Help me understand this girl from a girl's prespective!!

[Iaminlove10]

Hi Ladies,

I really want to understand this girl, she is the most mysterious girl I have ever met. Help me understand her please:

She has had a bad childhood and a tough upbringing.

Therefore she seems pretty much emotionally frozen!

This is some of the things she does:

• She always tells me to get over my bad habits like drinking etc..
• She tells me she understands me completely, I don't understand what she understands!
• She is completely free with me unlike with others where she is somewhat of an introvert.
• I am the only one from who she accepts gifts and helps.. never from anyone else
• She remembers even the smallest thing I say and knows pretty much everything about me..

But she REALLY DISLIKES some things in me, like I lie, I am very reckless, irresponsible and indiscipline. Once she wrote to me she dislikes and almost hates dishonest, weak and irresponsible people. She doesn't trust even the most simple thing I say.. she is always like.. you're lying.. you're lying! She even says I am the type of person she can't even stand but oddly still I am her best friend even though she has many friends!..

So, ladies, do you think this girl has any feelings for me.. and if I can change the bad qualities that she hates in me, we can be together?

[basilandthyme]

I vote for changing the bad qualities regardless. You may end up with her or you may not - but either way you'll be a better person.

But most of all, only change because you want to be a better person, not because you are trying to please someone else.

[Lord Darkshire]

Typical girl, she finds you a challenge, a bad boy so she wants to try and "fix" you. It might seem endearing at first because you like her, but after awhile it turns into nagging and will make you miserable and wish she would shut up.

[basilandthyme]

Typical girl, she finds you a challenge, a bad boy so she wants to try and "fix" you. It might seem endearing at first because you like her, but after awhile it turns into nagging and will make you miserable and wish she would shut up.

And that is certainly another valid take on the situation

[Rowen]

I vote for changing the bad qualities regardless. You may end up with her or you may not - but either way you'll be a better person.

But most of all, only change because you want to be a better person, not because you are trying to please someone else.

^ Bingo.

Change has to come from within and only because you desire to be differently. Otherwise, you end up making your entire life revolve around something that may never be... And it leads to everything you worked so hard for coming undone.

So, you need to really look inside yourself and ask yourself if you want to change. And, more importantly, ask yourself if you want to change yourself for yourself or for her. And personally I don't really agree with her trying to control you like that because, well...Let's face it. Her telling you that you need to change is controlling behavior.

When I was with my ex-boyfriend Dave, the biggest things that caused trouble with us were his fears and my insecurities. Though we both understood each other's faults, we acknowledged that if either of us were going to work on those things, it had to be because we wanted to make ourselves better for ourselves...not for someone else. I never asked him to change, and he never asked me to either. As a result, we did have a strong relationship for a while. And when things got rocky, I decided to go to therapy but not for him- for me. And I wouldn't still be in therapy today if I was trying to change myself for him because this coming week will mark a month we've been broken up.

The point of that little story is to show that true love doesn't try to change the other person. And you shouldn't try to change the other even if you aren't in love. It's their life, and they need to do what they feel is best for them- just like Dave is doing what is best for him right now and I'm doing what is best for me right now.

But the question remains; what do YOU and only YOU feel is best for you?

[Lord Darkshire]

Think about it, you being edgy is what attracted her to you in the first place. If you "cleaned up" your act and became pure as a church boy, she will lose interest in you and drop you like a hot potato.

[Iaminlove10]

So, why does she keep saying to everyone that she doesn't like me when she is pretty much obsessed with me!

Just friends dont keep track of everything their friends do!! I am sometimes surprised by the amount of things she knows about me! Like she even knows what I wear to my class when she's not even in that class!

[Rowen]

Maybe she's crazy?
I really have no idea.

[Iaminlove10]

hahahha.. all my friends think she has some mental troubles!

[smackie9]

You know what they say about the crazy ones............

[michelle23]

Maybe she really does hate you but wants you to chase her just so she can knock you back. If you really are all those things you mentioned then maybe she wants to teach you a lesson

[Rowen]

Isn't it that crazy is good in bed? lol jk

In all honesty, though, OP, even if she is into you, do you want to put up with all her troubles? I'm not being smart; I'm asking... :S

[Iaminlove10]

I can vouch that she doesn't hate me! She cares for me more than anyone I know around here but yeah she acts extremely weird sometimes.. I don't wanna leave her as a friend but she makes my head go crazy!

I want to understand her through the perspective of other people .. like what does she exactly want from me?

She says she doesn't like me.. she spends so much time with me.. she likes so much when I sketch her.. she scolds me when I do something wrong.. teases me all the time.. has so much fun with me.. tells me she doesn't trust a word I say but tells me she understands me more than I understand myself .. she knows every single detail about me!!

She is such a mystery to me and I like unravelling mysteries!

[Rowen]

Well, only you can find out what she wants from you. In that case, get closer.

I wouldn't really want to deal with all this craziness, though.