Hey there,
I met a girl about 2 months ago (for the sake of conversation let's call her "Girl S", and have ever since been hanging out with her often. Going to the gym, going out
and other things. Although we're definitely not "Official" yet (as she says she wants to take it slow due to a bad recent breakup)
we're definitely very fond of each other.
About 2 days ago my ex-girlfriend of 3 years found out about this Girl S, and out of anger and spite, sent her a FB message
detailing all of the reasons why she shouldn't be interested in me etc etc. When the Girl S initially told me (inside the gym)
she said to me that she hadn't read the FB message, and wanted to talk to me first before reading it.
My initial reaction was one of complete anger and embarrassment, my ex who I'm not even with anymore is still trying to
dictate how I live (I broke up with her due to her being extremely possessive and jealous.) So anyway, Girl S then proceeds
to hand me the phone to read it, before I subsequently say that I'm going to block my ex on her account. After attempting to block her on the
FB app, I realised that the message she sent did not get deleted, so without a second thought, I deleted it.
Fast-forward 6 hours, I found out that my ex-girlfriend (for some reason) had deleted her Facebook account. This came a few minutes before Girl S
Facebook messages me "Hey, do you know what happened to the message your ex-sent?". As if I were compulsively tuned for the reaction
I said to her "I think my ex-girlfriend deleted her account" (little did I know that this was a trap). Girl S then replies "When someone deletes
their account, it doesn't delete the message".
Oh boy, I thought, I've been clocked. She obviously knows that I've lied. So without further a do, I ring up Girl S, fess up that I did lie and ask her if she is angry at me.
She didn't reply with anger in her voice, but with complete dissapointment, she told me that A) It was not my place to delete the message from HER inbox,
no matter how much embarrassment it would have caused me to have a potential girlfriend reading a nasty message from my ex. and B) I kind of lied
by insinuating that by me saying that the termination of ex-girlfriends account caused the message to disappear, I lied to her.
While she said all of this calmly and tried not to make a big deal out of it, her words have reallly affected me, and made me like complete S***.
She has just come out of a difficult relationship with a guy that was incredibly dishonest to her, and now I believe she feels I'm exactly the same.
I've never been a compulsive liar, and 99% of the time always lived a life where the truth comes first. This situation really caught me off guard
and I guess all dishonesty stems from a kind of fear.
She said to me that "This doesn't make you a bad person, but I'm making observations". Up until this point, my time with her has been amazing,
we really get on, and we enjoy each others company. I feel like right now, I'm either going to have to work incredibly hard to gain back her trust,
or she will simply decide that if I can't be trusted with small minscule incidents like this, how will I be on larger subjects? She ended the conversation
by saying that I should get on with my university work, and that simply, for her to be in a relationship she needs to trust someone 100%.
I've sent her a message apoligising, and promising her that I will definitely not be doing this again, but it's been quite a few hours since she has
responded. I'm not a stupid teenager who believes that it will be the end of the world if she does choose to ditch me due to this incident, but
It will hurt alot, as I have invested a large amount of time and emotion into trying to show her the better qualities of my character.
On another note, it will show that my ex really does have the power to still hurt me even though I'm not with her anymore.
Any advice on this situation would be really helpful, I have a large amount of university work due in, but this is completely doing my head it.
thanks for reading
M.S