If a men can get a lot of women, will he have a lot of women?

[1989]

*If a man...( not men). *

Sounds like a question that's easy to answer. But I'm just wondering because, in all honesty, it seems like the ones who want to 'settle down' are either past their prime, or have never been confident or good looking enough to be too picky.

From my own experience, and seriously without trying to sound like I'm big headed, there are quite a few guys who are showing me interest in me, and that the ones who want a relationship and are making more effort are either really not very confident or are not very attractive. Whereas the ones who just want sex and make less effort romantically seem to be attractive and very confident.

So I guess my question really is: Are these less-attractive, less-confident (LALC) (only in my opinion, of course) men wanting to settle down because they think they can't get better? If they were more attractive, more confident (MAMC), would they want to sleep around like the others want to? If so, why are LALC men seen as 'good guys' or 'guys with good intentions', when really, if they could get more, they would. They're, in actuality, fulfilling their needs as much as they can, just as guys who can and do sleep around do. Wouldn't the LALC men do what the MAMC men do if they could?

[surfhb2]

How old are we talking here?

[searock]

My long-term boyfriend is confident and attractive. Your argument is invalid.

Seriously though, I don't think it has anything to do with attractiveness or confidence, it has to do with what someone wants in some particular period of his life. There are plenty of confident and attractive guys that prefer to be in a committed long term relationship rather than have casual sex with many different women (not that there's anything wrong with that of course). There are also plenty of un-confident and non conventionally attractive men who prefer to have casual sex with many different women, rather than to be in a committed long term relationship. I don't think such guys would actually try to get into an exclusive relationship because they think they can't do "better". If someone tries to get into an exclusive relationship, it's because to him, an exclusive relationship is better.

Perhaps it is you who finds guys that sleep around more confident and attractive.

[michelle23]

My bf is v attractive and confident and hes never slept around. I actually know a lot of attractive men who don't. IMO its the insecure ones who do that

[bekho]

It has nothing to do with being insecure or secure. As both can either sleep around or be in committed relationships. Its like saying secure people can raise pets but insecure like make model aeroplanes.

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[bekho]

Maybe they are all the same. But you are attracted to assholes that just want your ass?

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[bekho]

Also. I think a lot of guys and girls don't know what side of the beauty scale they're on.

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[bekho]

So you'd be surprised how many ugly short bald dudes try to get pussy in nightclubs

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[bekho]

I think what determines your readiness to be a player vs wanting to be in committed relationships depend on how much experience and how much of a psychopath you are. When they gain more experience with the opposite sex and they start learning how to manipulate people into getting what they want, they end up doing just that. Ugly handsome low confidence high confidence people can all be players or long term relationshipers

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[bekho]

Also... Pre existing moral and belief system plays a part too.

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[bekho]

Simply. Is it right or wrong to do this kind of thing? People have different views.

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[suddenlynothing]

Short answer no

Long answer, I am that man and I haven't had a lot of women......because I'm an idiot and I don't understand flirting

[HeartIsAching]

Wow... OP, you have a really dim view of men.

[KingZ]

*If a man...( not men). *

Sounds like a question that's easy to answer. But I'm just wondering because, in all honesty, it seems like the ones who want to 'settle down' are either past their prime, or have never been confident or good looking enough to be too picky.

From my own experience, and seriously without trying to sound like I'm big headed, there are quite a few guys who are showing me interest in me, and that the ones who want a relationship and are making more effort are either really not very confident or are not very attractive. Whereas the ones who just want sex and make less effort romantically seem to be attractive and very confident.

So I guess my question really is: Are these less-attractive, less-confident (LALC) (only in my opinion, of course) men wanting to settle down because they think they can't get better? If they were more attractive, more confident (MAMC), would they want to sleep around like the others want to? If so, why are LALC men seen as 'good guys' or 'guys with good intentions', when really, if they could get more, they would. They're, in actuality, fulfilling their needs as much as they can, just as guys who can and do sleep around do. Wouldn't the LALC men do what the MAMC men do if they could?

Hah, what a wonderful coincidence! I'm very confident and very attractive, and I wouldn't use you for more than a single night. (Also, I wouldn't call.)

What are the odds, huh?!

[dem862]

There is no necessary connection. Your conclusion does not follow to form a logical argument. And empirically, your sample is too small to draw a quantitative conclusion. It merely shows that you are attracted to men who sleep with many women. It also shows that you confuse confidence with running a good game. I think it is safe to extrapolate that you will have a difficult love life with men who cheat on you.