What should i do?

[payaya]

Hey all im new to this forum, and i guess it could help me immensly in my personal life. My girlfreind and I broke up around 2 months ago after being in a realtionship together for about 10 months. Well it was a mutual thing, we didnt want to lose each other to fighting, as we were doing it a lot. So we decided to give the relationship a rest, and just become freinds. We talked about just being freinds thing, and how we believe we'll act when around each other, like not kiss people of the opposite sex, when both of us are around each other. Well the friendship thing did work for a while, around 2 weeks, but the more i saw her, the more i missed her, and i made thing very arkward around each other, when we were with our friends. It gave me a sence that im nothing to her anymore, and looked like she was glad to get rid of me. But the thing was, i got really jealous when i saw her talking and flirting around other guys. I was with a fair amount of girls as well. Well i thought she was over me, three weeks after breaking up, i see her kissing another guy when i was around! It really pissed me off! I sent her a text message when i left, "Number 1 rule not to break when your just ex is around, dont kiss other guys!". Well she sent me messages back and she was really sad and she didnt want to lose me. She rang me after the messages and was crying really hard, saying she still loves me, wants to be with me again and doesnt want to lose me. Well i told her i didnt want to be freinds cause she hurt me, and i need time to work things out. Well that time is 20th of next month. What gets me mad is, she knew i was around, still loves me a lot, then goes and kisses another guy? Her excuse? too drunk and misses having me around. Thats why she went for a guy. I later on find out, that she use to tell me that she hated this guy, and wish he would **** off! Now why would she goes for him? I dunno im lost! Should i be friends with her or not?

very confused thanks

[IceQueen]

You can only be a friend to your ex when you are over her. I mean, [i:cf6df7a934]completely[/i:cf6df7a934] over her. That doesn't usually happen within 2 months after the breakup, especially if you continue seeing and talking to each other!

Yes, I understand why you came up with that stupid, ridiculous rule about not kissing other people in front of each other. You obviously wanted to protect your ego. But do you even understand what true friendship means? Do you tell your other friends whom to kiss and whom not to kiss, whether they do it in front of you, or at all? You can't be friends with her (or anyone else for that matter), if you want to control their actions.

Guess what? All her crying and telling you how much she loves you is nothing more than the logical consequences of the massive guilt trip you laid on her. It is in no way indicative of what she really feels towards you.

I suggest that you take at least 6 months away from each other, because that's the only way to determine where your true feelings lie. That means, no calling, and no text messages, IM, e-mail or otherwise. And if, by that time, you are not even a bit squeamish when she kisses other guys in front of you (and same applies to her), go ahead and be friends. Because she will date other guys. You will date other girls. And there's no way the friendship will work out if you both feel comfortable with each other's freedom of love.

And by the way, by no means should you try and get back together. The fact that you were fighting and arguing all the time while you were still in a relationship, doesn't say much for you compatibility.

[payaya]

[quote:e8d02e98bf="IceQueen"]You can only be a friend to your ex when you are over her. I mean, [i:e8d02e98bf]completely[/i:e8d02e98bf] over her. That doesn't usually happen within 2 months after the breakup, especially if you continue seeing and talking to each other!

Yes, I understand why you came up with that stupid, ridiculous rule about not kissing other people in front of each other. You obviously wanted to protect your ego. But do you even understand what true friendship means? Do you tell your other friends whom to kiss and whom not to kiss, whether they do it in front of you, or at all? You can't be friends with her (or anyone else for that matter), if you want to control their actions.

Guess what? All her crying and telling you how much she loves you is nothing more than the logical consequences of the massive guilt trip you laid on her. It is in no way indicative of what she really feels towards you.

I suggest that you take at least 6 months away from each other, because that's the only way to determine where your true feelings lie. That means, no calling, and no text messages, IM, e-mail or otherwise. And if, by that time, you are not even a bit squeamish when she kisses other guys in front of you (and same applies to her), go ahead and be friends. Because she will date other guys. You will date other girls. And there's no way the friendship will work out if you both feel comfortable with each other's freedom of love.

And by the way, by no means should you try and get back together. The fact that you were fighting and arguing all the time while you were still in a relationship, doesn't say much for you compatibility.[/quote:e8d02e98bf]

the funny thing is, she mentioned that rule not me. So she was the one who told me!

go figure