Strange turn of events

[Smila]

Ladies, i need you take on this..

I met this lady at a house party in which we hit it off. At first i was skeptical, but when she decided to give me her number out of the blue, i was "okay, lets see how this goes". I and my friends leave the house party and then head downtown to a couple of Bars, i check my phone and there is a text from her--she is texted saying she enjoyed our encounter..i reciprocated and we had a couple of back and forth. In the end, she ended up leaving the house party to come meet me in the bar. We talked, danced and it was fun. We ended up kissing (a couple of times) and then we left --I asked her if i could come to her place that night, but she explained why it would not be a good idea. i agreed.

The next day, she texted and i replied and we continued this back and forth. We met for lunch during the week during which she greeted me with a kiss. We talked often on the phone. Everything was going smoothly.

On Valentine's day, i gave her some flowers (No Red's just White and Pink (to avoid being creepy))..took her out to go see a movie, had dinner and checked out a couple of bars where she introduced me to a couple of her friends. I dropped her at her home and drove back to my place.

After that she insisted that she wanted us to meet again, and this time, i wanted to switch things up (i felt that the restaurant/bar scene was kind of overused)...i decided to cook for her (and mind you i am a very good cook of outlandish foods) my place where we could enjoy our own company and have some good wine. I told her and she decided that it was a good idea..we decided on the time(texts); after which she called and we talked for like 20 mins during which we had our usual laughs and all.

The next day, i got a text from her during noon that she was sick with a sore throat and she wanted to take a rain-check on our meet in the evening. i was concerned as she said she was sick. i tried enquiring what was wrong, but this time, her text were not as immediate as before (previously, she replied within minutes) it took hours..

I called her - no answer (coming from someone who always insisted that i call her instead of texts). I sent another text and after a couple of hours she replied that she was getting better - her fever had gone, that she was making soup, that she would be fine.

I had this suspicious feeling that she may not have been ill-but i was not sure. Later in the day, i called her twice to checkup and she did not answer the phone. I was confused and shocked.

two days later, she updated her Facebook timeline ...i was like "seriously? she does realize she added me on Facebook and i can see these updates". If she could update her FB why could she not text back to at least tell me that she was ok, considering the fact that i was showing concern.

Funny thing was that i actually started liking her and i thought she did. My gut feeling tells me that maybe she did not want to come to my place (We are not kids) Both of us are in our 30's and i expect that if there is something that she is not comfortable with she should make it known.

This is crazy..because on the night before, she was open to the idea and we spoke about it at length and she was excited about the visit. So why this sudden change?
Maybe i could be over-reacting. Maybe she wants to step back and think the whole thing through, or maybe she was ill and does not want to be around me when she is ill. Its been 3 days...but this is coming from someone who for the past week was always bombarding my phone with text and calls....and then now, no communication. I want to make sense of it all.

Ladies what do you think?

[LittleMadam]

She may have been dating a few people, which isnt abnormal.

It might be that she likes another man better.
Or she may actually be ill. I dont see how that stops texts though.

Either way, whatever it is with her. My advise to you would be to stop calling/texting her. Completely move on from her, and hopefully she gets in touch.

Going to your house may have made her see how 'real' this all is and she may be having a think about it all.

Definitely just leave her be though.

[Smila]

Thanks for your point of view...

I feel the same...

If she was ill, i don't see how that stops the texts...even though it was a fever...

I stopped contacting her after those last two calls like 3 days ago..

I have a bit of experience with scenarios similar to this (but not one with this abrupt change in behavior..i mean most times, you get to see some patterns before things like this happen)..the key which is....DEFINITELY GIVE HER SPACE--NO CALLS OR TEXTS...

You maybe right about her having a rethink, anyways...the ball is in her court....i have done all i can....

[vashti]

I don't know why she has fallen off the face of the planet, but here's a thought I had: If I am really sick, I do NOT want to talk or text anyone, and I would find repeated messages annoying.

[surfhb2]

The old I'm Sick routine huh?

Face it....she just lost interest for whatever reason. This is normal in dating.

[Smila]

but you would feel healthy enough to update your FB.....Did you miss that?

- - - Updated - - -

The old I'm Sick routine huh?

Face it....she just lost interest for whatever reason. This is normal in dating.

my 6th sense tells me this...(or is it 7th)..but a sudden loss of interest in the space of a night?

- - - Updated - - -

I don't know why she has fallen off the face of the planet, but here's a thought I had: If I am really sick, I do NOT want to talk or text anyone, and I would find repeated messages annoying.

but what if in your sickness, you still had the strength to post Facebook updates?

[vashti]

... and I would find demands for explanations and accounting for my time from someone whom I was NOT in a monogamous relationship with to be a deal-breaker.

Listen, you don't sound like you are creepy, or like you did anything wrong. It just wasn't a match. Try not to get yourself so emotionally invested so quickly.

[Smila]

... and I would find demands for explanations and accounting for my time from someone whom I was NOT in a monogamous relationship with to be a deal-breaker.

Listen, you don't sound like you are creepy, or like you did anything wrong. It just wasn't a match. Try not to get yourself so emotionally invested so quickly.

Trust me, i've been through this rodeo before....i know when the ship has sailed and it did after my last call...(no hard feelings whatsoever) just trying to make sense of it all and see if there are lessons to be learned for my future endeavors...
As a matter of fact she was the one who updated me about her movements the week prior...picture this scenario {I just got home, Im heading to the office, I am going out for coffee with friends, I have a meeting in a couple of minutes, what are you up to, how is your day going}.....