crying in front of girlfriend

[smackie9]

My husbad was in way worse finacial situation, about to lose his job, court case pending, lawyer fees, credit card dept, and not once did I see him cry about it. so stfu.

Younger generation was never taught coping skills, to pull up your damn boot straps and just deal with it.

[Mattiemae]

Always liked that phrase! "Pull your self up by the boot straps." Physically it is impossible if you ever tried it! Just saying! lol
Those aren't coping skills. That is stuff emotions, and feelings inside! Not very healthy! That was the old school thinking! Yes we are going into a time where we don't have to do that anymore! Really it's how people get in trouble with depression, and abuse. Stuffing away everything, ignoring things, and perhaps people survive that way, but also ends up coming out like a volcano burning everyone else around you through child abuse, domestic violence etc, and then use addictions to suppress their feelings and get through the day. Why we have so many alcoholics, gamblers, substance abuse addictions. Exactly why people cope just stuff it all inside and get over it! Not to mention those that end up harming themselves because they need to get their crap together. In other words Tough love that turns abusive.

Nothing wrong with tough love, but even those camps come out more depressed, and attempt suicide because they're never good enough, perfect enough, and you get one that really is an authoritarian and abusive, even if you have changed and got your stuff together, will still have that person pushing for tough love even if the changes have been made. Sorry don't mean to offend you smackie, but this is part of the reason we have problems in our society! Just pull yourself up by the boot straps, suck it up, and suck it in, while you may be breathing, and alive their are still consequences with holding in all your emotions and feelings. It's not weak for people to express themselves, in any emotion. It's better to let it out, instead of let it build up and harm themselves or someone else.

Authoratative yes with positive criticism: Tough love works! Those people won't say suck it up!

[KingZ]

My husbad was in way worse finacial situation, about to lose his job, court case pending, lawyer fees, credit card dept, and not once did I see him cry about it. so stfu.

Younger generation was never taught coping skills, to pull up your damn boot straps and just deal with it.

Smackie, you are old as fu​ck if you think that crying for 15 minutes is mutually exclusive with being dependable and perfectly capable of solving the problem.

Of course, Mattie has to come in here and type massive paragraphs that nobody will read. Pretty standard LF thread.

[Starnique]

You both need to be slapped in the mouth with a dick.

Maybe so. It's been a while but It wont be your dick. Could never be lets get that str8.

I don't look it at like, oh shit he's a man and crying. That has nothing to do with it. My point is similar to Smackie's. When shit gets rough, I need you to handle it. Not have an emotional breakdown and crying over things all the time, like life obstacles would worry m.

[Mattiemae]

Waffle: We get hungry every time you post! So where's the syrup! lol

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[smackie9]

No it's better to "channel" the energy to solving the problem, instead of sitting in a puddle of tears from holding it in. Mommy coddled the boy...prob a single mom.

[vashti]

What the hell?

No. It's perfectly acceptable for someone to cry, regardless of their gender.

The stupidity of this question is exceeded only by the stupidity of every response so far after it. (except HIA's)

Eh, stop your crying and whining.

[KingZ]

Eh, stop your crying and whining.

I back you in the other thread, and this is how you repay me?

I see how it is.

[basilandthyme]

What are with all these gender comparisons? I'm female and while I do get a bit moist in the eyes at a sad movie, I've only had a proper cry over one event in a large number of years. And that was when my beloved old dog got put down.

I think you'll find there's a large number of girls out there who don't cry often either.

[ingalls]

some of you guys are evil

[vashti]

I back you in the other thread, and this is how you repay me?

I see how it is.

You backed me because I was right, and when you are, I will return the favor.

I still love you, though. Happy Valentine's Day.

[KingZ]

After all these years, you haven't yet figured out I'm always right?

:D Happy Valentine's.

[smackie9]

some of you guys are evil

make sure you tell your friends.

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[dickriculous]

It depends. Are you crying and doing nothing else about it? If so then you are a bitch.

On the other hand, are you crying how ever many tears you have to get out until you can pull yourself together and get your ass in gear to overcome whatever setback it was that had you in tears in the first place? That's a little different.

When you experience a setback and start crying over it that means you've taken a fall. Taking a fall is only something to be ashamed of if you stay down. Get back up and make another stand and it's all good imo.

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Maybe so. It's been a while but It wont be your dick. Could never be lets get that str8.

I don't look it at like, oh shit he's a man and crying. That has nothing to do with it. My point is similar to Smackie's. When shit gets rough, I need you to handle it. Not have an emotional breakdown and crying over things all the time, like life obstacles would worry m.

So is it crying that turns you off or is it not being able to take care of business when things get rough? You sound judgmental of a man crying yet your rationale behind it has to do with something completely different.

What if you had to choose between A) a guy who cries when he has to dig himself out of a hole but goes ahead and gets himself out of the hole anyway, or B) A guy who doesn't cry when he has to dig himself out of the same hole hole but can't get himself out if his life depends on it?

[michelle23]

Everyone cries. Its normal. Its a release-some people cry more than others. Its not a big deal really.. Ive only seen my bf cry once in 5 years and that was when we almost split up. Hes seen me cry a thousand times-not over small things though-mainly over people close to me dying. When I lost my job, my car, had to downgrade to a different house etc-I didnt cry. I still havn't cried-theres no point. Crying solves nothing. I just need to keep going and find a new job.. ill be fine

But if crying helps you occassionally-go ahead. Its nothing to be ashamed of. Some people like to punch walls, some take drugs.. some drink themselves stupid.. crying on someones shoulder is healthier than doing that