How does one know the difference between love or lust?

[I am Andrew]

I'm in love with a girl, I believe it's sincere but I just want to make sure that I'm not just obsessing or lust.
As all humans and with our hormones in order to reproduce, we have to feel "attraction" or "stimulation".
I'm not going to lie, I watch pornography, but who doesn't?
I stare at the odd occasional woman, thinking "Oh yeah, she's gorgeous", but, this 1 particular lady whom I admire and care for and believe I love is the only one I want to be with, marry, have kids.
Even the thought of her just being sad or unwell never mind being in danger or dying, I'd be there for, even if she was far away and it meant me walking miles bare footed, I'd swim the international oceans, climb mountains just to be near her to make sure she wouldn't have to suffer because, I believe that my heart was made to beat for her. Is this real love? Tell me, I know I sound like a loser and I'm sorry but I have to know.

[birdofparadise]

What you describe does not sound like lust. You have a physical attraction for her, but you express deeper feelings. You care about her, not just getting "together" with her. Don't fault yourself for enjoying looking at other women. You are human. If you weren't physically attracted to women, you wouldn't be attracted to "her". It is what you do with these feelings that matters. Enjoy looking, just don't let it become an obsession.

How long have you been together? What do you know about her? Do you have fun together out of the sac? Do you share many interests? Do you talk? Do you laugh? Do you think about her throughout the day? When you are apart, do you miss her? What color are her eyes? What is her favorite color? What is her middle name? What was her most embarrassing moment? If you can answer these things, you may be in love

[HeartIsAching]

What you describe is not love - but infatuation... with a healthy dose of lust.

try getting to know her.

[I am Andrew]

What you describe is not love - but infatuation... with a healthy dose of lust.

try getting to know her.

I do know, lol she ain't some stranger and I ain't stalking her, she's my best friend. I've known her for a long time. She's the most wonderful girl you'd ever meet. She cares for sick people, she's strong willed, independent, funny, cute, absolutely stunning. We also share the sane interests. I would show you a photograph of her, but not sure she'd be comfortable with me sharing her pictures online. But she is really special. To me at least.

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How long have you been together? We're not together, she's a friend/work colleague.

What do you know about her? She's allergic to animals and flowers but loves them. She has an addiction to hot food and cheese. She has a strange sense of humour. She is always honest and straight forward. Shes clean and tidy.

Do you have fun together out of the sac? Pretty much, there's always a banter or a pun when we're out and we enjoy teasing one and another.

Do you share many interests? Yes. Read the 2nd question.

Do you talk? Do you laugh? Mhm, almost every day!

Do you think about her throughout the day? Every second I breathe, with every heart beat that pumps through my chest.

When you are apart, do you miss her? Lots! It's embarrassing but she's on away on vacation and I've cried a lot so far when I think about her.

What color are her eyes? Chocolate brown. They're tiny and adorable!

What is her favorite color? Blue, white and red because she's half European and proud of it, LOL!!

What is her middle name? Can't say, for her privacy and respect but it begins with M.

What was her most embarrassing moment? When I tease her.

[pcmaster]

If you have sex with a person and afterwards loose interest then it is lust. But if you want be around even without sex or afterwards then it is love.

Basicaly love is when you are sure you dont want any other dick to touch her.

[searock]

Andrew, does she know how you feel about her? I think you should let her know, some of the best relationships start off as friendships .

[Mattiemae]

Really the difference is what you just described. If you have the intentions of just being a wild animal and having sex that is lust. It really is your intentions and motives. What do you feel about her? What does your emotions say about her? What does your heart say? Love comes from the heart! Not your eye sight. Lust is having a good time, and not giving a rip of the outcome. Side candy! Having a trophy on your arm. It sounds like you have good motives and intentions from what you wrote. Some people believe in soul connections. Intimacy, love, respect, and the pull is very strong about having a healthy and stable relationship. Really the fittest pick the fittest. Love is not based on fear! It's a different ball game than lust. 100% from both sides. You're all the way in the relationship, or just in it for what you can get versus what you can both give? What you can both bring to the relationship is a positive if you search for more than lust or self gratification.

[searock]

To answer your question, I agree with HIA: what you described is neither lust nor love, it is infatuation (which amongst other things includes some lust). Nothing bad with it, just know that it's a volatile feeling and that if you do start a relationship with her, you won't feel like this forever. Eventually the feelings of "butterflies in the stomach" become less intense and what you feel gradually becomes romantic love.

[Wakeup]

If you're not having sex with her then you're her GIRLFRIEND with dangly bits.

Question: Why have you NOT advanced your "friend" relationship to a romantic one? Is she not feeling you?

Some of the best friendships make the best relationships when you've not allowed her to make you her male girlfriend. How long have you been pining for her without asking her out on a date or how long ago did she tell you that she only sees you as a platonic "buddy?"

More info needed.

[I am Andrew]

I admitted that I'm infatuated with her but I don't want to be obsessed and I care about. There's another thread I posted about her, with me wishing she'd noticed me more. She knows how I feel. We almost kissed when we were watching a movie together but she was waiting for me to make the first move but I was too nervous and then she was feeling tired and feel asleep next to me. I was so close. She knows I want to date her. I want to be with her but I want to make sure I'm good enough first and that I make right decisions first. Hence why I'm here with all of you asking for help and advice. I know most of you dislike me and stuff, I'm sorry if my existence petties you and or you if you think I'm a lousy human being whom may never make it in life but everyone deserves love and I mean everyone so not just me, I am just merely looking for advice but if you don't know what to offer me then it's okay and I appreciate whatever you've done even if you haven't even said anything.

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@searock

Oh yeah, I do get jealous when other guys hit on her but I try not to let it get to me because I know that if I do develop a relationship with her, I've gotta earn her trust.

[basilandthyme]

Love is somewhat calmer than infatuation. It's when the butterflies in your stomach have faded and is replaced with something deeper but more mellow.

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I want to be with her but I want to make sure I'm good enough first and that I make right decisions first. <snip> I know that if I do develop a relationship with her, I've gotta earn her trust.

While you're making sure you're good enough and developing trust, some other guy is gonna swoop in and get her. If you want something, you have to strike while you have the opportunity.

If she's as great as you say she is, you have competition and you need to get her first.

[searock]

I agree with basil, make a move right now. Don't wait or she'll lose interest. Kiss her.

[hatesthis]

To me love you care about them really care and worry about and want to talk and see them - isn't have ****ing them or having sexual thoughts only about how they look, how they dress, how sexy their voice is it is about who they are and how they make you feel, which is good and happy. To me that is love, the rest is lust. Love makes you smile thinking about them, lust makes you touch, lol.

[Wakeup]

I admitted that I'm infatuated with her but I don't want to be obsessed and I care about. There's another thread I posted about her, with me wishing she'd noticed me more. She knows how I feel. We almost kissed when we were watching a movie together but she was waiting for me to make the first move but I was too nervous and then she was feeling tired and feel asleep next to me. I was so close. She knows I want to date her.

Do it man, and stop being so intimidated by her and stop asking US what YOU should do when it's totally obvious but you're just too afraid so you say things like "I want to make sure I'm good enough for her." pffft.

Man up and get it done!