brother of my unrequited love contacted me

[shinbo]

Hi everyone,

Let me tell you first about my unrequited love. I've been in love with this girl for over 8 years. Yes 8 years!
Last year I finally confessed my love for her, which she answered with "I love you but I don't want a relationship for at least the coming 5 years".
I responded with "I don't think I can be friends with you anymore, because it's to hard for me. I really tried (for 8 years) but I know that I will always have feelings for you. I respect your wishes and I hope that you will find someone who will make you happy even though I'm not the one who can make you happy".
We parted ways and I didn't contact or see her for over 9 months. It has been very hard for me. It also doesn't help that she lives very close to me because I can see her house from my bedroom...

But I felt like I had never had a real rejection from her because she said that she did loved me, so even though we parted ways I always felt something was not quite finished.
Two weeks ago I went to her house because I needed to know if I ever had a chance (maybe it was weak of me..) but I wanted a straight answer... some closure...
Her father opened the door and said that she wasn't home but he still welcomed me in. I told him that I came to get closure from her. He told me that she has a boyfriend for two months now.
We talked for an hour about different topics. He complimented me a lot which I appreciated and told me it took a lot of courage from me to do this. I told him that I was happy that she found someone who makes her happy.
He asked me if he should tell her that I came by. I responded with "No I think it's better this way". He promised me that he wouldn't tell her. After that I left. I finally had my closure. It came hard but I was satisfied.

Two days ago I met her for the first time in 9 months by coincidence with her new boyfriend when I was on my way home from the gym. We greeted each other and that was it.
Yesterday her little brother (which I was very close with) texts me out of the blue. He asked me if he could join me when I go train at the gym. I was very suprised because I also haven't seen him for almost a year. I agreed to it.

I found it suspicious that he contacted me right after I saw his sister the other day and couldn't stop thinking that there was more to it. But ok I trained with him today and we never spoke of his sister and I never asked him anything about her (I thought that it was the best decision to make). When we were done he said that he wants to train more often with me.

Do you think that I should still be training with him even though my history with his sister and what do you think about my decisions?


PS. Sorry for my bad grammer. English is not my first language

[Enigmos]

Can you recognize that your crush's brother is not your crush? Perhaps he likes you as a person that he wants to be your friend. If you can't be friends with your crush's brother, then I can understand it being difficult to hang out with him?

To this day, I think of an aunt and uncle of one of my exes. I wish I could have dinner with them every once in a while, but hanging out with them wouldn't cause me to want to hang out with my ex.

[shinbo]

Enigmos, thank you for taking your time to read my post.
Yes I think that I can still be friends with him.. But I think it will take time because he reminds me a lot of his sister. So it feels kinda awkward to hang out with him.
I don't have any expectations of becoming friends again with his sister and I don't think that I ever want to. Till this day I have still got a lot of feelings for his sister.
But I don't want to jeopardize a friendship because of her. But in the back of my head there still spooks the thought that his sister put him up to this...so that she could contact me again or wanted to check up on me...
I know I don't need to think this way and if she did that it doesn't really matter whatsoever but I can't help it. But ok I'm trying.. maybe after some time all will be well.

[Enigmos]

How about try taking it slowly then? Hang out only as much as you can handle. Who knows? Perhaps you'll find out that he's a cool guy too.

[shinbo]

Yeah I think I will do that. Who knows. Must keep being optimistic .

Thanks I appreciate your advice.

[michelle23]

I don't think you should ever waste time on someone who doesn't share your feelings. Never repeat this mistake again. 6 months would be too long, never mind 8 years!

[shinbo]

Yes I know. Never again! Worst feeling I ever felt in my life.