I really can't talk to my own friends about this because, well, it just feels a little wrong in all honesty haha. But yeah I'm 21, and he's 19, which although is only a 2 year age gap, still sounds wrong because he technically has the word 'teen' in his age. But anyway I'll give you a little back-story.
I've been friends with my best friend (I'm going to call her Sarah for the sake of this story, and his name is going to be Adam) for about 8 years now, and I've known him for the same amount of time, so I've sort of seen him grow up, and I've never ever had any sort of feelings or attractions towards him during that period of time, as obviously I always saw him as younger than me. We've hung out quite a bit like whenever I would go round Sarah's house as a teenager, he would sometimes hang out with us, or we would go out as a group of 4 with Adam bringing his friend along. I'm sort of like a 'family friend' to Sarah and her family in that sense, as I've been on holidays with them and vice versa. Sarah used to say when we were younger that she could always tell Adam had a little crush on me, but I just took it as being quite sweet.
Anyway, last year he turned 18, and I was 20 at that time, and me and my other friend were out at the same nightclub as Adam that night, and he kept trying to make a move on me (not in a sleazy way, he was just very drunk haha) but I had to explain to him that I couldn't because he was too young, and he was my best friends younger brother and I did not see him like that. I kept hearing him saying to his friends how 'beautiful I was' and how he was trying to pursue me. Obviously he was pretty drunk as well as this was the night of his 18th birthday so I don't think he took the 'rejection' too harshly. The same thing also occurred again a few weeks later when I saw him out at the same nightclub, but he was very drunk again so the way I was rejecting him wasn't taken too seriously I don't think.
Now this year I've seen him out a few times, and also seen him at Sarah's a few times for pre-drinks before we all go out and he has matured a lot. He was always someone you knew would grow up to be a good looking guy. He gets a lot of attention from girls, goes to the gym, dresses well etc. etc. (which was a given because Sarah also looks like a model so I guess it's in the genes haha) and I seem to be developing some sort of feelings or maybe just a crush I don't know, but I don't want to be. We all went out together recently for Sarah's 21st, and one thing I notice about Adam (which has always been the case, despite him being younger than me) is how protective he can be of me. I know he is younger than me, but I am the sort of person that can come across as quite 'innocent' and 'vulnerable' apparently, and people tend to get a little protective of me. So if guys were giving me unwanted attention he sort of pulled me away, or if I have had a little too much to drink he would come over and make sure I was okay. Now like I said, that could just be him having the protective instinct like a lot of my friends do, but it sort of made me like him that little bit more.
I think I've just over the last 3 years had a lot of guys I've been unsure of, or that I've always been cautious of just wanting to sleep with me and nothing more. (I am still a virgin so I am still cautious of that). So there's something that feels a bit more genuine about this, and I think because I've known him for 8 years or whatever, that I know I trust him as a person. Now I'm not saying his feelings are the same towards me, and I wouldn't know because we have never had a chance. But I just don't know what to do about this situation. Should I just leave it for now, maybe wait until he's a bit older and see if we both share any feelings. Or should I look into pursuing something now? Because lately, every time I see him I just wanna be with him, and it's really getting to me. HELP?