Support group

[quarax]

Im gonna quote this statement which is shockingly true and accurate about my situation: this is a repost that im spreading throughout forums to get more people
Most men fail to realise that their relationship has ended. They still behave as if they are a couple when their girlfriend has split up with them. This is usually because it is a "surprise". What you need to realise is that your girlfriend has been thinking about this for AGES. She hasn't suddenly broken up with you, she has thought about it in private, and probably done a lot of crying and emotional stuff behind your back. Whatever the situation - your relationship has changed completely

I literally cried when I saw that very post, she told me about all those stuff I highlighted there. Especially the part about crying and being emotional behind my back. I failed to recognize her, even though I can feel the aura and her changing attitude. I didn't do anything to change It or ask her about It until the day she finally burst out. I thought that she will consult me about our problems(I am too confident to not discuss our problems, thinking that we could always surpass all of It whatever happens in any given situation), sort It out(which I am always willing and she knows It very well), and forgive ourselves for our wrongs(I forgive her, understand her, and wanted to fix our relationship. But on the other hand, my girlfriend did the opposite). Its my wrong to the very core to not recognize her. I got confident that whatever happens, we will come out strong. I was so wrong. It was only me who thinks like that, In my back she's very weak and fragile about It. She can't handle It. She's not as strong as I thought about her.

My situation from that very day she left, is that she left for another man. Though she insisted It was not the case, more like Its a counter action for my actions. She cried, telling me that Its all because of me. She said that I didn't value her. I got no time for her, no attention for her, just simply no care. Then we go spitted out everything we're holding in ourselves. I told her what she did wrong, she told me what I did wrong. She cried again, feeling bad for what she did. She told me that she loved me so much, even with my shortcomings she didn't bother about It. We were both at our highest emotional state that time, I cried bursting that I love her so much and this is so unreal. I can usually hold back my emotions but I just got soo vulnerable. But I got some very valuable information out of It(especially If your purpose is to rekindle things), that she herself is not sure how she feels about It(her new interest) and but she is sure that she feels nothing anymore towards me(literally said It, that's probably the worst things that I could ever hear in 2014 for sure). In the end, she wants to see whats gonna happen first. Leaving the door open for me, anytime. I know the feel when someone shut you out completely, my 1st girlfriend did this. Been probably 5 years now and no word from her from the very day she left me. And our relationship is on a much different scale, we were bestfriends for 2 years and went out for 2 years. Total shut out right there.

And now here I am, alone and waiting for time to fix my wrongs. Cause we all know that even If we changed, became a better person, aware of our wrongs and fixing(or probably fixed It already), Its always up to our ex-lovers to decide If they're coming back or not. It sucks, knowing to ourselves that even If we truly and deeply love them, we cant give It to them.

I truly believed(solidified this belief after my 2nd relationship failure) and based on my experience, there will always be the strong and the weak in a relationship. Much like a mentor and disciple relationship. We(the disciple) trust, believe and inspire in them because they proved themselves(the mentor) as capable, understanding, and enthusiastic. Putting It in a mentor and disciple situation, as the mentor who did wrong and made mistake, do you really think your disciple will approach you about It? No, cause they believe in you and you're an inspiration to them. And If you keep on repeating your mistakes and still go on like nothing, ultimately the disciple will look for another mentor. As they've lose hope and trust in you. And once and each time the strong shows weakness, faults, and any ill movements, the weak will instantly doubt. Why is he acting like this? why is he not doing this? why is he not this and that. They will not even consult you about It, instead they will sulk on It privately and decide things on their own.

Thats the sad thing here. We are suppose to be in a love relationship, where we grow,learn and provide each other. Not a mentor-disciple relationship where you can as easily replace the mentor and look for another mentor just because he's doing bad. I cant blame my generation but I kinda believe now that the "romantic passion" is truly gone. Thanks, 21st century! So right now, we people in the dumpsters, have no choice but to cope with our lovers. Especially to those, me included, who are still fighting to rekindle the love.

Id like to have a support group in this thread, where we can share and update our situations. The things we do to rekindle the relationships. Id like to share what I do to my current situation though Id like to hear from others first.

[basilandthyme]

Quarax, I think your whole idea about relationships is weird. That whole Mentor-disciple thing? It's doomed from the outset because of emotional/intellectual inequality. Perhaps if you tried dating someone who was your equal, you may have better luck.

Regarding the comments about your generation, I think you're quite wrong. I'm Gen X and from my observation, Gen Y and Z are more conservative than we were. Wondering what your knowledge of previous generations and romance/sex is?