Are all men the same?

[skeeziix]

I don’t know how men think they can be in relationships when they act the way they do anymore. Technology has made it way to easy for men to be sleazy voyeuristic perverts, degrading women to nothing more than a piece of meat not worthy of two slices of bread. Internet and mobile social media is becoming my number one deal breaker with most men. You and your gadgets prove just how unworthy and untrustworthy you are. I don’t want to be in a relationship where I have to monitor and control my boyfriend ensuring I am for your eyes only and not the million other women on the internet. Porn has become so mainstream it is talked about and flashed over the dinner table like everyone has lost all their morals. I mean what is acceptable now may not mean it isn’t wrong; who is to say what is right or wrong anymore? I mean if the majority of men are doing all these degrading things and so many women are making it all to easy who is to be the judge?

I’d like to say if my boyfriend doesn’t want me doing it then he shouldn’t be doing it either, but men lie and hide shit until their blue in the face… even with the evidence and the browser history to prove it. Anymore, I feel like it would be easier for me to NOT be in a relationship then to try to be in one with a male, unfortunately lesbian is not an option for me. ****. I am so sick and tired of finding shit and feeling hurt by the actions of my boyfriends. I am sorry if I don’t want you looking at other women, masturbating to porn, SnapChatting, and Facebooking other bimbos. When I say something about it to try to understand you I get lied to, hurt, and then finally pissed off. You turn around and throw my feelings back in my face as if I am insecure and jealous, or crazy? Maybe I am ****ing crazy to try to be in a ****ing stable loving healthy relationship with someone whom I love and respect, whom I want to feel safe in loving me.

Anymore, I think if you can’t beat them join em. I will show you what it feels like to be made an option to my other fetishes, as I self-gratify and find less and less need to give you the things you desire because you have become common and comfortable. I will treat you like a second rate human because you have a penis, I am sorry dear there are more dicks in the sea. See here on my mobile phone how many slimy bastards are waiting in line for me. Trust me honey I have more options in the 5 minutes you walk out that door than you do in the next 5 years; you want to see my options well they are wide ****ing open now.

I am done caring and putting my heart and emotions on the line. My ****ing sanity. Men are simply incapable of thinking about anything past their penis, emotions to them are foreign ground and any sign of them is weakness. Well, I am sorry if I did ****ing care now I don’t. You can have your masturbation, your voyeuristic sleaze, your incapability to be faithful reliable and truthful. I am done. I am worthy of a trusting loving healthy supportive relationship with a man who loves me and only me, who thinks of me and only me, who wants me and only me. As I write this I know you don’t exist. The fastest way to get over one douchebag ex is to move on to the next douchebag, soon to be ex.

[Boisdevie]

Sorry, and your question was?

Listen girly, if you truly believe that all men are lying cunts then stay single the rest of your life and buy yourself a cat and a vibrator. Meanwhile back here in the real world we realise that some people are a bit shall mentally challenged because they seem to have poor judgement when it comes to choosing a partner. There are nice men out there just like there are women out there capable of parking a car correctly. The secret is to have the experience and judgement to find them. To follow your analogy, if I bought a car that turned out to be crap wouln't it be my fault for being unable to distinguish between a decent car and a piece of junk?

[basilandthyme]

Skeeziix, I'm a woman and I think you're full of shit. I'll have my lovely man and you can take Boisdevie's advice and buy a cat and a vibrator.

[toknow]

Good points, Skeeziix

[michelle23]

If you keep falling for lying sacks of s**t then the common denominator is YOU. You need to change your type and get better taste in men. Some men are honest and trustworthy but unfortunately so many women want a challenge or someone they can "change" or "fix" and they usually learn the hard way the only person they can ever change is themselves. You cannot control the people around you-all you can do it set your own standards and boundaries and go looking for the best thing you can find BUT if you are very insecure-most decent men will run a mile from you.

It is also not a crime for your boyfriend to occasionally glance at another woman. Just coz he is with you-doesn't make him blind and you need to get over your insecurity in that regard. If I see a pretty dress or a nice pair of shoes-I am going to look at them-just like if I see a beautiful person (man or woman), I am going to think that person is very pretty/handsome.. or if I see a person that looks a complete mess, I am going to be thinking "oh I would love to give them a makeover. We all have eyes so it is unrealistic to expect him to look at the floor ever time a pretty girl is on tv or walking down the street. If you were confident you would say to him "she is very pretty isn't she" and be secure in the knowledge that he is with you coz you are the BEST for HIM...

Trying to have too much control, invading his privacy, questioning his every move and driving him insane is going to push him as far away as possible and the next woman will be a breath of fresh air so just bear that in mind. I honestly think the untrustworthy losers are a minority. There are more decent men in the world than a**holes and a minority make them all look bad. Most the guys I know are decent so don't tar them all with the same brush just coz you had a few bad experiences.

[LittleFox]

basilandthyme, Boisdevie, what are you doing?? The way you reply seems like you take this so personally, like someone has told you that you or your partner is untrustworthy! All you can do is say so smart judgement, how this person is this and that.
Maybe she doesn't need your sarcastic advice or attacks, because.. hmm.. wonder why she is so angry? maybe because she is hurt?
We all have some areas in life that are our weaknesses, so do not pretend like she has some huge problems or she is mentally challenged. Like we all, we need some challenges in life to understand things better. That is normal. So put that smart judgement in trash next time, and try to understand first and maybe even support.

