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Thread: Starting to like my best friend's younger brother?

  1. #1
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    Starting to like my best friend's younger brother?

    I really can't talk to my own friends about this because, well, it just feels a little wrong in all honesty haha. But yeah I'm 21, and he's 19, which although is only a 2 year age gap, still sounds wrong because he technically has the word 'teen' in his age. But anyway I'll give you a little back-story.

    I've been friends with my best friend (I'm going to call her Sarah for the sake of this story, and his name is going to be Adam) for about 8 years now, and I've known him for the same amount of time, so I've sort of seen him grow up, and I've never ever had any sort of feelings or attractions towards him during that period of time, as obviously I always saw him as younger than me. We've hung out quite a bit like whenever I would go round Sarah's house as a teenager, he would sometimes hang out with us, or we would go out as a group of 4 with Adam bringing his friend along. I'm sort of like a 'family friend' to Sarah and her family in that sense, as I've been on holidays with them and vice versa. Sarah used to say when we were younger that she could always tell Adam had a little crush on me, but I just took it as being quite sweet.

    Anyway, last year he turned 18, and I was 20 at that time, and me and my other friend were out at the same nightclub as Adam that night, and he kept trying to make a move on me (not in a sleazy way, he was just very drunk haha) but I had to explain to him that I couldn't because he was too young, and he was my best friends younger brother and I did not see him like that. I kept hearing him saying to his friends how 'beautiful I was' and how he was trying to pursue me. Obviously he was pretty drunk as well as this was the night of his 18th birthday so I don't think he took the 'rejection' too harshly. The same thing also occurred again a few weeks later when I saw him out at the same nightclub, but he was very drunk again so the way I was rejecting him wasn't taken too seriously I don't think.

    Now this year I've seen him out a few times, and also seen him at Sarah's a few times for pre-drinks before we all go out and he has matured a lot. He was always someone you knew would grow up to be a good looking guy. He gets a lot of attention from girls, goes to the gym, dresses well etc. etc. (which was a given because Sarah also looks like a model so I guess it's in the genes haha) and I seem to be developing some sort of feelings or maybe just a crush I don't know, but I don't want to be. We all went out together recently for Sarah's 21st, and one thing I notice about Adam (which has always been the case, despite him being younger than me) is how protective he can be of me. I know he is younger than me, but I am the sort of person that can come across as quite 'innocent' and 'vulnerable' apparently, and people tend to get a little protective of me. So if guys were giving me unwanted attention he sort of pulled me away, or if I have had a little too much to drink he would come over and make sure I was okay. Now like I said, that could just be him having the protective instinct like a lot of my friends do, but it sort of made me like him that little bit more.

    I think I've just over the last 3 years had a lot of guys I've been unsure of, or that I've always been cautious of just wanting to sleep with me and nothing more. (I am still a virgin so I am still cautious of that). So there's something that feels a bit more genuine about this, and I think because I've known him for 8 years or whatever, that I know I trust him as a person. Now I'm not saying his feelings are the same towards me, and I wouldn't know because we have never had a chance. But I just don't know what to do about this situation. Should I just leave it for now, maybe wait until he's a bit older and see if we both share any feelings. Or should I look into pursuing something now? Because lately, every time I see him I just wanna be with him, and it's really getting to me. HELP?

  2. #2
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    I say go for it! The age difference is minimal and he may have more "experience" then you. He has had a crush on you, so I think you have got something there. Next time you guys are out get a little more flirtatious with him and see how it goes.

    I have been in the same situation....my sister is 5 years older then me and has a number of hot friends. Well once I got to college (me in undergrad and my sister in grad school at the same college) I started hanging out with my sister and her friends more. Well before I knew it I was dating one of her best friends. Over the years I have dated a few of my sister's friends and she even dated my best friend for a while, never was an issue at all.

    I am willing to bet your friend may even like the idea of you dating her brother. I know I had no problem with my best friend dating my sister because he is a great guy.
    Last edited by FlaCooln; 06-01-14 at 02:47 PM.

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    I dated a few that were 19 when I was 24, so ya it might be OK. None panned out to being much because they weren't interested in anything long term which was understandable, but not all 19 years old guys are like that. It really doesn't make a difference who you go out with you take your chances anyways.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FlaCooln View Post
    I say go for it! The age difference is minimal and he may have more "experience" then you. He has had a crush on you, so I think you have got something there. Next time you guys are out get a little more flirtatious with him and see how it goes.

    I have been in the same situation....my sister is 5 years older then me and has a number of hot friends. Well once I got to college (me in undergrad and my sister in grad school at the same college) I started hanging out with my sister and her friends more. Well before I knew it I was dating one of her best friends. Over the years I have dated a few of my sister's friends and she even dated my best friend for a while, never was an issue at all.

    I am willing to bet your friend may even like the idea of you dating her brother. I know I had no problem with my best friend dating my sister because he is a great guy.
    You make a valid point, particularly the last bit. I do remember when my friend was told by my other friends that her brother was trying it on with me, she said 'ohhh you should just go for it you know, he is 18 now', sort of half joking, but I think she had some sort of meaning behind it. I think it's cause she knows me, she knows I wouldn't hurt her brother ever, because I wouldn't even know how haha, so I guess for her it would be a win/win situation. Not to say that me and him would end up being anything serious anyway, could just be something casual if anything, but you've given me a bit more confidence to push things forward now thanks!


    Quote Originally Posted by smackie9 View Post
    I dated a few that were 19 when I was 24, so ya it might be OK. None panned out to being much because they weren't interested in anything long term which was understandable, but not all 19 years old guys are like that. It really doesn't make a difference who you go out with you take your chances anyways.
    Yeah to be fair I should probably just take a chance on it. It's not as though I'm necessarily looking for anything serious myself, I just wanna experience something, and it would be nice to do that with someone I trust I guess, and doesn't hurt that he's attractive, and a nice guy too. So if it didn't work out, I'm sure we would remain in contact anyway, seeing as I'm such good friends with his sister. Hopefully I'll see him out again soon

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    That's not a big age difference at all. Go for it

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    I am 24 years old and if I see a studly 19 year old, even I may go for him. I am terrible
    A strong woman takes advantage of help she can get from people around her but she doesn't rely on them for anything

    She uses logic and manages her emotions

    She offers help either because it is a business transaction or out of kindness. It is never because she hopes others will return the favour or out of fear of losing them

    She has her own mind and thinks for herself and knows that she has to be the one who bears the consequences of her decisions

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    Quote Originally Posted by fearoflove View Post
    I am 24 years old and if I see a studly 19 year old, even I may go for him. I am terrible
    Cradle robber lol.......

    I'm almost 50 and I would have np rattling some 25 years old's cage lol.....

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