous! He is been great with me all this time, attentive, protective, affectionate, caring, he always makes me happy when i have a bad day, I do the same for him.. we are so happy together. Until.........................Out of the blue he starts telling me how stressed out he is feeling and complaining about having serious problems related to work and dealing with lawyers. I offered support like we both always do when we need each other. Didn't hear from him for a whole day (we used to talk everyday) and text each other through out the day many times. So a day passed and I texted him:

ME: "are you ok"
HIM: "no, I am not ok. I'm stressing out, I am sorry I cant talk"
ME: "I feel you are pushing me away"
HIM :"Im sorry , i know i am. I need to find a solution to this problem and don't want anybody's advice or judgement, i will contact you soon"

Two days after i get a long email from him. He basically said that he wanted to email me prior having a conversation, that he knows I am upset for the lack of communication on his part but he had to travel to visit several offices around the country to see how the problem is going to be solved and that he doesn't have the time to give me the attention nor the time that I deserve...not right now.that this was going to be a very difficult month for him and that when all this gets resolved he hopes i still want to talk to him.

I never responded to his email. Yes, he is right I am upset thats why I didnt answer.

Its been a month. I haven't heard from him either. How I do feel? Some days are good, most of the days I am sad because I miss him, because we had a beautiful relationship. Upset because he shut me off I know I sound like a lunatic but every day is different. I really don't know what to think or do.

Thoughts?

Thank you all for listening.

[smackie9]

Well it could be he could be in trouble meaning something is going down that would find himself in jail, or he's hooked up with someone he works with or an LDR, gave you a song and dance, in hopes you would dump him because he's a coward.

I wouldn't tolerate it. I would have written him off.

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Why I say that? because if you really meant something to him he would have turned to you for support, not ditching you......it's a fail.

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If it doesn't feel right, that's because it's not.

[surfhb2]

He basically broke up with you but was too much of a pussy to tell you straight up. Im sorry

[bekho]

No no no

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[bekho]

When he's stressed out about work stuff, the last thing he needs is to deal with your emotions and drama and how your needs aren't being met. You should be less selfish and be more understanding. give him the space he deserves. If I was him and I was super stressed out, having already explained to my gf the situation, if she gives me the cold shoulder because of it I would think a) what a selfish bitch to only think about herself and B) she's so needy and flaky.

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[universelife]

Bekho,

I didnt respond to the email because I am upset he didnt want to talk to me instead sends me an email like I am a total stranger.

I have always supported him in everything, he knows I am the most giving person.

[universelife]

Well it could be he could be in trouble meaning something is going down that would find himself in jail, or he's hooked up with someone he works with or an LDR, gave you a song and dance, in hopes you would dump him because he's a coward.

I wouldn't tolerate it. I would have written him off.

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Why I say that? because if you really meant something to him he would have turned to you for support, not ditching you......it's a fail.

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If it doesn't feel right, that's because it's not.

Yeah it doesnt feel right....

[michelle23]

When he's stressed out about work stuff, the last thing he needs is to deal with your emotions and drama and how your needs aren't being met. You should be less selfish and be more understanding. give him the space he deserves. If I was him and I was super stressed out, having already explained to my gf the situation, if she gives me the cold shoulder because of it I would think a) what a selfish bitch to only think about herself and B) she's so needy and flaky.

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Seriously? What planet do you live on?

OP this is unacceptable. Take it that the relationship is over and start moving on. If he comes back ignore him. If any man is committed to you then they dont disappear for a month no matter how stressed they are.

[bekho]

Don't do what the above poster suggests. Its typical passive aggressive BS that accomplishes nothing but furthers any misunderstandings. Please do not expect your mind to be read. All that has happened so far is that he has written you an e-mail telling u his situation and you have not responded. If u don't communicate it's always your fault. Reply to his email at least. Its so disrespectful.

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[universelife]

Bekho,

Prior receiving that email. I called him, texted him many times to make sure he was ok he replied asking me to leave him alone in a polite way. The he emailes me to confirm that he needs to be alone solving his problems. He is pushing me away, how is disrespectful from em not to answer his email?

Please explain because I am confuse and I might be dealing with problems in the wrong way? Thank you

[bekho]

OK my personal experience when ive been through some tough situations in life - exams or deadlines etc. Some of those things you can only deal with alone. When I have free time I loved to spend all my time around my gf. Talking texting hanging out etc... But when u have to work and live life, well, there has to be a balance. He's going through a tough time now. Hes told u about it, so just let him handle it. All u need to say is i miss you, when wil this situation finish. Its ok i understand ill wait for you.

I don't really understand why you're thinking about dumping him? Or thinking that he's dumping you.

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[searock]

Why were you in a long-distance relationship?

[universelife]

long distance relationship? why would you think that?

we live in the same city.

[searock]

Because you talked about talking on the phone and texting, rather than actually talking face to face. I got the impression that you were in an LDR, or that at least you don't see each other often enough. Discussing serious issues via phone or text is not a good idea when you can have a face to face conversation.

[universelife]

searock,

I a sorry for the confusion. We used to see each other 3x a week, and some weekends he is with his kids some other weekends he works or we spend time together. But we always communicate via phone during the day texts or calls

What happened is that day he got bad news about his business, some major issues work related too long too explain, is when he started to push me away *(you read my post) that was the last communication we had via phone and the email a couple days after...