[Boisdevie]

II will treat you like a second rate human because you have a penis
Men are simply incapable of thinking about anything past their penis, emotions to them are foreign ground and any sign of them is weakness.

Just wanted to say a big thanks for the sexist comments. It sounds like you're hurting at the moment. Good.

[basilandthyme]

basilandthyme, Boisdevie, what are you doing?? The way you reply seems like you take this so personally, like someone has told you that you or your partner is untrustworthy! All you can do is say so smart judgement, how this person is this and that.
Maybe she doesn't need your sarcastic advice or attacks, because.. hmm.. wonder why she is so angry? maybe because she is hurt?
We all have some areas in life that are our weaknesses, so do not pretend like she has some huge problems or she is mentally challenged. Like we all, we need some challenges in life to understand things better. That is normal. So put that smart judgement in trash next time, and try to understand first and maybe even support.

Sorry Littlefox, I guess I was harsh. Thing is though, I get really annoyed when people create their own problems and then paint the whole opposite sex as the spawn of the devil.

For the past year the OP has been raising endless red flags about her boyfriend. We've advised her to stop complaining about him, recognise that he's no good and ditch him for the best part of a year. Yet she ignores our advice was now recently starting to call him a fiance. We've advised that she needs to look into her controlling, insecure and co-dependent behaviour. If she'd taken the advise she asked for a year ago, he would have been out of her life without causing more than a ripple of angst.

The OP needs to recognise that she is the one who's creating her own problems. Her picker is broken, she ignores the advice she asks for, she stays with people she shouldn't and then starts slamming all men because of it. That's simply not cool.

[Kromat83]

if women didn't give in to their bullshit and didn't believe in everything they said, they would be better off.

You like the thrill, so you go after the womenizers, abusers, because you've made it too easy for them.

Instead of them being a challenge to get to know, maybe your standards need to improve and not go after someone because of the way they look.

Same goes for woman, as we'll probably approach someone that is good looking, but we'll decide if we see it worthy of a relationship or just shag and forget her.

I personally would rather share my emotions, but most men go by this notion.
Your just attracting the wrong men because that is what you choose and probably hang out around the same environment all the time, so try some new hobbies to meet different people.

[searock]

It's so sad that in English speaking countries cats are often associated with loneliness and craziness D:

[Kromat83]

I also thought of pets in terms of people.
Single women get cats, and when they are in a relationship a dog is more appropriate when they are together and eventually have kids, because at least dogs are more emotional and happy to see their owner(s).

[LittleFox]

Sorry Littlefox, I guess I was harsh. Thing is though, I get really annoyed when people create their own problems and then paint the whole opposite sex as the spawn of the devil.

For the past year the OP has been raising endless red flags about her boyfriend. We've advised her to stop complaining about him, recognise that he's no good and ditch him for the best part of a year. Yet she ignores our advice was now recently starting to call him a fiance. We've advised that she needs to look into her controlling, insecure and co-dependent behaviour. If she'd taken the advise she asked for a year ago, he would have been out of her life without causing more than a ripple of angst.

The OP needs to recognise that she is the one who's creating her own problems. Her picker is broken, she ignores the advice she asks for, she stays with people she shouldn't and then starts slamming all men because of it. That's simply not cool.

basilandthyme, well then it sure is different. I know from my experience countless times my friends come crying to me, to get advice and just to after go and do the same mistakes. As a result I stopped giving advice or feel sorry.
In one way it is understandable that a person has some challenges that ask for different approach and learning, but if something is in your face and you still keep doing the same hoping to get different results, it is just ignorance. I know that I am guilty of the same mistake in the past and it took me a few wrong turns, but I also know that the people around you, also the ones who don't know you, usually are right, and it always is a good idea to listen to them. Otherwise don't ask for advice.
Also the route of the cause usually is some deep rooted issues, like low self-esteem, that need to be worked on.
I hope that the OP, gotten some harsh experience will think through her choices the next time.

[searock]

I also thought of pets in terms of people.
Single women get cats, and when they are in a relationship a dog is more appropriate when they are together and eventually have kids, because at least dogs are more emotional and happy to see their owner(s).

In my country, cats are regular pets - no better or worse than dogs. In fact, we tend to admire them even more than dogs, because they are more independent and less needy. They are clean, elegant, and also fuzzy and snuggly. They are definitely not associated with single women or loneliness - pretty much most families have a pet cat, or even if they don't have one to call their own, they help take care of the "neighborhood cats" (by leaving them food and so on).

[searock]

On topic: I agree with basilandthyme (apart from the cat and vibrator thing of course )

[michelle23]

Lol I'm not a cat person. I don't hate them but wouldn't like one as a pet. Cats are not loyal-they are sneaky and they stray a lot. My dog has no desire to go past the front gate. Shes loyal, obedient, affectionate and just plain cute! Cats cannot be trusted with children-not that I would leave a dog alone with a child but dogs are more protective and more emotional in general. My nana had two cats-both disappeared and didn't come back