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Thread: 4 year rut :(

  1. #1
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    4 year rut :(

    Well yesterday marked 4 years since i've been on a date or had anything close to a relationship and yeah it sucks. I'm 28 and i've never actually been in a real relationship (last date the girl only liked me a friend anyway and nothing else), been trying OLD for almost two years now which seems to be a strange lottery or game. I have a small social circle and can be rather socially awkward, nobody available at work or among my friends, it just seems i look around me and everyone seems to have someone and i think, is there something wrong with me? what i am doing wrong?
    Sorry to rant, just a rather gloomy anniversary that has left be a bit low

  2. #2
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    get on plenty of fish, get out there man and get some vagina. Im just like you, but just try otherwise it wont happen

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    Happy Anniversary!

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    um, yeah thanks hope that is sarcasm

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    Quote Originally Posted by FAndrews View Post
    um, yeah thanks hope that is sarcasm
    Yes... it's a bit of humour that hopefully you, yourself got a chuckle out of.

    How about you give us a run-down of what you've actually done to help yourself meet single women that would be as interested in meeting new people as you would be?
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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    and yes the humour was appreciated mainly just online dating and recently a few singles nights. i have a small social circle and can be a bit socially awkward so i usually avoid the pub\clubbing scene.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FAndrews View Post
    and yes the humour was appreciated mainly just online dating and recently a few singles nights. i have a small social circle and can be a bit socially awkward so i usually avoid the pub\clubbing scene.
    Unless you work on yourself and find a solution to your social awkwardness nothing will change. Work on YOU and the rest will follow.

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    How about people who are in your social circle - do they have more expierience or sucsess than you? You could ask for advice on girls someone who are where you wana to be. Also where in England do you live? Can you get to London? You know you could actually save up few hundreats and get profesional help on your awkardness. Im talking about dating coaches. You could do well with a good wingman who would push you and give some advice. But it still depends on you - you have to want it.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

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    Yes i do want it, I'm just trying to find ways to make that happen, its been simply too long for me and something has to change I've just got to work out the best way of doing that. i think my social awkwardness is a combination of my learning condition (Dyspraxia) and self-esteem issues so i know what the cause is, not sure about the idea of a dating coach, though i might be in the process of getting a wingman though (Sunday club friend I've talked into going into singles nights with me, but we have yet to go to one) but yeah its all positive suggestions, so thanks.

  10. #10
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    Good man,hope it works out for you in a club.

    I mentioned London cause there are special companies who works with guys like you. For example SashaPua.com and Kezia Noble. You can watch youtube videos and decide who you like better.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

  11. #11
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    I've just got to try new things and options, coaching is one option i guess, maybe in the future when i can afford it. these suggestions are all very helpful and any more comments or ideas would be great

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    you should make friends with girls.

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    Once you succeed, the failures will not matter.
    Always remember that YOU are the most important person in your world.

  14. #14
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    AnErin: that is very true and partly what keeps me going

    goodmorning: As one of only two male staff where i work (care worker in an elderly care home) i have plenty of female work friends, sadly none are single or my own age (i think I'm the only single person at work) though i am intending to hopefully change my job as that is causing all manner of other problems. not many outside of work though, need to work on that.

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    Probably better to get in a relationship with soemone out of the office. Things go bad then you are stuck seeing them every day. There are a ton of single woman out there wanting guys. Man just got to single nite and you will be the center of attention. Don't be so picky at first. Just go to a bar watch the ladies sitting there not talking and go say hi and offer to by them a drink.

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