Hi all,
I hope you can offer me some advice. Around 10 months ago I discovered my partner of 7 years with whom I live with and have two very small children with was having an affair which had been going on for some time. It was denied at the time and I was called all the usual names ‘liar’, ‘paranoid’ etc but I trusted what my gut instinct was telling me and delved deeper in the end finding out from her phone about the sexual relationship she had with another man whilst I was at home with the children. She was telling me she was going out with friends and in reality was hooking up at cheap hotels for sex with this man (several of the messages I read was enquiring about the hotel location and what he was going to do to her). She even brought him back to the family home while I was at work. He's even played with my children at times.
She is 10 years my junior and an excellent mother in truth but the affair has ruined our relationship which is beyond reconciliation. It was devastating for me at the time because the man she had an affair with was everything I was not. He’s tall, good-looking, party-animal type of guy her own age. Despite my families insistence that I kick her out of the family home I agreed to let her stay until such a time as she could be on her own two feet but it was mainly down to the children who are both so young. 10 months on and I have slept on the couch ever since she is finally in the process of getting accommodation sorted which is local to me. It has been difficult because I am very much a family man and knowing what the children are going to be put through hurts deeply. I have been carrying around a lot of anger towards my ex-partner over the affair which isn’t healthy but I agreed to be amicable for the children’s sake although at times its hard not to blurt something out in anger.
Right now she is still living under my roof (and I’m still on the couch) and she has been going out recently and my gut instinct started kicking into overdrive again. So I checked on the facebook page of the man she had an affair with and there on the cover image is a picture of her kissing him and recently. It was a night she was going out with her ‘friends’ and the picture was uploaded 2 weeks ago.
My question really, should I just accept and move on to the fact that she is still meeting up with the guy who broke our family up?
Or should I tell her I’ve seen the picture and in my opinion you shouldn’t kick a man when he’s down especially when he’s been so accommodating and when you’re still living under his roof. To me it tells me what she really thinks of me and I feel the need to say something but am struggling with the words.