He likes me but so busy? Am i being Played? Advice pls!

[Hth]

So i met this guy on a dating site, we met in the noon and it was a short meeting for coffe. Then he rushed to go to the Gym as he said.

After that i did not care to msg him or kept in touch, he contacted me 2-3 days after that meeting to say good night lolz. We started from there and he sent me msgs here and then and i did not msg him.

We met the 2nd time in the noon too, he told me he was free for me before 7pm, and we met in a cafe. He tried to make physical touches this time, like he tried to sit close to me, looked at me a lot, lay on me, put his arms around my waist... Then he got a message and said he must write an email for work, and then asked me to make a phone call! In there i heard something like "can you meet me at 6pm, are you free for swimming tomorrow? Why are you always sooo busy.... ". I was like Fine, he told me he can meet me at 7pm but now he's trying to make it shorter lolzzz!!! Then he turned around and asked if i was free for going to swimming on saturday, i was like wtf because he has just asked someone else on the phone and i said No sorry i must work on Saturday which was true!

i was turned off, that was why i never msg him right at the start. After that meeting he seemed to msg me everyday, at 11pm or in the morning, and everyday! He was fun and we always had fun times but somethinh inside my head says he was seeing someone before me and i kept having that instinct.

I decided to tell him we better stay friends and i'm not interested in that Kind of dating that he set me to something in the middle of someone else, he told me that it was not dating and not even close to that, he has many female friends but not dating, and he likes me and wants to see how it goes for us! He said we should go on the real date with dinner soon. I was sick by that time so i told him to wait for me to be fine again and he said Okay he will wait.

It came to Monday and i asked if he was free for Dinner and he said Yes. We met and he told me he must get to his place for shower or else he has just got back in a rush to see me! I went there and he was kind of Funny to ask me what he should wear for being compatible with me, he did not stop giving compliments on how i looked!

We had a really fun time and he kissed me, it was a really nice night. When i got home he sent me a text saying he really enjoyed the night with me and i said Thanks to him, he then said he should say thanks to me, i stopped there n said good night to him. This time we made a deal that we will only see each other to see how it goes and not dating around!

I was not free for the next 3 days due to my Shift work so i can't make time to see him! Then i was off on friday n i asked him on Wednesday if he will be free, he said he will confirm on Thursday and then he said he is not sure yet because he must go for a beer with his boss and his boss puts him on hold, and how he misses me, my kisses, my hugs. Thursday came n he asked if i was free on Thursday instead of Friday, i said i cant i must work. Then Friday n i heard nothing from him, he sent me a text at 11pm to say good night sweetie hope you had a nice day! which i did not reply as i was annoying!

Saturday morning n i replied him saying it was okay, and he said good morning. I met 2 cheaters in 2 years so i started to see the signs of him being similar to my exes. This is me being cautious only because we r just dating not a relationship or anything! I told him how i think n he said this is his life, he keeps himself busy, he has a job, he has friends ( who he told me was mostly female) , and he's not gonna change because i think he is a player. I said its fine n i'm not asking him to change but i don't think we fit together, that we should stay friends. He told that if i want we can be friends but he likes me more than friends. Then he offered what he can do then to make me happy?

I gave him some jokes n asked if he wants me to see other guys, he said no and because he likes me.

That evening was Saturday evening, after some of those msgs i did not hear from him anymore the whole night till sunday. No good night or good morning as usual. But this is the thing, he is always busy on weekend!

Could you tell me if he's really interested or he is chasing someone and keeps me on Plan B? When we met he always gave compliment on how great i look and he was very Affectionate. So, i'm really confused. Should i move on or talk to him about it? MALE's opinions pls, Thank you!

[Boisdevie]

My opinion as a gut is this - can't you write a much shorter post that gets to the point?

[smackie9]

Yes you are plan B, now just ditch this guy. Why would you want to invest yourself with someone who doesn't have time for anything anyways....snap out of it, there's plenty more men out there that are looking for someone to SHARE their life with.


P.S. Please don't be one of those who sits around and hopes things will get better.

[Hth]

I know it is long, i'm sorry and really appreciate that you read it .

Updating, he sent me msg tonight and says he was busy with work ( part time modelling). I told him everything i think, he said he must work and earn money... Then he offered me to choose any evening i want, he says he misses me and really want to see me. Maybe he is more committed to this Dating now?

He also told me i need to let him know when i'm free so we can work on it together...

[smackie9]

Well I always say go by their actions not by what they say to you. But even still the guy still doesn't have a lot of time to see you.....are you ok with that? seeing him maybe once a week for 2 hours?

[Hth]

He asked me continuously about going out again even just lunch, so i give him tomorrow evening, but he says he can only go at 8.30pm as he is attending business event with his boss, he tells me that i can join him if i want to, is this sound good?

[smackie9]

Well IMO that isn't quality time....just being a hang around.

[Kromat83]

He asked me continuously about going out
again even just lunch, so i give him tomorrow evening, but he says
he can only go at 8.30pm as he is attending business event with
his boss, he tells me that i can join him if i want to, is this sound good?

If your needs aren't met and he constantly says how work keeps him busy, do you think he's relationship material ?
If he balance both, how will this be sustained ?

Stop making him happy, if your not, thinking it will turn out for the best.
Do what is best for you and make your decision.

I personally would have left this guy, he's not ready and just uses you for companionship.

[Wakeup]

he has many female friends

For someone who has been cheated on twice now (twice that you know of,) I'd say that that ^^^ very red flag of having many girlfriends that he tells you he 'doesn't date' (but makes dates with them in your very presence) would make you quickly stop talking to him altogether. He may only have platonic friends but you'd NEVER be able to trust him around them alone. He sounds like a chump who is on an online dating site to get laid and not much more.

Your gut tells you the same so stop playing the game with him and outright tell him that you don't think you're a good match and then block and delete him. You owe hime NOTHING but a goodbye at this point. You owe yourself the closure so you don't keep entertaining him ~ This is very likely the same kind of guy that's cheated on you in the past. (yes?)

Learn the lesson and chuck the chucklers quickly so that you're not leading them on to thinking you're just a flake that needs convincing.

[smackie9]

It's falling on deaf ears guys, that why history will keep repeating itself.

[basilandthyme]

Even if he's not being a player, why would you pursue someone who doesn't have the time to have a proper relationship with you? And why would you ask to "be friends"? (unless you're lonely and don't have enough friends already?)

When dating, if it works out well with a guy, you keep seeing him. If it doesn't, you forget him and move on the the next. It's really this simple. Forget about being in this no-mans land of occasional dates and friendships.

[just2nice]

Too flaky girl. Part time modeling? Hurry to go to the gym on a first meet, only you will be able to say enough is enough. We could all point out the many red flags but it's up to you to grasp it. And don't feel bad when you are blind to it either, trust me it happens. I'm taking it that he is attractive and charming, let's face it, we are suckers for it and it needs to stop lol!! Just start thinking about what your needs are, if he's not meeting your needs trust me sweetie someone else will. If he's worth it then he would be giving you more than he has because I'm busy too but if I like someone I will MAKE time for him!! Good luck to you

[bekho]

He doesn't seem sincere. I doubt he really likes you. Its a power game. He likes to juggle because he can.

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk

[smackie9]

Old thread. It's over two weeks since the last post.

[sophiaadam]

i think you need to let him work because this will make your life better