Girlfriend of 4 years finished with me out of the blue 3 days after our anniversary.

[Suffolk_Mikey]

Hello,

I'm 34 from Suffolk, UK.

My girlfriend of 4 years finished with me on Friday 6th December. We went for our 4 years anniversary on Tuesday and everything seemed normal as she even showed me what she has bought for the house.

For 4 years she would come and stay at mine for 3-4 nights a week. She lives with her mum but planned to move in with me once she has got a permanent contract from her work in December which she now has.
She been buying stuff for the house and decorated each room.

I don't get why she would just finished with me without a warning.

However, when I asked her how long has she been unhappy, she said 2 months.
Her best friend who went travelling to Thailand, Australia & New Zealand came back 2 months ago. And they met up properly and had a girly night out and a good catch up one weekend. And a week later she broke up with me.

Maybe after hearing what her friend has been up to, it maybe made her a little jealous and perhaps thought she could do the same if she was single.

She is 25 and her best friend is the same age.

All the time we were together I always encourage her to go out and meet up with her friends but she doesn't have many friends so she never really do anything with them. I would suggest we go to a festival but she doesn't like the idea of not able to wash properly and doesn't like camping.
She doesn't drink so when I suggest we go to a pub or a club she would rather us stay in which was fine with me.

She doesn't have many friends and when she met me, she made many new friends and enjoyed being around all my friends when we have a gathering, BBQ etc.

We have traveled to Thailand 3 times together and to Turkey once. She loved Thailand so much she wanted to move there. So we planned to save up and move there one day.

We have never argued in 4 years. It's too good to be true but that how it was. We loved the same music. We love nature and wildlife. We shared many dreams together.

Then out of nowhere she just dropped the bomb. And that was it.

You can imagine how confused I am.

I asked if there was someone else, she said no. But maybe she was trying to protect me from not hurting me anymore if she told me she did have someone else.

Or maybe if she cheated on me and couldn't live with guilt trip.

It's frustrating not knowing exactly what/why.

All she said was she doesn't want this anymore. Moving to my house, moving to Thailand or being with me.

I just wish she would be more specific then at least I would know what's what.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

She's 25 and probably not really looking to settle down like you are..even if she said she is. You're at completely different points in life, and honestly, roles should've been reversed. Typically the older one in an age-gap relationship like yours is the one in control, and doesn't really give a ****, and that's because usually they've got enough experience to know it probably won't work.

Worrying about why is pointless, and you'll probably never get the truth. Also, never arguing in 4 years..sounds like you were her bitch and she probably wanted you to grow a spine.

It's going to suck for a while, but you'll move on. I'm wondering what you had in common with a 25 year old?

[Boisdevie]

She either broke up with you for a good reason as far as she was concerned - which means it's over or
She broke up with you for no good reason, just for the hell of it which makes her a nutjob. Either way it's over and accept the fact that she has no obligation to go into detail explaining why.

[michelle23]

Sorry your hurting. Sometimes people just grow apart or fall out of love. Its hard but you need to look after yourself and try to heal. It takes time but you will be okay

[Suffolk_Mikey]

I have accepted the break up. Yes I am confused but I am fine. Just wondering if anyone might have been through a similar situation that's all.

It has been just over 3 weeks and I am coping very well. Kept busy exercising, meeting up with friends and family. Lots of drinks due to Christmas of cause :-).

However I think maybe I should go for someone my age in the future. But then again you can't help who you fall in love with. Or can you?

[michelle23]

Yes you can lol. Love is a process. It takes time to fall in love. If you keep your eyes open for red flags and warning signs in the beginning and dont give in to the infatuation/chemistry then a lot of people would avoid a lot of heartbreak. Unfortunately though most people are brainwashed by the media and the concept of love at first sight, the one, soul mates and all that bollox... most people dont even know what love is anymore..