Rejection

[honeypie]

Hi guys :-)

I hope you can help me with this.

A guy and a girl are friends at college. They don't hang out in private but they say hello when they see each other and talk. If the guy asks the girl out one day and the girl says no, will he completely cut her off and avoid her?

Or would guys only avoid a girl like this, if you have been on a couple of dates and she rejected you afterwards?

Help :-)

[anastasis]

Hi guys :-)

I hope you can help me with this.

A guy and a girl are friends at college. They don't hang out in private but they say hello when they see each other and talk. If the guy asks the girl out one day and the girl says no, will he completely cut her off and avoid her?

Or would guys only avoid a girl like this, if you have been on a couple of dates and she rejected you afterwards?

Help :-)

Um,

Yes, and...

Yes.

Thank you.

Next.

[searock]

Why do you ask? Have you rejected a guy? If you want to go out with him again, you ask him out on another date.

[honeypie]

No it's not me, it's about a friend... I just wondered whether a guy would completely avoid a woman like this if she for instance rejected going on a date with him through a text, or whether he just has a huge ego or something.. A guy avoided me like this once but that was after 6 months of dating, and I rejected him and it was completely fair of him to avoid me.. But I actually rejected the guy i was seeing back then in a text message to begin with but he wasn't pissed off afterwards he kept coming on even stronger.. So just wondered if guys generally avoid women who have rejected a first date for instance in a text message

[searock]

It depends on the guy, of course. And on the way they have been rejected, I would assume.

For example, if your friend went on a couple of "good" dates with this guy, and then when he asked her out on another date she told him "I'm sorry, I can't that day... how about another time?", I would imagine the guy should have replied something like "Oh, okay, when works for you :-)?" and then it would have been up to her to suggest another day. Same thing goes if he was asking her out on a first date.

In general, I think it's just common sense that if someone (even just a friend) says they can't make it on a particular day and time, they should suggest another day and time. Why hasn't your friend done so? If she wants to go on a date with him, she should let him know.

If he asked her out on a date and she just told him "I'm sorry, I can't" without even suggesting the idea of going out another time, obviously he would think that he was being rejected, and he wouldn't attempt to ask her out again. Again: she should make it clear that she wasn't rejecting him in general, she just couldn't make it that particular day.

[honeypie]

It's a long story but he avoided her completely in front of me which was really weird, and she said between the lines that he had asked her, and I know she was dating someone else at the time but unofficially.. I dont know what she meant by 'he had asked her' but it would really strike me if she had dated both guys at the same time, just because she's the type of person who can't sleep at night if she heard someone talking crap behind her back... But the way he avoided her made me think that this was more than 'asking out' but then again I don't understand a man's mind :-p

[searock]

I think it would help if you gave us the whole story.

No two persons are the same, so there is no "guide to understanding a man's mind", because every mind is different.

[honeypie]

Can I write you privately?

[anastasis]

Can I write you privately?

Privately.

[searock]

Can I write you privately?

Yes, of course. Send me a PM :-)

[HDBadger]

Agreed with searock that the whole story would help here, but from what you told us, nothing "weird" is going on.

He asked her out. She rejected him. He doesn't feel any need to interact with her anymore. Pretty normal.

Recently I got a woman's number at a bookstore. When I asked her to get a cup of coffee with me, she didn't reply to the message. That was a few weeks ago. I haven't talked to her since and don't plan on talking to her again.

This has nothing to do with "ego" by the way. Guys with self-worth aren't going to engage women who clearly aren't interested in them.

[Wakeup]

I think he SHOULD avoid her after he's asked her out and she's rejected him. Perhaps hes a smart young man who just wants action or an actual relationship with girls instead of ending up being their MALE girlfriends.

[appleORorange]

Depends on the guy and how good he THINKS he is...

If he thinks hes gods gift he will persist on asking
If he is real life then he will cut her out.

I never ask anymore, i dont like "no" so i dont put myself in situations to hear that.